Hi Poppy, welcome
There is no easy answer to grief. If others like me are realistic, honest with our advice it can come across as an easy fix, it isnt. I'm so sorry for your loss. So, I'll try to explain the best approach which isnt ideal by any stretch of the imagination.
I'd like to compare your loss with the loss of my dad way back in 1992. He was 64yo he was the best father I could have wished for. Yes that's 32 years ago and I still grieve for him today, actually I say "grieve"... it's more that I miss him and that's the difference that time does- your grief lasts as long as the individual takes for it to drift away and you are left with missing them with the occasional grief periods.
The highlighted sentence is most important. Everyone is different with length and intensity of grief so no one should say to you "get over it" etc, you are you and you have a right to experience it your way. However, once the grief has begun to pass we enter the "miss you" phase which is less intense. I suggest you embrace this new phase because it is priceless to keep memories of your mother going- why? Because not only are they wonderful to recall so you never forget but also you could have children one day and your mothers warmth and love can be passed onto your kids as she did with you, this is the single most wonderful thing about a great parent- that they live on inside us and they would appreciate that you are passing on their legacy. Make sense?
Another fact is that I always think of what my dad would prefer I do. Would he want me to grieve continuously ir would he say "by all means miss me but I want you to strive to get on with your life as best you can"
Practical ways of overcoming deep grief- plant a rose in honour of her. writing is a great way of keeping a journal or poetry and being kind to people as she was when she was here.
This forum is open 24/7/365 and once you post you just have to wait for a reply. So anytime- please do so.
Your GP could write you another certificate, they'll understand.
YOUR MUM LIVES ON
There's a wonder in every parent that passes away
And its taken with them on that fateful day
To wish their child remains strong and can pass on their love
Be free and soft hearted like a pure white dove
And the sorrow is there for all to see
But one day dust yourself off and stay free
For all of life includes losing another is to be
Promoting your mum from within is the key
And her kindness will be seen by all that you touch
With your laugh, your hugs and your compassion as such
It's ok to cry, its ok to grieve
That when your mum leaves herself on your sleeve
You cant put a price on life and your role
To spread her love through your living soul
So the best way to honour her so she's never "gone"
Is to show the world through you... then she lives on...
TonyWK
