Dear L.J. I was so very sorry to read your post. How dreadful for you and family. It must've been a dreadful shock to learn the way you did. Learning about suicide in any way is awful, no matter who the person was. Unfortunately, nothing you could have said or done would've stopped him, he'd made up his mind. All you can do is accept that he's no longer in pain. Even if by some miracle you could've stopped him that would've been temporary, because he'd decided. Have you considered grief counselling to deal with your feelings of anger/hurt/ bewilderment. These are all normal grief issues which come with any sort of loss. Anger because of what's happened, bewildered, trying to understand, why. Hurt because of your emotional pain at losing him. Guilt because of the anger, it's a roller coaster of emotions that you need to deal with. Grief counselling will help you. Don't be embarrassed about how long you feel the way you do, grief takes all forms and different people have different ways of dealing with grief. You're right, you are important and it is okay to say, I'm not okay.
Again - please accept my sincerest condolences.
