Losing my father who loved me most in my life

[Guest_74960730]

The sudden loss of my father has left me shattered and unprepared. This morning, my cousin delivered the devastating news that he had passed away from a heart attack. The shock is overwhelming, especially since we had been planning to reunite at my graduation ceremony this December—our first meeting since I came to Australia nearly two years ago to study.

I knew my father was dedicated to his work and often reluctant to seek medical attention. Part of me believed he was taking care of himself, but our distance made it impossible for me to know for certain. Now, it's too late for so many things. It's too late to express how much I love him. It's too late to tell him what a wonderful father he was. It's too late to apologize for not visiting home more often. It's too late to do all the things I wished I could have done for him

I feel so empty and desperate right now. Nothing seems to matter anymore, and I feel as though I lost the goal of my life. I fear that I'll be living with a void in my heart and crying in every moment when I miss him. 

I miss him. I love him.....

[Scared]

I know what its like to lose my dad too

I was angry and confused that the world kept on turning.  I felt all cars on the road all people and machines needed to stop because my dad deserved the world to stop in honour of dad and my pain.

I know saying it does get easier in time which it does its not the right time yet

I hear you loud and clear 

But I also know all the things we say like I should have seen him more and feelings of regret

I dont want to try to stop you with feelings of regret but I want you to see that he knows you love him. He knows your busy with life and older people accept their sons and daughters move on but never stop loving .

I hear your heart tearing but also try to remember all the things you did do for your dad.

I can hear how much you love your dad

When my dad died I found comfort in talking to family and close friends.

I thinking of you ok