Immediate support
Immediate support

Grief and loss

Support and advice following the loss of a family member, partner, spouse or someone close to you.

Start a discussion

FAQ

Find answers to some of the more frequently asked questions on the Forums.

View the FAQ

Forums guidelines

Our guidelines keep the Forums a safe place for people to share and learn information.

View the guidelines
Jump to
Start a discussion

Pinned discussions

Sophie_M Welcome to the Grief and Loss section
  • replies: 27

Everyone’s experience of grief or loss is unique. You might experience all kinds of difficult or overwhelming emotions, and you might sometimes wonder if the sadness will ever end. This is a normal reaction to loss. There is no right or wrong way to ... View more

Everyone’s experience of grief or loss is unique. You might experience all kinds of difficult or overwhelming emotions, and you might sometimes wonder if the sadness will ever end. This is a normal reaction to loss. There is no right or wrong way to grieve, but it can help to allow yourself to: share your grief, and let others support you. This forum category is for all discussions relating to how grief and loss has affected you, providing a space for you to express your feelings, discuss difficult moments and anniversaries, and honour the memories of your lost loved ones. Please be aware that threads in this forum may contain discussions of self-harm and suicide.

All discussions

Start a discussion

mobius It doesn't feel real.
  • replies: 3

Hey guys. My father just passed away, and I feel empty. I feel like this is some bad dream that I will wake up from. I am 42 but after a long period of addiction, I got clean and re-connected with my family and friends, but I still feel like a child ... View more

Hey guys. My father just passed away, and I feel empty. I feel like this is some bad dream that I will wake up from. I am 42 but after a long period of addiction, I got clean and re-connected with my family and friends, but I still feel like a child sometimes. This means the passing of Dad has had a profound effect on me. I doesn't seem real, and I don't know what to do to make sense of it. I have picked up more meetings and they are helping, but when is this going to hit? When is it going to make sense so I can process it?

MoliMum There Goes My Everything!
  • replies: 1

Hi all, i just want to start this post off with this...... I know this forum is more for younger gen and i just want to say to you beautiful people.... Thank you for being you! Thank you for being here, thank you for giving this world the amazing gif... View more

Hi all, i just want to start this post off with this...... I know this forum is more for younger gen and i just want to say to you beautiful people.... Thank you for being you! Thank you for being here, thank you for giving this world the amazing gift of YOU. You are here going through your own life struggles no matter what they are, always know you are brilliant, you are amazing, you are so very very special in so many unique ways. Do not let anyone tell you otherwise. Ok well hi all, obviously i am new and this is my first post about loss. Loss of My Love, My Life, My Everything.I had a major loss in march this year my furbaby daughter and i am certainly not traveling well at all. I know i should be as i am 50yrs old for petes sake. But the love of my life, my soul mate my reason for living passed while i was cuddling her and i just can not make things right in my world. I am so done with life, people, circumstances, the world, absolutely everything. I get up and do life because i have to, we all have to. Doesn't make it right or easier or great or good or even so-so, it just is. I honestly could go on and on about how i feel and think now but i would bore you to tears and end up in them myself. So suffice to say i do life because my one wish to have a heart attack, die and be with my girl is not being granted. That sh*ts me to tears. Sorry for the whinge but good to just say it. Thank you.

KannF Depressions
  • replies: 5

So I’m struggling with depression/anxiety I’ve been on antidepressants for quite sometime now. (I’m not even sure they work) i lost my father to suicide and my mother from a seizure.My father’s side of the family haven’t spoken to me since and it’s b... View more

So I’m struggling with depression/anxiety I’ve been on antidepressants for quite sometime now. (I’m not even sure they work) i lost my father to suicide and my mother from a seizure.My father’s side of the family haven’t spoken to me since and it’s been nearly 4 years since my father’s passing. I’m still so young but I feel so different from everyone around me.I constantly feel so alone in this world and lost like no one understands how hard it is to just “keep yourself busy” doing so doesn’t change anything I’m just either extremely depressed or cranky.. & I don’t enjoy anything anymore..

Jess40 New community member
  • replies: 4

Hello there. I'm new in here. I suffer from anxiety and depression and it got to the point where I can't work. I am struggling to leave the house, have constant negative thoughts and feel very lost. I've been going through a lot for the past 2 years.... View more

Hello there. I'm new in here. I suffer from anxiety and depression and it got to the point where I can't work. I am struggling to leave the house, have constant negative thoughts and feel very lost. I've been going through a lot for the past 2 years. One of my children has a medical condition that worries the hell out of me, my mother past away in 2021 and I couldn't make for the funeral due to travelling restrictions (Covid), I have a terrible relationship with my overseas family and my marriage is been on the rocks for a while now. I quit my job cause I couldn't cope dealing with people in general and I feel like my life is finished. I wish I could go to sleep and never wake up again. It is just too hard.

Plummy Losing My Husband of 50years
  • replies: 4

I lost my darling husband to a Rapid Degenerative Alzheimers in October 2020. He went from an active smart busy man to dying within 18 months. He was diagnosed as having some form of dementia or Parkinson’s, after numerous tests and visits to doctors... View more

I lost my darling husband to a Rapid Degenerative Alzheimers in October 2020. He went from an active smart busy man to dying within 18 months. He was diagnosed as having some form of dementia or Parkinson’s, after numerous tests and visits to doctors and specialists, (who could not find any reason or clinical issue to cause his symptoms), in May 2019 and after him deteriorating day by day, was admitted to a nursing home on Christmas Eve 2019 as I could not longer care for him or get him out of bed. The last 4 months of his life were devastating with him no longer knowing his family, only being able take liquids and slowly fading away. We as a family made the decision to not have a feeding tube implemented thinking he would pass within a few days. Unfortunately he didn’t pass for three weeks which was the most traumatic time of my life. I moved into the nursing home for the last 6 weeks of his life and slept beside him in a recliner chair holding his hand. For the last two days of his life I lay beside him in his bed cuddling him and holding his hand until he took his last breath. He was gasping for breath for the two days before he died. I feel I was traumatised by his death… just feel so alone since he passed away.

shorti Still grieving my mum
  • replies: 2

I lost my mum 17 years ago and yesterday I got completely emotional wishing she was back. Earlier in the year I had my first baby. I just wish my mum could meet my baby. Yesterday I started to look at baby photos of mine to compare my daughter to mys... View more

I lost my mum 17 years ago and yesterday I got completely emotional wishing she was back. Earlier in the year I had my first baby. I just wish my mum could meet my baby. Yesterday I started to look at baby photos of mine to compare my daughter to myself at the same age and saw all the photos of mum holding me. All this brought back memories and is what made me upset. Mum would of loved to become a grandmother and I feel that I'm missing out on so much that she's not here. I just don't know how I'm going to move on.

bigfatpj I've lost everything
  • replies: 1

Hi my name is Paul and I'm 38 and 3 months ago the love of my life, my beautiful wife passed away from natural but undetermined causes my nice car broke down 8 months ago and the car I was borrowing lost its clutch so now I walk. My late wife's famil... View more

Hi my name is Paul and I'm 38 and 3 months ago the love of my life, my beautiful wife passed away from natural but undetermined causes my nice car broke down 8 months ago and the car I was borrowing lost its clutch so now I walk. My late wife's family excluded me from the viewing and cremation I feel like I've got no hope for the future and I'm struggling to keep going any more I'm not coping well barely eating or showering. I'm just miserable all the time I can fake it around people but it's exhaustive and I don't know what to do next. Anyone got some advice?

jyou Trying to make sense
  • replies: 4

Hi there, it is nice to see others thoughts if you can..I previously lost a good mate to suicide 5 years ago.I was a mum to very young kids and kept so much of my grieving to myself and didn't get to speak to anyone about my true feelings of grief. M... View more

Hi there, it is nice to see others thoughts if you can..I previously lost a good mate to suicide 5 years ago.I was a mum to very young kids and kept so much of my grieving to myself and didn't get to speak to anyone about my true feelings of grief. My husband was even closer to him and decided to head off on planned fishing trips so the mates could grieve together. I soldiered on as a busy mum and tried to brave feelings. Bloody tough, but I got through.Plenty of emotion along the ride and I broke completely once my husband come home for a cuddle and cry (me crying!) Now of this week, we have had a friend pass away - suicide. Not as close as previous mate, but I was absolutely distraught when someone told me about the death. I thought I would be ok, but completely broke down when told. I think I was reliving and still this week, reliving the grief from my mate from 5 years ago.... is that normal to react so emotionally.... I think I may need to talk to someone directly about my previous grief I didn't deal with.

Doolhof Dealing with GRIEF and LOSS
  • replies: 19

Hello Everyone, I would like to open up a discussion about grief and loss, how it affects you, how you cope with it, and what you have found helpful. You may have a poem you find comforting you might like to share with us all, a book that has been es... View more

Hello Everyone, I would like to open up a discussion about grief and loss, how it affects you, how you cope with it, and what you have found helpful. You may have a poem you find comforting you might like to share with us all, a book that has been especially beneficial, advice from people, wisdom you have learnt through your own experience perhaps. Maybe you need a place to share your grief and loss experience. My sense of grief has been heightened recently with the anniversary of a child's death and the upcoming 1st anniversary of a family member's death. I have found sharing on this forum has helped me immensely, as people here understand have compassion and empathy. Long walks, writing down how I am feeling, connecting with people, gardening, reading books when the thoughts are too sad to take and other times accepting the memories has helped. Please feel free to use this space to share your thoughts if you are comfortable to do so. Sending you all kind thoughts as you deal with thoughts about your grief and loss. Regards form Dools

Cass310321 Mental Health & My Dog
  • replies: 3

A year ago I survived Domestic Violence after realising I’d been mentally and emotionally abused for 2 years. Unfortunately due to my loneliness in the relationship I had gotten a Labrador puppy just a month earlier. The domestic violence lead to hos... View more

A year ago I survived Domestic Violence after realising I’d been mentally and emotionally abused for 2 years. Unfortunately due to my loneliness in the relationship I had gotten a Labrador puppy just a month earlier. The domestic violence lead to hospitalisation, homelessness, coming to realise I was a drug addict thanks to my ex, quitting my job to go to rehab and then also finally after 8 months of begging for help, finally getting a diagnosis of Borderline Personality Disorder, CPTD, insomnia, substance abuse and I already had suffered depression for 20 years as well as anxiety. it’s been a year since my world fell apart. I’ve worked tirelessly to keep my puppy. I’ve worked so hard to train him each and everyday. We live in a 2 bedroom flat with a small backyard where he gets bored. We have no money and I need to work. But he will destroy the place while I’m at work. And I know I’ll be tired when I get home as I am still considered to be in a crisis situations despite it being a year on. I have such guilt that it’s just him and me and he whines out of boredom despite me walking him twice a day. The breeder I purchased him off made us sign a contract saying that if he needs to be rehomed he must be taken back to her to get a good home which is good. But if I do give him up how do I live with myself? If it wasn’t for him I’d be dead a million times over this past year. But if I didn’t have him I wouldn’t have any anxiety about working, I’d be able to focus on my recovery and wellness and exercise and health. But for so long it’s been either me or him and I alway choose to have his needs tended too first. I see him as a child. I don’t know what to do, and borderline personality can’t be fixed with a pill. It’s lifelong. I don’t know how we will survive financially for the next 10-14 years if I can’t work due to my anxiety over leaving him. I m damned if I do and damned if I don’t. His 15 months old now and 37.5kgs. The vet can’t believe his size. And it’s caused problems such as him pulling me to my knees 5 times over the period of 3 weeks injuring my meniscus. I’m scared I’ll never run again. And I used to run and weight train before Covid for mental health.I even did a half marathon. As I said, it’s either him or me and I never choose myself so I suffer.