Immediate support
Immediate support

Grief and loss

Support and advice following the loss of a family member, partner, spouse or someone close to you.

Start a discussion

FAQ

Find answers to some of the more frequently asked questions on the Forums.

View the FAQ

Forums guidelines

Our guidelines keep the Forums a safe place for people to share and learn information.

View the guidelines
Jump to
Start a discussion

Pinned discussions

BeyondBlue Welcome to the Grief and Loss section
  • replies: 0

Hey there,Welcome to the Grief and Loss section of the Beyond Blue Forums. This section is for all discussions relating to how grief and loss has affected you- providing a space for you to express your feelings, discuss difficult moments and annivers... View more

Hey there,Welcome to the Grief and Loss section of the Beyond Blue Forums. This section is for all discussions relating to how grief and loss has affected you- providing a space for you to express your feelings, discuss difficult moments and anniversaries, and honour the memories of your lost loved ones. Everyone’s experience of grief or loss is unique. You might experience all kinds of difficult or overwhelming emotions, and you might sometimes wonder if the sadness will ever end. This - and anything in between - is a normal reaction to loss. There is no right or wrong way to grieve, but it can help to allow yourself to share your grief, and let others support you. Please be aware that discussions in this section of the Forums may include references to self-harm and suicide. Treat yourself gently as you read through this section. If need more immediate support, we recommend reaching out to the following: Beyond Blue Support Service – any time, chat online to a counsellor or call 1300 22 4636 Griefline – between 8am and 8pm (AEST), call 1300 845 745 to chat with a specially trained volunteer You are not alone in this, and we are here to support one another. Thank you for being here. Kind regards,Beyond Blue

All discussions

Start a discussion

naralle I really miss my mother
  • replies: 5

My mum and I were really close when I was living at home, but when I decided to move out things really changed. My mum wasn't herself and when I went to visit her and dad but when I met my future husband well things completely changed. My mum and dad... View more

My mum and I were really close when I was living at home, but when I decided to move out things really changed. My mum wasn't herself and when I went to visit her and dad but when I met my future husband well things completely changed. My mum and dad have cut me off and it's been like it since 2004 and my sisters don't wont anything to do with me, so basically my family have cut me off all because I left home and I'm in morning for losing my mum even though she hasn't passed away. I miss my mum so much it hurts, I've written to my mum 3 times and no reply. I think my father might have something to do with it as we never really got a long. I always new that I was the black sheep of the family. In my father's eyes I couldn't mount to anything, I was a big disappointment to him. But honestly I was more close to my mother than anything else and since 2004 I haven't been the same since. That part of my heart has been left empty and hurting since and I don't want to mean to be nasty but when my father does pass away I want to be able to go to my mum and say why? I do love my dad but he made my life impossible. I'm also wondering if my dad had a hard up bring with his dad? Anyway thank you for listening

lemonadetears is grieving the loss of yourself a thing or am I crazy?
  • replies: 2

years ago I almost died but I dont feel like I'm the same person after it. there's so many better things about who I am now and I like myself way more... but I also kind of mourn the loss of the person I was. it's as if I lost my innocence, lost my f... View more

years ago I almost died but I dont feel like I'm the same person after it. there's so many better things about who I am now and I like myself way more... but I also kind of mourn the loss of the person I was. it's as if I lost my innocence, lost my faith in myself and lost that person I used to be. to cope, I even changed my name as it helped recognise the person I am now rather than being seen as the person I used to be, but there's also just some sadness and grief that comes with having almost entirely detached from who you used to be in the span of what, a couple hours? there's so many things from my old self that have continued on, but these things aren't good, such as unresolved traumas and unresolved insecurities. I'm trying to work on it, but idk, I almost feel like I'm broken for mourning... the person I used to be? is grieving the loss of yourself a thing or am I mad?

Bronwynne A new normal
  • replies: 4

My husband suicided almost a year ago in February on our daughters 14th birthday in her bedroom My daughter attempted suicide in July last year I am struggling with a lot of emotions, my daughter says she hates me, hardly calls me Mum anymore, just u... View more

My husband suicided almost a year ago in February on our daughters 14th birthday in her bedroom My daughter attempted suicide in July last year I am struggling with a lot of emotions, my daughter says she hates me, hardly calls me Mum anymore, just uses my first name, says she wishes I was dead and blames me for her complex ptsd which I have also been diagnosed with I have no family here they are all interstate I feel all alone have no close friends I can talk to just feel so lost and alone Xmas last year was so hard with it just being my daughter and myself I don't want a repeat of that

Lost_puppy Gone not forgotten
  • replies: 1

Once apon a time there was a little girl from a poor family she had an older brother mum & dad. Mum was mentally ill & didn't really like her daughter, dad was a drunk at times & a brute who was not scared to beat on the mother... mum would turn a bl... View more

Once apon a time there was a little girl from a poor family she had an older brother mum & dad. Mum was mentally ill & didn't really like her daughter, dad was a drunk at times & a brute who was not scared to beat on the mother... mum would turn a blind eye & a family FRIEND SA'd the little girl a few times ...she grew up having many struggles to overcome alone until her first baby born didn't make it ...she was never the same after that day...broken homeless & alone again she met a boy & thier family took her in .. she had a child to him gorgeous & much loved daughter but after a few years the relationship ended & sadly the grandmothers took that young girl of her. I was stricken with grief again & in a new relationship with a alcoholic narcissist, she fought hard for her daughter back but that took 2 years . She wasn't a bad mother didn't do drugs or drink & had abundance of love to give... years passed & 2 more girls. She had her 3 girls & a terribly abusive relationship finally it ended but with parental alienation he took one of those girls. I was malnutrished & broken again not long after my eldest girl went back to live with one eyed grandmother who loved the girl but hated her own daughter...then after years of recovering mu remaining daughter & I had wonderful years together all the while trying to get her other daughters back as 1 loving family .she had 1 last child ...after getting allot older & still single & much soul searching couldn't bring herself to end the pregnancy a magnificent baby boy came & she was for the first time the best version of herself...she recently left the peaceful place she lived to return back to the country where her other daughters were living believing if she could just be closer to them they all could spend time with each other... & we do & all my children feel more loved than ever & they love me back .perfect... but the rest of the family are still the same vindictive people & im struggling with that, & I'm suffering anxiety & missing my peacefully home & wish one day to return but knowing my other kids will not go there ...

Tessa_Bella_Ghost Just sad
  • replies: 1

My husband passed away 2 1/2 years ago and my 2 sons recently moved into their own townhouse. I have a dog who is keeping me distracted and is great company. It's not the same though. I miss that 1 person that always has your back. That 1 person that... View more

My husband passed away 2 1/2 years ago and my 2 sons recently moved into their own townhouse. I have a dog who is keeping me distracted and is great company. It's not the same though. I miss that 1 person that always has your back. That 1 person that is always ready to hear you talk about your day or offload, without judgement. I hate going out with friends because they are all a couple and I am the 3rd wheel. They are good support but it's just not the same. I know this is my new normal but I'm not coping too well with it. My emotions are just simmering under the surface and I cry at the drop of a hat. I'm showing people what they want to see, that I am strong and doing ok. Most of the time I am, but just recently I have struggled. I found Christmas particular hard as it is such a big family time and brought back the realisation that I am alone. I want to see the positives in life, but at the moment I just cannot. I am picking at things that don't usually bother me and I'm talking to myself in such a negative way. I know there are many many people in the same situation and I am a lucky one really; there's always someone else doing it tougher. I have a lovely home and a good job, am surrounded by nice people at work but often don't want to go home to that lonely routine. I'm sure I will feel better tomorrow, and that I'm just having a down day. Everyone feels sad sometimes.

Fiatlux August is the Month of Grief for me
  • replies: 8

August is such an awful month for me, just filled with grief. I lost some of the most wonderful people during the month of August. Last Friday I sat quietly and grieved the loss of a wonderful, beautiful man. It's been 3 years but that pain hasn't su... View more

August is such an awful month for me, just filled with grief. I lost some of the most wonderful people during the month of August. Last Friday I sat quietly and grieved the loss of a wonderful, beautiful man. It's been 3 years but that pain hasn't subsided nor has he left my thoughts. Pretty soon the anniversary of the loss of my father will come around, its been 11 years but I wish he was here now. This morning the news of others who have passed, brings it all back. I suppose I just want someone, everyone to know that I am still thinking of them, daily!

little_flannel Grief a few months after loss
  • replies: 2

So I lose my Nan April this year and the last time I saw her she was in the hospital bed non responsive and so I never got to say goodbye I didn’t cry at the time as wanted to be strong for my sister and mum however I have since moved to an isolated ... View more

So I lose my Nan April this year and the last time I saw her she was in the hospital bed non responsive and so I never got to say goodbye I didn’t cry at the time as wanted to be strong for my sister and mum however I have since moved to an isolated town and with all my spare time the grief has caught up and I keep having flashbacks to that last day with her I miss her and need help to dealing with this grief

Abbey23- guilt ridden because of suicide
  • replies: 1

hi. Im really struggling to get past the guilt of my ex husband taking his life because i didnt want to go back to him. we were married for 28 years and together for 31. I left him in early July this year after almost 2 years of wanting to. It took m... View more

hi. Im really struggling to get past the guilt of my ex husband taking his life because i didnt want to go back to him. we were married for 28 years and together for 31. I left him in early July this year after almost 2 years of wanting to. It took me so long to leave him because I knew that he would take it really hard. Our marriage was wonderful and we had 26 or so really great years together, but i simply fell out of love with him. I decided early August that I wasnt going back to him and not even 12 hours after i told him of my plans was when he took his life. He was a functioning alcoholic but he worked hard for us his whole life right up until the day he died. He was a great man, husband, father and grandfather. we were good friends right up until the end. The guilt that is running through me is soul destroying and I know it wasnt my fault but that really means nothing to me when people tell me that. At the time of his passing, I felt like everyone around me, including our kids blamed me and i just cant get past it.

nicmor78 Loss of mother
  • replies: 5

Hi there, this week we buried my beautiful mother after a two year well fought battle with cancer. While it’s only been 10 days since her passing, I thought I was doing ok. I’m trying to put up a front of being ok, but in private I’m very much not ok... View more

Hi there, this week we buried my beautiful mother after a two year well fought battle with cancer. While it’s only been 10 days since her passing, I thought I was doing ok. I’m trying to put up a front of being ok, but in private I’m very much not ok.The thought of celebrating Christmas fills me with dread. I don’t want to ruin Christmas for my family, however I feel like I just want to crawl into a hole and come out some time next year. Christmas Day is supposed to be with my husbands family this year, but I desperately want to be with my family - is that selfish? I feel like they are the only ones that understand how I feel at the moment.I would appreciate hearing from anyone who has experienced similar - it really is a challenging time losing someone so close this time of year, when everyone else is looking forward to the holidays and I just feel empty and numb.

MummaMel94 Neighbour issues and my emotions and long time grieving
  • replies: 3

Over the past few months, My neighbours have been a bit off a problem unfortunately, But than comes all my emotions, anger, hate towards someone who doesn't like us, purely for existing and doing things our way, And not hers... I'm a delayed griever ... View more

Over the past few months, My neighbours have been a bit off a problem unfortunately, But than comes all my emotions, anger, hate towards someone who doesn't like us, purely for existing and doing things our way, And not hers... I'm a delayed griever , So it takes me a few days after the funeral and such for me to actually kick in my emotions, But i can never be happy around the 12th of Dec each year. 12-12-2012, Was supposed to be a lucky and special time for most if not all, But unfortunately that wasn't the case for my family, You see, I lost the closest thing to a father to me, whom was my uncle, and a few days prior, a very very close family friend passed away to, But we got the news around the same time, that morning, Every year, without fail, I start crying and i turn into the Grinch, which i absolutely hate, As i have kids, And i hate being this way, I hate Christmas, All because someone who was more off a father figure to me, Departed from earth, 11 year's ago. I don't want to be this way, i used to like Christmas and such, Now im just miserable as , And just want Dec to be over and done with... I miss my uncle, the lady i called Aunty, My 2 lots off grandparents, and even my best friend that passed away the same year in 2012, was the family dog, off 16 years, Life just seems meaningless, I also miss the Nana that adopted my family, dad and so forth... She was such a lovely woman, her hugs we're the best. Sorry,. I just need to get this off my chest, I have no family anymore to talk to, and i feel all alone when it comes to trying to talk about how i feel like i can't cope. i know i need help, and ive tried getting that help multiple times, But no one wants to help me... Than homelessness came and made life even more off a struggle. Im a failure and i can't keep my emotions in anymore, and the neighbour that hates us, isn't helping with my emotional imbalance lately either