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Grief and loss

Support and advice following the loss of a family member, partner, spouse or someone close to you.

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Sophie_M Welcome to the Grief and Loss section
  • replies: 27

Everyone’s experience of grief or loss is unique. You might experience all kinds of difficult or overwhelming emotions, and you might sometimes wonder if the sadness will ever end. This is a normal reaction to loss. There is no right or wrong way to ... View more

Everyone’s experience of grief or loss is unique. You might experience all kinds of difficult or overwhelming emotions, and you might sometimes wonder if the sadness will ever end. This is a normal reaction to loss. There is no right or wrong way to grieve, but it can help to allow yourself to: share your grief, and let others support you. This forum category is for all discussions relating to how grief and loss has affected you, providing a space for you to express your feelings, discuss difficult moments and anniversaries, and honour the memories of your lost loved ones. Please be aware that threads in this forum may contain discussions of self-harm and suicide.

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Mumsgirl Lost my mum to cancer
  • replies: 4

Has anyone lost a parent to cancer and can please tell me how to cope with the unrelenting sadness and regret? I am seriously struggling with my day to day life and I feel like my kids are missing out because I just can't stop crying and I get irrita... View more

Has anyone lost a parent to cancer and can please tell me how to cope with the unrelenting sadness and regret? I am seriously struggling with my day to day life and I feel like my kids are missing out because I just can't stop crying and I get irritated so easily. My mum passed just over 5 months ago now and everyday it just get harder. I don't have have a partner, the kids dads not in the picture and not much support or other family and there's about a 3month wait for my first counciling intake appointment so im just trying to find ways to cope in the meantime if anyone has ideas?

A_lost_soul I’m drowning and I don’t know which way is up
  • replies: 2

I have complex PTSD, anxiety disorder, ADD, treatment resistant depression, etc; and the one person I relied on the most who I saw multiple times a week for 14 years, is gone forever. Adding complex grief to my never ending list of problems. I feel l... View more

I have complex PTSD, anxiety disorder, ADD, treatment resistant depression, etc; and the one person I relied on the most who I saw multiple times a week for 14 years, is gone forever. Adding complex grief to my never ending list of problems. I feel like I can’t survive. I feel like I’m so alone in this world. I need something drastic to happen or I won’t survive. But I don’t know what to do

ronnie1 Lost grandson
  • replies: 4

Hi, I lost my 5 year old grandson in April, I can’t explain how devastated our family is and I am struggling to deal with it.I have tried just about everything and nothing seems to be helping,sometimes I feel I’m getting worst. I find it hard to do a... View more

Hi, I lost my 5 year old grandson in April, I can’t explain how devastated our family is and I am struggling to deal with it.I have tried just about everything and nothing seems to be helping,sometimes I feel I’m getting worst. I find it hard to do anything I used to do, I don’t know maybe it’s guilt or maybe it’s because it reminds me when things were better. The only thing that keeps me going is not wanting anyone else to have to suffer although sometimes I feel like it’s just all too overwhelming .I don’t want to feel like this for ever but I’m really struggling to let go. I have lost older people in my life before,but to loose a young family member just tears your heart out.Is anyone else going or been through the the loss of a child ?

Joanne_77 My Spouse of 26 years passed away suddenly
  • replies: 3

HiI'm new here and l have never had any sort of counselling or therapy so lm unsure what benefits l could get by seeking those services, so l found this site and lm hoping l can find people who have experienced the same sort of grief l am unfortunate... View more

HiI'm new here and l have never had any sort of counselling or therapy so lm unsure what benefits l could get by seeking those services, so l found this site and lm hoping l can find people who have experienced the same sort of grief l am unfortunately going through. I lost my partner on 8th March, 2 weeks before his 50th Bday. He went to hospital 8th Feb with a sore tooth but was given a diagnosis of stage 4 lung cancer spread to the brain. In the end it was blood clots that spread to major arteries that took him from us. We have 2 boys, 12 & 14.I have been in pilot mode since and the tears are flowing daily at particular times of the day with an intense empty feeling in my stomach. I just can't see how l will ever be as happy as l once was. Has anyone else been through the grief of losing their spouse, if so l would love to hear how you coped, if you have found happiness again and how long does this feeling stay for. Thankyou

Princess Tilly Passing of my cat today
  • replies: 3

I had to have my 17 year old cat put down at the vets this morning. It's the first time since late 2003 that I haven't had an animal in the house and my daughter moved many years ago. It's not the first time I've said goodbye to a beloved pet but thi... View more

I had to have my 17 year old cat put down at the vets this morning. It's the first time since late 2003 that I haven't had an animal in the house and my daughter moved many years ago. It's not the first time I've said goodbye to a beloved pet but this is the first time that I'm completely alone in the house. It's just devastating as it felt like Princess Tilly would go on forever. I know things will get better with time but at the moment it's very difficult especially when I realise how much "stuff" the cat had. I've put away her food bowls but I haven't had the heart to move her scratching post, toy box and water bowls as I think at the moment their absence might be too difficult for me - in a way I "kid myself" that she's still there somewhere in the house. I know with the loss of other pets that with time I'll know when I'm ready to put them away.

anxiatee Losing a friend and taking time off work
  • replies: 4

Hi all, I haven’t posted here before. I recently lost one of my closest friends to suicide over the Labour Day weekend. Since then I’ve been taking time on and off work due to extreme anxiety from the event. Which I feel so guilty for. I’ve been in c... View more

Hi all, I haven’t posted here before. I recently lost one of my closest friends to suicide over the Labour Day weekend. Since then I’ve been taking time on and off work due to extreme anxiety from the event. Which I feel so guilty for. I’ve been in contact with my HR and theyve been great about it but recently my grief and anxiety has been overwhelming to the point where I feel I need some more time off. How did others get through this? I don’t want my work to think I’m not a good worker and I’m scared I’ll lose my job even though they’ve been so fantastic. I just feel like im all over the place. I come back to work and say “oh im fine now” then the next day have a mental breakdown and will have to take the day off. It’s so inconsistent and I just don’t know what else to do. I’ve got an appointment with my doctor tomorrow to discuss what the best option is but it’s been a month now since it all happened and I still feel the same

Birdie89 I Dont understand
  • replies: 1

I feel like I cannot breath. Almost 2 weeks ago my house was raided and my husband was arrested.Nothing was found in my house.I dont understand what is happening.He did a favour for a long term friend and this stupid favour has cost us everything.I d... View more

I feel like I cannot breath. Almost 2 weeks ago my house was raided and my husband was arrested.Nothing was found in my house.I dont understand what is happening.He did a favour for a long term friend and this stupid favour has cost us everything.I dont know what he was thinking or why he would of thought it would be a good idea. Now I have a 5 year old and a 2 year old that are asking for daddy all day. I am absolutley broken to the point that I don't want to get out of bed but I know I have to. 2 weeks ago I was in a blissfully happy marriage with 2 beautiful little girls and now I am alone. Everyone keeps telling me to get made and hate him for putting us through this but all I can think about is that my husband of 10 years is in jail and he isn't coming home for what will probably be a very very long time. I just want him home. I am scared for him and I am scared for us. I just wish I could shut it all off.

imissingyou Mum why did you have to leave
  • replies: 4

I’m 17 years old and my mum died three days ago. It was totally unexpected, she was in perfect health, fit and energetic she was. When do you finally believe it’s real and not a joke? When do you stop feeling an ache in your chest that feels constric... View more

I’m 17 years old and my mum died three days ago. It was totally unexpected, she was in perfect health, fit and energetic she was. When do you finally believe it’s real and not a joke? When do you stop feeling an ache in your chest that feels constricting and painful? will it ever go away… I read things and it says it will but I don’t know how. Everything is so wrong and unfair.mum why did you have to leave

Troubledtimes I lost babies and now jealous of may partner's relationship with his kids
  • replies: 5

My partner and I lost 3 babies together. I met him later in life and wanted the dream with him. Marriage and kids, the whole package. We managed to get pregnant 3 times in my 40s but lost each one very early on before 6 weeks. I have now entered the ... View more

My partner and I lost 3 babies together. I met him later in life and wanted the dream with him. Marriage and kids, the whole package. We managed to get pregnant 3 times in my 40s but lost each one very early on before 6 weeks. I have now entered the peri menopause stage and unable to get pregnant naturally anymore. He has 3 children from a previous relationship whom I have to witness him loving upon them and I cant help but get jealous and compare how much he would have been a wonderful dad to our child. I am so sad and full of grief from the losses which he understands but the jealousy and resent toward him parenting his other children is driving a wedge between us and our relationship is suffering. He can't talk about his children with love because it will trigger me into a meltdown of grief all over again. So he feels he has to hide his affection for them and walk on egg shells around me. I know it's all my fault but don't know how to change it because the jealousy comes from a place of extreme bitter pain and disappointment about our own family dreams not coming true which I just can't move on from. I don't know if there is any hope for our relationship or not. He has not spoken to me in 3 days and I don't know if he has decided he has had enough of this.

daisybelleflowers My Nephew was lost to suicide this week and I am trying my best to look after my sister and her fam
  • replies: 3

My beautiful nephew took his life this week and has left his family up in arms because he showed no signs … his parents didn’t see anything…. His best mates didn’t see anything…. He looked after others above himself and was always the life of the par... View more

My beautiful nephew took his life this week and has left his family up in arms because he showed no signs … his parents didn’t see anything…. His best mates didn’t see anything…. He looked after others above himself and was always the life of the party or fooling around with family? Unfortunately I have not been around him much for the past 10years … he was 18… but from what everyone has been discussing this week since we lost him on Tuesday… no one had any idea