Grief and loss

Support and advice following the loss of a family member, partner, spouse or someone close to you.

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Sophie_M Welcome to the Grief and Loss section
  • replies: 27

Everyone’s experience of grief or loss is unique. You might experience all kinds of difficult or overwhelming emotions, and you might sometimes wonder if the sadness will ever end. This is a normal reaction to loss. There is no right or wrong way to ... View more

Everyone’s experience of grief or loss is unique. You might experience all kinds of difficult or overwhelming emotions, and you might sometimes wonder if the sadness will ever end. This is a normal reaction to loss. There is no right or wrong way to grieve, but it can help to allow yourself to: share your grief, and let others support you. This forum category is for all discussions relating to how grief and loss has affected you, providing a space for you to express your feelings, discuss difficult moments and anniversaries, and honour the memories of your lost loved ones. Please be aware that threads in this forum may contain discussions of self-harm and suicide.

All discussions

Mycompassion Hi
  • replies: 1

HiI have lived with my husband having cancer and passing away 10 months later. We have 2 children. We lived in Melbourne and this all happened in 2020 with Covid as well. It was tough to say the least. As a family we decided to move to Brisbane (sadl... View more

HiI have lived with my husband having cancer and passing away 10 months later. We have 2 children. We lived in Melbourne and this all happened in 2020 with Covid as well. It was tough to say the least. As a family we decided to move to Brisbane (sadly he died before the move) I have had moderate depression 3 times in live and because of this I am now on medication (mild dose) because covid and cancer was to much for me to handle. Now being a widow with 12 and 14 year old kids I am better but of course it is a journey. Love and kindness to you xx

E_ Self-employed but unable to work
  • replies: 4

I am self-employed and don't have a lot of savings. I experienced a great personal loss last weekend and since then I have cancelled all of my work because I haven't been able to get out of bed. I have had horrible things happen to me before but this... View more

I am self-employed and don't have a lot of savings. I experienced a great personal loss last weekend and since then I have cancelled all of my work because I haven't been able to get out of bed. I have had horrible things happen to me before but this is the most pain I've ever felt and I don't see a way out. I will have $0 coming in this week. I plan to force myself to go back to work on Monday but I can't stand the thought of working with my clients. It's been 5 days and I can barely get out of bed to go to bathroom let alone go to work and act normal. I just cry and sleep all day. I'm worried I'm going to lose my clients respect, my business and my income. I'm single and I don't have any family. There is no one I can get money from and I don't think my clients would like seeing someone else. I don't know what to do about money. I couldn't even get into see a therapist until 9 days after the event. I will be back at work before seeing them. I feel like I can't stop thinking about everything I've lost and it's making everything worse. I've tried searching online but I really don't think there is any help for a self employed person going through a mental health crisis alone. I'm scared I won't even he able to pay a therapist to talk to me.

Sunshine15 Anxious and grieving
  • replies: 1

Hi, first time posting. I lost my dad to cancer in July 2021. Ever since this happened i feel sad at random times and could just cry. Anxiety is also a new thing in my life since his passing. My anxiety is effecting my day to day life including my wo... View more

Hi, first time posting. I lost my dad to cancer in July 2021. Ever since this happened i feel sad at random times and could just cry. Anxiety is also a new thing in my life since his passing. My anxiety is effecting my day to day life including my work as a Nurse. Very low self esteem and doubting myself. Struggling and have been awake most of the night

MissJ94 Hopes and dreams all being crushed
  • replies: 1

How do you deal with ALL your dreams and goals being crushed? Feel like im grieving the life ive always wanted.- As a teen i wanted to be a flight attendant because i loved travelling and flying. Then i got pregnant at 16, had my son at 17. There was... View more

How do you deal with ALL your dreams and goals being crushed? Feel like im grieving the life ive always wanted.- As a teen i wanted to be a flight attendant because i loved travelling and flying. Then i got pregnant at 16, had my son at 17. There was no way i could be a flight attendant and a mum at the same time. - I dreamed of having a nuclear family. I grew up with my father out of the picture and only coming around maybe a handful of times that i remember. When i found out my sister was actually my half sister, that ruined me. I wanted to have kids to only one person and at the time that was my sons father. My sons father never stepped up to be a dad or partner, refused to study or work, he was 2 years older than me. So i kicked him out. - I dreamed of owning my own home. That will never happen as a single mum, the most i could borrow is just over 300k, cant buy a house with that. Cant but anything with that. Only way i would ever be able to buy is if i found a husband who could put up with me and my broken soul or if i won the lotto. See, impossible. - I dreamed of being a midwife as i loved being pregnant with my son, i still find the whole specialty absolutely fascinating. I finished my nursing degree and have ended up with PTSD from working in aged care, never got accepted for a hospital new grad so couldnt work in the hospitals without that hospital experience as an RN. Started bachelor of midwifery, the responsibility scared me to death so i quit half way through. Im not even working as a nurse anymore due to these intense fears i have of going back. - I dreamed of getting married some day, having a partner. That was crushed when i got back with an ex (not my sons father) and there was emotional/psychological and financial dv, came close to physical dv. Now the thought of dating again gives me mini panic attacks. I end up ghosting anyone that gets too close. The smallest thing i dont like, i ghost. I hate it. - I dreamed of having another child, at least one more seeing as my son is now 11. Thats now been crushed after getting my third negative result. Ive been doing IUI using donor sperm for the last 3 months. Ill now have to go on to IVF if i can afford it if i ever wish to have another baby. I truly feel like the whole world, the universe, is against me. None of my dreams have come true, they have all be crushed before my eyes and i just dont know what to do anymore. Anything i put my heart and mind towards gets crushed. I feel like i must have smashed 1000 mirrors in my past life to have such bad luck in this one.. just wish a miracle would happen for me for once.

AvocadoAva1 i cant really say it all in only this space
  • replies: 1

2021 my dad passed away from bowel cancer and it was really hard for me and ever since he has been gone i feel like i have really bad problems like everyone around me hates me my mum treats me like a maid in my eyes sometimes i dont know why but latl... View more

2021 my dad passed away from bowel cancer and it was really hard for me and ever since he has been gone i feel like i have really bad problems like everyone around me hates me my mum treats me like a maid in my eyes sometimes i dont know why but latley i have been very misbehaved and i want it to stop im dying inside and im so stressed about everything latley and i just need real help and i have found really bad guilt and i want myself to suffer

Craig Pickersgill Loss of a partner through Suicide
  • replies: 1

11 days ago, I lost my same sex partner through suicide. We didn’t live together and we had only been close for about 5 months, but those 5 months were awesome. (We had been friends for about 2 years) We had so many plans for the future; and even tal... View more

11 days ago, I lost my same sex partner through suicide. We didn’t live together and we had only been close for about 5 months, but those 5 months were awesome. (We had been friends for about 2 years) We had so many plans for the future; and even talking about them on the weekend before when I was visiting him… less than 12 hours later he was gone… no note, no nothing. We are sure we know what/who tipped him over the edge but it cant be proven. His family have been amazing even though I had never met them, his younger brother said to me “you’re family”. It’s been overwhelming The funeral is this week, but I’m afraid of what lay on the other side… Im positive I will stay in touch with the family but I feel so empty and i am sure I missed something… He had mental health issues, but it was only voices in his head… he was mostly on the level. I am just so lost even with all the love, friendship and support around me…

Nay88 Not coping.
  • replies: 1

my nan passed away Tuesday and I'm so extremely sad, I miss her terribly just don't think I will ever get over this.

my nan passed away Tuesday and I'm so extremely sad, I miss her terribly just don't think I will ever get over this.

Kezza2002 Unexpected loss of husband & not coping
  • replies: 5

I’m not sure if writing this will help but I’m not sure what else to do. My husband passed away from a heart attack in July aged 41. He had no underlying health issues. I barely made it through Father’s Day & my birthday. Everyone keeps saying how st... View more

I’m not sure if writing this will help but I’m not sure what else to do. My husband passed away from a heart attack in July aged 41. He had no underlying health issues. I barely made it through Father’s Day & my birthday. Everyone keeps saying how strong I am but I feel like I can barely breath. The world keeps turning & people are starting to get back into things but my world has stopped. We have a 6 year old who is low functioning Autistic who keeps pointing to pictures of Dad wondering where he is. I talk about him & try to explain as much as I can. I feel like I’m letting our child & my husband down. People keep telling me they don’t know how to help & I just say that being there is all I need. But they don’t want to be there because that involves seeing me upset, which some can’t handle. I feel responsible for his death because I couldn’t save him & I didn’t act fast enough. I’ve had some counselling where they talked about the stages of grief but I feel that wasn’t enough. I couldn’t give my husband a proper send off because of the restrictions & looking back I feel his family who I don’t get along with took advantage of me but dictating what had to happen at the funeral & by taking some of his ashes. I tried to accomodate everyone but I feel I didn’t honour my husband enough. I don’t understand why this had to happen & how I’m supposed to keep putting one foot in front of the other.

BC16 Sudden loss of my young sister
  • replies: 13

Hi, a Month ago my 22yo sister passed away suddenly. She was the healthiest happiest and kindest person and I don’t understand. No one can tell us why that is was just a sudden cardiac event. I can’t sleep, I can’t talk to anyone and I feel so guilt ... View more

Hi, a Month ago my 22yo sister passed away suddenly. She was the healthiest happiest and kindest person and I don’t understand. No one can tell us why that is was just a sudden cardiac event. I can’t sleep, I can’t talk to anyone and I feel so guilt that I couldn’t protect her. My wife wants me to open up but I don’t know how.

PD08 Recently lost my sister
  • replies: 1

Hi, About 2 month’s ago I lost my sister who was just 37yo out of the blue. To say that this has knocked me and my family is an understatement. She was healthy, happy and the loving mother for 3 children. We are still waiting to know why/what happene... View more

Hi, About 2 month’s ago I lost my sister who was just 37yo out of the blue. To say that this has knocked me and my family is an understatement. She was healthy, happy and the loving mother for 3 children. We are still waiting to know why/what happened other than it was just a sudden cardiac event. I struggled to sleep and talk to anyone about it, my first response is I’m fine. I moved abroad a few years ago and now feel so guilt that I lost time with her.