Help please - I am dying with grief

[PrincessE]

Please help, i am feeling so desperate, i just want to die and be with my baby

I lost my beautiful girl (Golden Retriever) 5 weeks ago, I have had her since she was 6 weeks old. I am not coping with this grief and trauma and shock and don’t know what to do 

I am scared of this becoming a deep and serious depression 

I just want to die and be with her, I cannot go on without her, she was my child that I just loved and adored as I don’t have children 

I cannot accept that she is gone and that I will never see her again 

I have nothing to live for without her, she was my whole world and I lived for her

i cannot Live in my house because I am expecting to see her there and the realisation just shocks me 

I survived divorce with her by my side.

I feel so traumatised and guilty that I had to make the decision as she was suffering 

I am not living without her, I am unable to get out of bed as have no motivation to go on, I am broken and devastated 

This grief and Trauma is unbearable and I cannot go on with this pain.

I have nothing to go on for if I can never see her beautiful face again

She was my best friend and my constant companion and I relied on her for my emotional support

I am awake all night worrying and crying and nauseous with anxiety 

I don’t know what to do to try and recover but I feel guilty for having a life when I took her life away from her.

[geoff]

Hello PrincessE, all your thoughts are truly justified as I had exactly the same thoughts when I had to put my Jack Russell down, who I'd had for 18 years as she had cancer, and although I had another JR I couldn't spend my time with her as the two of them played together, however slowly this changed as she knew something was wrong.

People say 'go and get another dog', but it's not as simple as that, because how you feel isn't ready to accept one, but over time I know this gradually changes, especially if someone gives you a puppy.

Now you are entitled to grieve as your best friend isn't there anymore.

I hope you have photos of her on the wall, just as I do, but give yourself time to remember her and by what happened it stopped the pain she may have been going through but couldn't tell you, only by various behaviours.

My dog still licked me as I took her into the vet, so their love will remain with you.

Geoff.

Life Member.

[Fern42]

Hi PrincessE

I am so sorry to hear that you have lost your beautiful girl. It can be absolutely heartbreaking and life shattering to lose a pet, I absolutely hear and understand you. I can also feel by this message just how big of an impact she made on your life. I believe that griefline services would be perfect for you to reach out to if you are open to it. They are so supportive and great for talking through what you're going through right now and please keep in mind it is also a free service! 1300845745

[DogMumma]

I feel very similarly to you. I lost my Golden Retriever 3 months ago and it’s unbearable. The pain is so so great. Not many people understand the depth of love I feel for her and therefore the depth of grief I have in losing her. I just want to be with her again. My other Golden is suffering too which is additionally heartbreaking, but I have to somehow keep going to look after her. If it wasn’t for this, I’m not sure how I would continue. So, I wanted to say, I have some understanding of what you are going through, and I’m not going to say ‘it will be ok’, because it won’t, but if you need to chat to someone who ‘gets it’, just reach out. Take care and keep breathing. X