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Sophie_M Welcome to the Grief and Loss section
  • replies: 27

Everyone’s experience of grief or loss is unique. You might experience all kinds of difficult or overwhelming emotions, and you might sometimes wonder if the sadness will ever end. This is a normal reaction to loss. There is no right or wrong way to ... View more

Everyone’s experience of grief or loss is unique. You might experience all kinds of difficult or overwhelming emotions, and you might sometimes wonder if the sadness will ever end. This is a normal reaction to loss. There is no right or wrong way to grieve, but it can help to allow yourself to: share your grief, and let others support you. This forum category is for all discussions relating to how grief and loss has affected you, providing a space for you to express your feelings, discuss difficult moments and anniversaries, and honour the memories of your lost loved ones. Please be aware that threads in this forum may contain discussions of self-harm and suicide.

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Eagle Ray Complicated grief
  • replies: 11

Hi, I’m wondering how others have gone with complicated grief? I’m still struggling in particular with my Mum’s death. She came from an abusive childhood. Her mother committed suicide years later. She didn’t bond with me after a difficult birth. Both... View more

Hi, I’m wondering how others have gone with complicated grief? I’m still struggling in particular with my Mum’s death. She came from an abusive childhood. Her mother committed suicide years later. She didn’t bond with me after a difficult birth. Both my parents had complex trauma and not surprisingly I ended up with it. I became like Mum’s parent aged 5. Her brothers bullied her but she kept trying to love them in the hope of something in return. There’s too much to explain here, but she died utterly broken-hearted and I saw it happen as I cared for her through her physical and mental health decline, as I did for Dad who had a degenerative disease. In the same time period I lost 3 friends to suicide. I was also caring for another family member in breakdown. Sometimes I just feel so broken by everything now I don’t know what the point of my life is anymore. I fluctuate between hope and a feeling that is beyond exhaustion. I worked so hard to lift Mum to a better place and it was working for both her and me in that our relationship improved and there was hope. Then another family member became angry with her and she spiraled downwards. Then her heart failed. I felt like the obstacles we’d overcome in our relationship and the love and hope that gave was smashed to pieces. Just before that I was diagnosed with a ‘progressive’ autoimmune disease. I put that in quotes as I’m trying to defy the medical diagnosis with my own research and efforts to improve my health. But I’ve also probably lost the uni degree I was trying to finish and can give nothing more to it. I’ve had to fight my way back from nothing several times as a result of health issues including extreme chronic pain over years at a time, where I’ve had to stop work, lose all my savings and then start again from zero. I’ve fought my way back from every crisis, reinvented my life to work and function again, but feel like I can’t keep lifting myself up now. Just totally lost at the moment. I have some kind friends and extended family members and a good psychologist. I’m normally a glass half full optimist, but feel things are on top of me. I feel like grief is beating me despite my best efforts to heal. Sorry ranting now, but lost. Just feeling really down tonight

Clues_Of_Blue My angel is gone
  • replies: 36

Those of you who know me know that my two little birds and my partner are my world. My partner had a heart and lung transplant two years ago. His body is now rejecting those lungs and they have thrown every treatment at it they can, to no avail. His ... View more

Those of you who know me know that my two little birds and my partner are my world. My partner had a heart and lung transplant two years ago. His body is now rejecting those lungs and they have thrown every treatment at it they can, to no avail. His health is in steady decline, the lungs severely damaged. In all likelihood he will need another transplant. There is no guarantee of finding a suitable donor in time. We don't know how this will play out, how long he has left. That is cause enough for grief. Throughout the many hospital stays this year, there have been a few scares and vet trips for our first-born little bird, Sir Pecks (not his real name). It took so long for them to even identify why he was unwell. His liver had become very enlarged and was causing him great discomfort. He was so sleepy all the time, was frantic about eating, he barely sang or preened any more. He was struggling to breathe. Our sweet, happy little bird, our child, who loved to sing at the top of his lungs right in our ears, who loved to play and bathe and pinch bits of our breakfast, is now gone. We feel so empty and lost and heartbroken to be without him. That in no way diminishes our love for his brother, of course, but our grief is so huge. It's hard to face each day, knowing he won't be there, screaming at us for attention and getting into everything. I miss him so much, and I am scared for my partner. I feel like my family is crumbling and I have no power to do anything about it. How do you live with grief like this?

KannF Feeling lost
  • replies: 1

Hello all so I’m a little confused, please help? my partner and I have been together for nearly and a year now and we have been fighting a lot more regularly mainly over my co dependency & then we fight about not being able to see eye to eye. Then it... View more

Hello all so I’m a little confused, please help? my partner and I have been together for nearly and a year now and we have been fighting a lot more regularly mainly over my co dependency & then we fight about not being able to see eye to eye. Then it goes on and on and on……. I also find his constantly making stupid remarks not just to me but his mother and sister too. Then I tell him his being annoying but then he say’s I’m rude for saying that his being annoying? Whenever i mention his words hurt my feeling’s it’s almost like he makes me feel like I shouldn’t have any feeling’s towards how he makes me feel or what he does with his life? Like am I going insane guys? i dunno he doesn’t seem to take responsibility for anything his words, his actions, his choices, something bad happen’s to him & his straight away loosing it. At the start he said to me “your lucky to be with me you just snuck in” like WT is that? How did we end up together if he didn’t want a relationship at the start.? It’s like he made it out like I got myself into this relationship not him.? If his not arguing with his mother it’s me if it’s not me his fighting with life it’s just consistent & I feel like I’m shutting down like I just don’t wanna talk anymore I mean what’s the point?

mobius It doesn't feel real.
  • replies: 3

Hey guys. My father just passed away, and I feel empty. I feel like this is some bad dream that I will wake up from. I am 42 but after a long period of addiction, I got clean and re-connected with my family and friends, but I still feel like a child ... View more

Hey guys. My father just passed away, and I feel empty. I feel like this is some bad dream that I will wake up from. I am 42 but after a long period of addiction, I got clean and re-connected with my family and friends, but I still feel like a child sometimes. This means the passing of Dad has had a profound effect on me. I doesn't seem real, and I don't know what to do to make sense of it. I have picked up more meetings and they are helping, but when is this going to hit? When is it going to make sense so I can process it?

MoliMum There Goes My Everything!
  • replies: 1

Hi all, i just want to start this post off with this...... I know this forum is more for younger gen and i just want to say to you beautiful people.... Thank you for being you! Thank you for being here, thank you for giving this world the amazing gif... View more

Hi all, i just want to start this post off with this...... I know this forum is more for younger gen and i just want to say to you beautiful people.... Thank you for being you! Thank you for being here, thank you for giving this world the amazing gift of YOU. You are here going through your own life struggles no matter what they are, always know you are brilliant, you are amazing, you are so very very special in so many unique ways. Do not let anyone tell you otherwise. Ok well hi all, obviously i am new and this is my first post about loss. Loss of My Love, My Life, My Everything.I had a major loss in march this year my furbaby daughter and i am certainly not traveling well at all. I know i should be as i am 50yrs old for petes sake. But the love of my life, my soul mate my reason for living passed while i was cuddling her and i just can not make things right in my world. I am so done with life, people, circumstances, the world, absolutely everything. I get up and do life because i have to, we all have to. Doesn't make it right or easier or great or good or even so-so, it just is. I honestly could go on and on about how i feel and think now but i would bore you to tears and end up in them myself. So suffice to say i do life because my one wish to have a heart attack, die and be with my girl is not being granted. That sh*ts me to tears. Sorry for the whinge but good to just say it. Thank you.

KannF Depressions
  • replies: 5

So I’m struggling with depression/anxiety I’ve been on antidepressants for quite sometime now. (I’m not even sure they work) i lost my father to suicide and my mother from a seizure.My father’s side of the family haven’t spoken to me since and it’s b... View more

So I’m struggling with depression/anxiety I’ve been on antidepressants for quite sometime now. (I’m not even sure they work) i lost my father to suicide and my mother from a seizure.My father’s side of the family haven’t spoken to me since and it’s been nearly 4 years since my father’s passing. I’m still so young but I feel so different from everyone around me.I constantly feel so alone in this world and lost like no one understands how hard it is to just “keep yourself busy” doing so doesn’t change anything I’m just either extremely depressed or cranky.. & I don’t enjoy anything anymore..

Jess40 New community member
  • replies: 4

Hello there. I'm new in here. I suffer from anxiety and depression and it got to the point where I can't work. I am struggling to leave the house, have constant negative thoughts and feel very lost. I've been going through a lot for the past 2 years.... View more

Hello there. I'm new in here. I suffer from anxiety and depression and it got to the point where I can't work. I am struggling to leave the house, have constant negative thoughts and feel very lost. I've been going through a lot for the past 2 years. One of my children has a medical condition that worries the hell out of me, my mother past away in 2021 and I couldn't make for the funeral due to travelling restrictions (Covid), I have a terrible relationship with my overseas family and my marriage is been on the rocks for a while now. I quit my job cause I couldn't cope dealing with people in general and I feel like my life is finished. I wish I could go to sleep and never wake up again. It is just too hard.

Plummy Losing My Husband of 50years
  • replies: 4

I lost my darling husband to a Rapid Degenerative Alzheimers in October 2020. He went from an active smart busy man to dying within 18 months. He was diagnosed as having some form of dementia or Parkinson’s, after numerous tests and visits to doctors... View more

I lost my darling husband to a Rapid Degenerative Alzheimers in October 2020. He went from an active smart busy man to dying within 18 months. He was diagnosed as having some form of dementia or Parkinson’s, after numerous tests and visits to doctors and specialists, (who could not find any reason or clinical issue to cause his symptoms), in May 2019 and after him deteriorating day by day, was admitted to a nursing home on Christmas Eve 2019 as I could not longer care for him or get him out of bed. The last 4 months of his life were devastating with him no longer knowing his family, only being able take liquids and slowly fading away. We as a family made the decision to not have a feeding tube implemented thinking he would pass within a few days. Unfortunately he didn’t pass for three weeks which was the most traumatic time of my life. I moved into the nursing home for the last 6 weeks of his life and slept beside him in a recliner chair holding his hand. For the last two days of his life I lay beside him in his bed cuddling him and holding his hand until he took his last breath. He was gasping for breath for the two days before he died. I feel I was traumatised by his death… just feel so alone since he passed away.

shorti Still grieving my mum
  • replies: 2

I lost my mum 17 years ago and yesterday I got completely emotional wishing she was back. Earlier in the year I had my first baby. I just wish my mum could meet my baby. Yesterday I started to look at baby photos of mine to compare my daughter to mys... View more

I lost my mum 17 years ago and yesterday I got completely emotional wishing she was back. Earlier in the year I had my first baby. I just wish my mum could meet my baby. Yesterday I started to look at baby photos of mine to compare my daughter to myself at the same age and saw all the photos of mum holding me. All this brought back memories and is what made me upset. Mum would of loved to become a grandmother and I feel that I'm missing out on so much that she's not here. I just don't know how I'm going to move on.

bigfatpj I've lost everything
  • replies: 1

Hi my name is Paul and I'm 38 and 3 months ago the love of my life, my beautiful wife passed away from natural but undetermined causes my nice car broke down 8 months ago and the car I was borrowing lost its clutch so now I walk. My late wife's famil... View more

Hi my name is Paul and I'm 38 and 3 months ago the love of my life, my beautiful wife passed away from natural but undetermined causes my nice car broke down 8 months ago and the car I was borrowing lost its clutch so now I walk. My late wife's family excluded me from the viewing and cremation I feel like I've got no hope for the future and I'm struggling to keep going any more I'm not coping well barely eating or showering. I'm just miserable all the time I can fake it around people but it's exhaustive and I don't know what to do next. Anyone got some advice?