Pet cat dying

[Kat1234]

Hi. I'm at home sitting next to my beloved 17 year old cat who's quietly dying. She's been to the vet and everything that can be done for her has been done. I'm recently retired, don't have many friends and my only family member is my daughter, whom I've luckily been seeing more often recently. Since I'm fairly isolated (for many reasons...mostly to do with depression and anxiety I've been battling for a long time), my cat's illness and her imminent death are particularly heartbreaking for me.

My daughter also loves the cat (it was her favourite pet growing up) and I want to let her know how much pain I'm feeling today...but I also don't want to ruin some good news she and her partner received yesterday. She told me she's happy for me to reach out to her whenever I need to (and I have asked for her help with vet visits etc.), but I don't feel right doing so now...since she'll be in pain too when she should be enjoying good news. 

I know there are no answers: the cat is very old, I'm making sure she's comfortable and knows she's loved and death may be a kindness for her.

I just wanted to share with someone my sadness at losing a friend.

Kat. 

[mmMekitty]

Hello Kat1234

I understand it's such a difficult & lonely time when a cat you've loved for 17 years is ill & will soon die.

My own cat became ill, & I was shocked at how quickly her health had deteriorated one day, when overnight, at the vet's, she died. She was only 7 years old, & I still miss her. I think it's been 8 years - it's a memory problem that makes me unsure.

That's her in my profile picture.

It really shook me, so much more than losing people in my life, but that's another story..

The time you have with her now is so important.

Because you say your daughter has loved your cat since childhood, I think she would want to know, would want to come & 'say her goodbyes'. It's unfortunate this is so close to the good news of hers, but that's life. Things don't always happen when they ar convenient.

There will never be a good time for this.

Please feel free to talk here, as much & as often as you want.

Hugs

mmMekitty

[Kat1234]

Thanks, mmMekitty.

[Kat1234]

Hi again mmMekitty. 

I'm sorry for my very brief reply earlier. My cat was a bit better last night and I tried to spend as much time with her as I could.

I'm very sorry for the loss of your cat - I understand how such pain might become more bearable, but never goes away over the years.

I appreciate your advice about contacting my daughter. I will let her know because I realise it would be far worse for her if she doesn't have the chance to see our cat before she passes, than to have her good news "spoiled" a little. 

Thanks again for your kindness and support. 

Kat

[Guest_1055]

Hi there dear Kat

You sound like you really love your kitty. It is not an easy thing to say goodbye. Can you write down all the fun, special and beautiful times you had with your kitty. And maybe what they are like and that sort of thing.

I had a cat a while ago. A black one named Taomi. I had her from when she was a kitten. I bought her from the RSPCA. She was the smallest of all her brothers and sisters. And she sat at the back of the large fenced in pen all by herself. I instantly was drawn to her. She was so very sweet. She was my only friend at the time. She lived too to an old age in cat years. Maybe your one is still living but resting some at the moment. Sweet thing.

I think of my sweet little black kitty from time to time, like now. The loss of loosing her has gone, but I have all these memories of her now. Lovely memories and cute cat moments. I am thankful for her being my only friend at one time.

Not sure what else to say, but hoping you are ok there. But even if you are feeling sad ,think it is quite natural. Shows you have lots of love in your heart 

[sbella02]

Kat1234,

Thank you for your courage in sharing this personal story with us here, welcome. I shed a few tears reading your post, I'm so sorry that you're going through this. The loss of a pet is never easy.

I remember when I lost my childhood cat several years ago now, I don't think I stopped crying for days. She meant a lot to me and was a beautiful little companion in the roughest and best of times, so I can understand how you feel. Honestly, my best advice is to take as much time as you need to grieve in a way that feels most natural for you. Cry if you need to. Exercise and explore the world as you wish. Even if adopting another pet would help you through your grief, I'd encourage you to do what feels right. 

Tell your daughter when you feel it is right to as well. It shows a lot about you as a person that you want her to enjoy her happy news and not have to think about something upsetting, that's very noble of you. You may find that eventually, you'll need her beside you to grieve as well, but this doesn't have to come right away. I do agree with others in that she may want to spend more time with your beloved kitty while she is able to.

Take care, and know that we're here for you. SB

[Kat1234]

Thank you all for your very kind words and for sharing your own stories. It's very comforting.

My kitty is still hanging in there - she really wants to live, so I'll keep doing whatever I can to make her comfortable for however long she has. My daughter is coming to see her soon and that will be good for all three of us.

Thanks again.

Kat.

[sbella02]

I'm glad to hear that your daughter is also coming to see her, this is something that you'll both be able to grieve through together.

Wishing you all the love and comfort in the world.

SB

[Gizmo6]

Hi Kat,

I just wanted to say that I’m truly sorry for what you’re going through. I suddenly lost my cat when she was 13. She had been my one constant in my life since the day I got her, over years of drastic changes, trauma, relationship breakdowns, deaths, everything. She was the only one by my side through everything. So I understand how hard it is to lose a beloved pet who is your true family.

It’s been nearly 4 years for me and my heart still aches every single day for him. Especially when new difficult life events happen and I don’t have him with me for support. My mum sadly passed nearly 1 month ago now, and every day I wish I had my cat with me to help me get through it. Pets are so special, I’m so happy for you that you can cherish your last moments with her.

I’m sure your daughter really does mean it when she says she’s there for you, lean on her for support. No matter what is happening in life there’s always room to give love to those close to you when they need it and I’m sure that’s what she is saying to you, during good moments in her life or not.

Best wishes getting through this

[mmMekitty]

Hello Gizmo6, 

Please excuse me, Kat1234.

I want to say, to Gizmo6, how much your post has touched & moved me. It's lovely to hear how your cat has been such an important part of your life. I'm so sorry to hear of your loss of your cat & more recently, your mum.

It's beem several years more since I lost Mekitty, but still I miss her & how much comfort & strength I gained from having her in my life for the 7 years I had her. I cannot imagine how much more I could miss her, until I think, what if she had lived twice as long, into a natural old age, or if she had become ill then? That's a terrible place for my thoughts to wander, so, when they do, I focus my thoughts on the time I did have with her & the memories I have of the fun & the purring, & feeling her walk along my body to meow in my ear to wake me in the morning.

Thank you for your post. 

If you have made a thread where we can talk of your mum, your grief & loss, please, I would like to know what it is.

*

Kat1234, I am pleased your daughter is coming to see you & your cat.  I agree with sbella, that your daughter is sure to want to support you, & you can support her, to during the remainder of your cat's life, & into the future.

Hugzies everyone, (including cats & other furry friends)

mmMekitty