Losing a parent from Stage 4 lung cancer

Selgae · ‎24-02-2023

Dad’s became legally blind at mid age. He was devastated due to loss of mobility as a consequence. Then diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer at 86 that has spread to the left leg bones causing agonising pain that has left him unable to walk. Just 3 months after being diagnosed with cancer he’s had a stroke that left him with his left body paralysed. Hard to see a gentleman suffer with discomfort, pain, anxiety and depression for almost half his lifetime. It is affecting all members of the family including grandchildren due to his illness. Breaks my heart to hear him say “im tired”. Left me with anger and denial and embarrassment. Tried to show my family I’m fine when deep inside im not. I guess this is one way of getting it off my chest.

white knight · ‎25-02-2023

Hi, welcome

Sorry to hear of your dads situation. Venting is fine, we are here for you.

I have a dear couple that I've know all my life. When his wife had cancer, I rang him to support him. He said "what can you do". Those words allowed me to remove some of my fretting for her (she is a mother figure) and allow me some slack when it comes to grief. It means we all have limitations and thats fine, we are not super people that can relieve their pain and suffering. Your best is always good enough.

LITTLE JAR

Gather all your memories those close and those afar

write them down and put them in a jar

take them out and squeeze that note tight

Through his wishes , everything will be alright

Stroke his head and tell him of you care

keep telling his grandkids, that he is aware

read their little notes to him from close or afar

then return them with love, to that little jar...

TonyWK

Selgae · ‎25-02-2023

Thanks TonyWK, I appreciate your time spent in responding and sharing the little Jar. It does help to know that someone shows some sentiment even though we don’t know each other. Thank you.

Selgae · ‎13-03-2023

So Dad passed 4 weeks later. No regrets as we’ve spent quality time together with the family circle. Will yet to say our last farewell. No more pain and tears. He’s left behind good memories. Glad to see him pass comfortably in a hospice care. I guess tome will help heal from here on in.