I think my sister is dead

[zea]

sorry for information overload, i want somehwere to unload this, its been weighing me down.

i think my sister may be dead.

im a child of divorce, my mother had four kids, which i am the youngest one and i fear im the only one alive i dont have memories growing up with them becuase of my age, but we lived all toghether up until i was 4, they moved to a different country while i stayed in my home country with my mother

my brother had depression, and both of mysisters had muscular dystrophy

she stayed in contact with my siblings as best as she could all these years, she'd tell me to say hi and talk to them, i never understood why my sisters couldnt speak and my brother translated what they were trying to say, i thought he had magical pwoers that helped him understand their mumbles and groans

across a time period, my eldest sister stopped shwoing up, i never saw her in the calls anymore, i still dont know whtat happened, but i want to hope that shes not dead, maybe she's being cared for elsewhere
thenmy brother killed himself a few years ago, i wasnt meant to find out, it was an accident, coinicdence that that was the day my mom dropped me to school, it was terrifying to see my mom break down, i got traumatized by the experience of finding out he died
it was then just my older sister, we'd call her on my way to school and say hi, catch up on her health
her condition got worse, she couldnt even groan anymore, it stung seeing her lay immobile on the bed, they said her condition was getting a bit better though

and then it stopped, i never see my mom call that number anymore, she doesnt talk about her anymore
m not the most mentally stable person, is she not telling me because of that ? 

i want to ask but i dont know if i should, i dont want to make my momsad either, i love her so much and dont want her to be sad . im scared, and i dont know what to do.

[Croix]

Dear Zea~

I'd like to give you a warm welcome here at the Forum. I'm afraid life has given both you  and your mother a very hard time with the deaths of your brother and one sister and you are unsure about the other. On top of it all never getting together as your family split up when you were young.

Of course this has has a great life-changing effect upon you, but by the sound of it, despite your unwanted thoughts, I'd guess you are coping better than your mum, who looks at you and wonders. I guess it would be only natural to wonder if you were to become ill too.

Sadly your sisters had long term illnesses, and how they felt would have been very hard for them and those that loved them, and while you may not have been told about your elder sister I'd imagine you are already pretty sure.

Yes, to know for certain would set your mind at rest , however asking your mother might be giving her a very high price to pay to think your older sister and to answer you. Then again although she does not talk about her it might be a relief not to hide tihngs and be able to talk frankly. Sometime a trouble shared makes it easier.

I don't know your mum so you would be the best judge of her reaction. You are only young and to have this burden on you is unfair, frightening and very hard. Parents, well at least loving ones like your mum, want to ease the lives of their children.

I know I'm not being much help, I'm not recommending asking or not asking, just setting out a few thoughts. Your mum is lucky to have a young person that considers her welfare so much.

It may help to talk to the Kids Help Line, who can be a comfort, have great experience with the troubles young people have and can give good advice.

You would be welcome anytime if you would like to talk about this or any other things that trouble you

Croix

[zea]

thank you very much for the kind words, they mean a lot. i'll definately try reach out to the kids help line, thank you so so much for takign time to respond to this 😀

[Croix]

Dear Zea~

I'm glad that let you know there are others, and they can care. I think your decision to talk to the Kids Help Line will be a good experience, though you might have to wait on the line for a litle while as they are pretty popular.  If you do I suggest have something else to hand you can do, make a cup of tea or whatever, watch TV or do something else to occupy yourself, there is nothing wose than just waiting and probably worrying for someone to answer. 

Croix