Hi, welcome
I'm sorry for your loss. In 2021 I lost my school friend, we were both 66yo at the time. He was a self made multi millionaire in the outback. We caught up many times. The same year we lost 3 family members and 2023, 2 more, one 25yo to suicide, It was tough.
Grief is so unique to the person, individuals take short or long time to overcome and in some cases, like my loving dad that passed in 1992 at only 64yo, you never really get over it. So what can you do to relieve the pain of your loss seeing as you cant eliminate it?
For me it is writing poetry, for others writing it down, planting a rose bush in their honour, visiting a place you both went to and found - special. Search your mind but where ever or what ever it is use that as a place to visit to think only of the person you lost. This dedicated time helps to allow your mind to focus on present day life with less likely any interruption from grief.
I used to ask myself- what would my father think if he saw me upset now swallowed by grief? "well son, I'm no longer there to make the most of my life, but you have many years left, enjoy them, for my sake".
As for writing it doesnt need to be long or complex, eg-
DAD’S SMILE
An old porch chair where my dad once sat
A smoke in his hand and slippers on a mat
I remember when he’d laugh and smile at me
And I’d return the honor almost instantly
My thoughts are such now that dad has passed away
I glance at that empty chair each and every day
Sorrow fills my heart and in a way it’s sad
That I still look at that chair and still smile at my dad
But all’s not lost and I don’t waste my time
Cause I still see his face smiling just like mine
Yes in that old porch chair where my dad once sat
Is his smoke in his hands and slippers on a mat….
TonyWK
To my friend
A daydream over a ponder pie
Of what perfection could be
Then I began to draw
The perfection that I see
I drew hands of kindness
Palms of gentle gold
Hands that may embrace my own
When I grow old
I had to get the eyes right
And it took a lot of time
I visualized their compassion
When they locked on mine
Finally at drawings end
I was in total reflection
As far as friends go
mirror of perfection
Then I realized oh my,
As I shaded the sky of blue
That drawing of the perfect friend
Was a sketch of you...
TonyWK
What ever you choose it will take time. Intelligent humans havent got all the answers. I hope I've helped.
Reply anytime
TonyWK
