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Understanding death

white knight
Community Champion
Community Champion

We have many barriers in the grief process to leap over and that process is an individual journey. Religious beliefs, acceptance,  personality,  mental health, and so on all play their part in how long it takes us to recover... if we ever do. 

 

I've been following the videos (cassettes in the early days) of Prem Rawat "Maharaji" for over 30 years. This very insightful man I've included in my posts here like Maharaji sunset, maharaji the perfect instrument  google then for relaxation periods.

 

But this one deals with death and I found it beneficial. I hope it helps members in the grief process or the fear of your own passing.

 

https://youtu.be/X31OXMDUZVw?si=tDbbufcYcLxwaz1y

9 Replies 9

Scared
Community Member

I dont understand Maharaji.

"  I am not here I am someplace else "

For remaining loved ones that someplace else is a place we cant visit or see again.

This is the foundation of loss.

I have tried many times to follow words of wisdom but why it never comforted me.   Am I missing something or am I stupid.  Sometimes I really need my dad but hes someplace else and knowing that is what hurts so much.   I dont want to dismiss any profound sage wisdoms in fact I crave for someone to give my the silver bullet to my sufferings.   Frankly I often long for death and sometimes pray it will come tonight as my only release from suffering is death not living.  
I know people can get insights from people like Maharaji but I never could as much as ive tried.

You ate never "stupid". It's understandable, that link I found a little challenging to understand but basically he is saying (in very few words) that we must go somewhere when we pass.

 

For some that's heaven, for athiests like me it could be nowhere or in my personal case, it's in a spiritual place I have little knowledge of.

 

There is no "silver bullet" but there can be levels of comfort and Maharaji"s messages are of great comfort to many in the world. 

 

I suggest you google "maharaji sunset on YouTube then on the right side watch his many videos. "All is well" suggests anti anxiety mentality and "the perfect instrument " is appreciation of our species designed to lift our spirits about ourselves, to build confidence.

 

It's OK Scared, pick and choose your path to recovery. I hope you're OK.

 

TonyWK 

When people are benefited by these you tube anecdotes i always wonder whats wrong with me.   For eg people say go out in nature when feeling down   So I do only to still feel down when im in nature.   Or help people to feel better but i never do feel better.  You would think that at least one thing would work.   

So I assume "feeling down" means depression and I assume you're being treated for it?.

 

Essentially we community Champions use lived experiences as our basic tool of assisting others as we don't have qualifications.  So our limitations are from that and learning along the way. Hence we don't have all the answers so I'm guessing from your reply that nothing in our teachings has hit a cord with your depression, nothing so far has relieved it.

 

In that case, I suggest returning to your GP. A review of meds and other treatments could shine a light.

 

After 6 years of believing I had ADHD and trying 12 different medications for that I sought a 2nd opinion. That psychiatrist discounted ADHD and diagnosed bipolar. Finally meds for that improved my life. So a review is worthwhile 

 

TonyWK 

Hello Scared,

 

I believe that it takes courage to acknowledge that you do not understand something.

That is a sign of intelligence.

You most definitely are not stupid or missing something. 

You are aware of some of your current emotions, anger, fear.  

Your current state of mind is affecting how you react emotionally as well as new information you can take in. 

You might be in shock, or dissociated, have depression. 

You must really love your dad and I feel for you so much as I feel like you when I am struggling, I want my dad.

As Tony suggested, making an appointment with your doctor and or therapist (if you have a therapist) is a very good idea.  Say exactly how you feel.

You might feel scared, but you are brave.  It takes strength and courage to write on the forums as well as reply to others as you have done. 

I am wondering if your self- esteem has been drained also.  When feeling like no longer wanting to be here, please ring beyond blue or lifeline.  That is what they are here for.  You are not failing in reaching out for help.  You are showing strength.

Speak to yourself with the same words that you write to others.

Take care

Ems

Thank you Emotion

Thankyou EMS. And Scared, I hope you are getting this post as beneficial.

 

Scared- in 1996 I dropped down to my lowest point, newly separated from my nasty wife of 11 years and allowing her to have both daughters 7 and 4yo as primary carer, I had my children every second weekend and holidays. I had recovered from a suicide attempt a week before I left so it wasnt like I felt like I had a choice.

 

My then wife had made comments to friends that I'd "never amount to anything, likely he'll be a hermit". This is regardless of us paying a mortgage on an old home and my attempts to renovate it. I had also worked 3 jobs to allow here to remain home as a stay at home mum, even then I had to do all the house work, such was her laziness. Nevertheless after a couple of weeks on my own in a 11ft caravan I rebounded, purchased a parcel of land and ordered a kit home. 7 months later I had built my home and moved in even though I worked 12 hours shift work.

 

During that 8 months I looked into my mirror in my van every day and said to myself aloud "I am a good man, I will build this house, I will provide for my children, I will succeed". After about 4 months regardless of the challenges I began to feel like it was happening, the roof frame went up, the window in and the cladding on. When it finished my daughters arrived for their 1st weekend in dads house. There was fairy doonas, curtains and their bedroom overlooked a fairy garden. Nothing will stop me now.

 

My kids returned home and told their mum about my new home. Although I paid all child support required she wrote to the Child Support Agency to complain "that he has a new home and my home is 100 years old. He should pay more child support". This was even though I had signed over the house to her so our kids didnt have to move houses. I was devastated and exhausted. I replied to the agency explaining the circumstances including that I built the house myself to save money. The agency eventually replied stating the support amount was sufficient. 

 

That is only one challenge I've had in life but at all times I plough through the problems to succeed always saying those words "I am a good person, I will succeed". I works, it sinks in over time. 

 

We need, as individuals to rise to our challenges. Sometimes our challenges are in the form of mental health issues, in that case you have to pace yourself and not expect the recovery so soon, when you feel better than is the time to rebound.

As individuals we are vulnerable, we are targets for other people and we are too problematic for others. But we are beautiful human beings that can, once courage is applied, succeed in any challenge. As EMS said, you have that courage, you are wonderful and .... you will succeed.

 

Centuries ago there were adventurers, inventors, actors, painters, dancers, musicians and all of them likely had a mental health issue. ADHD enabled the adventurer to risk life and limb, inventors stayed awake for days to see their machine work, Van Gogh cut off his ear to prove his love , musicians went crazy composing... because of this one modern entertainer called Stephen Fry once said - "I have bipolar- if I am reincarnated I hope to return as myself with my illness... I dont want to live without it"...

 

Thats the advantage of a mental health issue.

 

TonyWK

 

 

That must have been a fantastic weekend when your daughters arrived for the first time.   I can feel the excitement myself.   That is what life is all about I can hear yourself saying.   I bet you slept well in peace that night.  Well done.  I have a very soft side to me and I can understand your happiness.  That story makes me cry almost

Up to 20% of all humans have HSP Highly Sensitive People. The other possibility is mental health issues can develop sensitivity.

 

Either way your sensitivity is to be embraced because you will "feel" life more, appreciate animals and caring humans. Your big heart will lead you to helping others like members and Champions do here.

 

Every aspect of you, your personality, character and feelings are good, your uniqueness is remarkable so that is your foundation to stability... accepting how wonderful you are.

 

I was counting the number of lilac flowers on a plant in my front yard. A loud car sped past. I refused to allow a distraction from the beauty of realising I had many more flowers than the day before.

 

Basics in life can be wonderful. Even better in a regional area than a city.

 

https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/staying-well/want-to-be-a-hermit/td-p/273204

 

https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/depression/highly-sensitive-people-hsp/td-p/480942

 

https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/relationship-and-family-issues/empathy-the-lost-art/td-p/547894

 

TonyWK