I have lost my sister and don't know how to cope
I have never posted in anything like this before but i just really need to pour my heart out.
I lost my beautiful sister 8 weeks ago. She was 31. She died suddenly due to an accident. We were extremely close and spoke multiple times a day. We shared everything and she is a huge part of who i am.
I replay the morning she died over and over in my head. I will never forget it.
I miss her terribly. I ache for her. I don't want to get out of bed anymore. I cry all day. I think of her constantly. I don't know how to live without her.
She didnt want to die. I feel so awful for her. She would be devasted this happened to her. I want to protect her and i can't. I should of prevented this happening somehow. She was too important to be gone.
I have 3 kids and i go through the motions every day but i have lost the best part of me. I feel sick that i am young and have to live through this for a long time. It cant be real.
I talk to her all day. I write to her constantly. Of course she never responds. So many things we shared. So many things that only she would understand. ...its all lost.
No one loves me like she does. No one understands me like she does. I just want this pain to go away and for her to speak to me.
I dont know what to do anymore.
What a beautiful sister you are. Such powerful words of love. If ever I've read such a tribute to a sibling that defines ones care its yours above.
And if we go by the theory that there are often positives out of negatives, imagine how many lost souls are reading your post right now.... Thinking about whether to reunite with their own estranged sibling?
You think about her all the time. I did also when I lost my older brother and dad. So I dedicated my thoughts on what and how I did things.
5 years after my dad dief , my marriage over I began to build my own home. Every weatherboard, every nail was met with dedication to my young daughters future and my dad being proud of me.
Perhaps you can think if ways to channel her love? It isn't easy. But I worked out a long time ago what we can't change we have to improvise.
Along with the greatest healer....time
Thankyou for posting.
Hi again evarosie
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Hello, it's good to hear from you. I am so sorry for the loss of your sister. I can appreciate the grief and pain in your life and I want to briefly tell you about the loss of my sister and mom. I know it won't take away your pain now but I want to give you hope.
My mom died after a fall and stay in hospital. She lived in the UK and no one told me until just before she died, when it was too late to get there and say goodbye. This was in 1999 and she died on Christmas Day. I managed to get there for her funeral. After I returned to Oz I cried everyday for months because she had gone. It was the most searing pain and I imagine this is how you feel.
I know part of your loss is because your sister died at such a young age and you cannot share your future as you both expected. And part of the pain is the feeling of a huge hole ripped into you that hurts constantly. This is how I felt about my mom. I know she was much older and we are all going to die, but the reality always takes us by surprise.
My sister had cancer, had a number of operations and lots of chemo. After a while the cancer had returned so often she was unable to fight any more. I did get to see not long before her death and I knew the pain she suffered. I'm glad I was with her for a while.
The worst of the raw grief has gone and it will go for you also. At the moment every thought hurts. Sometimes I just curled up in pain and grief. I wanted you to know how I felt because at times like this we believe we are alone and no one knows or cares about our loss. I care that you are going through this time and I wish I could stop your pain, but I can't. All I have is the assurance that it does get better.
My sister wrote poetry I discovered and she had always wanted to it published. I promised her I would do that and I did. It was hard at first reading her poetry and it made me cry because I was not reading it with her. I did get her work published. I needed to get over my own pain to some extent first. I gave several copies to my niece, her daughter, and she was so thrilled. I believe it helped her to manage her loss also.
As others have suggested, doing something in memory of your sister or anything that she would have liked and been proud of you for accomplishing, will help you at this time. I do scrapbooking and had pleasure in scrapbooking my sister's and mom's lives. Can you do anything of this sort? Whatever you choose will be right. Keep on writing in here, it will help.
I am so incredibly sorry for your loss. I lost my younger sister to a car accident just over 5 years ago, she was 19, me 21. It may not feel like it right now, but I promise you that time is a wonderful healer, and whilst it never gets easier you do find ways to carry your loss, and the load becomes lighter.
My sister had a wonderful fearless energy, she was so generous and kind, and I strive to draw on these characteristics in everything that I do. I have a few pieces of clothing and jewellery that I wear (some daily, some occasionally) to help me feel close to her. I channeled my grief into creativity and taught myself how to sew. I try my hand at baking (something she loved) every so often just to feel I am honouring or remembering her.
It might be useful for you to channel your grief into things that help you to feel closer to your sister, or to help keep her with you throughout the day, or simply to find joy in things she did or things you liked to do together. I miss my sister everyday, but I also know that she is with me every day if I need her.
Much warmth and strength to you. xxx
I am so sorry for your lose. You have received some wonderful advice from others already but l was wondering if you have considered joining a support group? There are many Facebook groups where people share a common experience and help each other out.
There is also a series of books titled 'Grief Diaries' which cover
Grieving takes time so be gentle with yourself.