I don't understand this greif

[elle56]

I got a call a few days ago notifying me that my ex husband had died. Not from family but from the child support agency.  No one has tried to contact our children either. Not sure what happened or exactly when, as the agency can't give out that information. I'm not understanding my reaction for a man who walked out 23 years ago,never took responsibility and became totally estranged from his kids.  My son noticed his dad had looked him up about 8 weeks ago. Maybe he had regrets.  I'm feeling lost , not sure why my emotions are even there. There have been a lot of losses in the last few years maybe it's all built up. Everyone is saying I'm crazy for being so upset UT it's how l feel

[Croix]

Dear Elle56~

I remeber you mum passed away not all htat long ago and despite the fact you were basically not in contact you grieved.

Now your ex has passed away, again wiht no contact, except perhaps to you son and you grieve once more. It is sad your ex died wihtout anyone contacting the children, however for you it is more than that.

I can't telly you why, I can say that greif, loss, anger and a mix of emotions can come to the fore and remain for quite some time - nobody is the same. and there is no timetable .

I guss you are someone for whom relationships, even unhappy ones, are important and their passing marks a chage in the way you see the world. It highlights, among other tihngs, the opportunities they missed - important ones.

Transcribe gave good advice "If you can, allow these emotions to find their own way"

I also think you are right, greif can build up. I hope now your life will be smooth and give it a chance to dissipate

Is there anyone you can lean on at the moment who will simply listen and care -and not question your feelings? Facing this alone is hard.

You are welcome here anytime

Croix

[elle56]

Thank you 

[Soberlicious96]

Dear elle56, I just want to say "The way that I describe grief is this; it's weird, unpredictable and the heaviest of all emotions because it's not just one emotion on its own, it brings with it the whole gamut. It brings sadness and anger and bargaining and frustration and confusion ..... you name, grief brings it. You're not 'crazy', you're just grieving. And it is perfectly okay to grieve, no matter the status of the relationship. It's a process and it happens one day, one bit at a time. Take care. Be gentle with yourself. xo