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Lost love

Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

So last Friday I went to the funeral of my ex partner. He was only 58 and died from a seizure and a brain aneurysm because he couldn't stop drinking. We were together for about 6 months, friends for a number of years before that, and broke up more than 7 years ago. I have had and am still with another partner since then.

But today, I think that the grief really hit me. I felt all angry and sad and just wanted to hide away and play all the soppy love songs and have a good cry, only I couldn't do that because I work in retail and had to paste on a smile and pretend like everything is okay. Some days working in customer service is so hard.

I don't want to talk to my current partner about it because I don't want to hurt him by letting him know that I am thinking about my ex. Don't get me wrong, my current partner is a truly wonderful man and very good to me ..... but I am still feeling the grief for my ex. I think about him and his cool Harley Davidson and his sexy gravelly voice when he sang to me (he was lead vocal in a band), his cool vibe ... and it's weird because I always thought he was 'too cool' for me because he had all this amazing energy about him .... but maybe he too thought I was not right for him because I had gotten sober and had/have been sober for so long and he wasn't? I think that's why he broke it off. He was the one who ended our relationship, not me.

Losing people to the demon drink is nothing new. Almost every person I ever drank with died when they were quite young; many of my friends, back when I was still drinking, didn't even make it to 40. But this guy was going to meetings while he and I were together, we MET in the rooms of recovery ..... and he was lying about being sober. And now .... this is the result. People still die from this disease of alcoholism .....

Anyway, I don't know. I'm just sad. I just needed to get it out, I suppose. Grief is so hard.

2 Replies 2

white knight
Community Champion
Community Champion

Hi, welcome


Indeed grief is a battle, then eventually we rise above it a little, enough to function. While in grief we dont think we will recover but we usually do.


It is sad you dont want to open up to your partner but it is understandable. You want to protect him too. 


Grief for me used to be harder to overcome, as I've aged (68) its had become somewhat easier. I write poetry so that is part of my process to heal. Writing in anyway does help as does planting a rose bush or a tree for them. But I suppose being an ex you likely still had feelings for him. The movie "the way we were" has that theme where they loved each other but couldnt live with each other.


I'm glad you got it off your chest. 🙂




The bass singer met his love

while in the recovery room

like sitting with him under an old red gum

To paradise from all the gloom


And every now and then

Off to the tree they’d go

To talk about their personal battles

Their friendship and their woes


When the old singer met his end

On a bed he’s never leave

His once lover returned to that old red gum

Where both began to grieve


Sap fell upon her shoulder

As both began to weep

Both of them in others arms

Quietly they fell asleep


And every now and then

The once lover would take her heart

Along to that old red gum

a tear for a singer... another story had begun…








Thankyou Tony. Your support is much appreciated. Xo