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Grief and loss

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Sophie_M Welcome to the Grief and Loss section
  • replies: 27

Everyone’s experience of grief or loss is unique. You might experience all kinds of difficult or overwhelming emotions, and you might sometimes wonder if the sadness will ever end. This is a normal reaction to loss. There is no right or wrong way to ... View more

Everyone’s experience of grief or loss is unique. You might experience all kinds of difficult or overwhelming emotions, and you might sometimes wonder if the sadness will ever end. This is a normal reaction to loss. There is no right or wrong way to grieve, but it can help to allow yourself to: share your grief, and let others support you. This forum category is for all discussions relating to how grief and loss has affected you, providing a space for you to express your feelings, discuss difficult moments and anniversaries, and honour the memories of your lost loved ones. Please be aware that threads in this forum may contain discussions of self-harm and suicide.

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Guest_93768673 losing a mum to cancer and watching everyone move on
  • replies: 1

i recently lost my mum early this year even though it feels like yesterday, my mum suffered from breast cancer since i was 11 and i was lucky enough to have until i reached 17 me and my family had a 6 years as well as several other things happening t... View more

i recently lost my mum early this year even though it feels like yesterday, my mum suffered from breast cancer since i was 11 and i was lucky enough to have until i reached 17 me and my family had a 6 years as well as several other things happening too my mum is my best friend she was the one person who truly cared and loved me i never got a long with my dad so i always had in around November of 2023 she started getting really bad and i saw a different person than my mum at the end of December she got a lot worse in such a short amount of time then it reached start of january and she couldn't walk and even after that i still thought she could make it then we found out the cancer had travelled to her spine and that they werent able to do anymore and she only had a few months to weeks left to live i was torn it was the worst few weeks of my life i her life slowly drain away and she was so scared she wasnt my mum anymore she couldn't speak i didnt hear her same bubbly laugh that would echo of the walls and make people smile she was drifting away from me i couldnt hold her tight enough she soon after passed away. i thought i would do a summary of my mum's story before i start with the question first is how long does it take to grieve my dad 4 weeks after my mum passed started dating someone new and now is always away and never there for me or my sister me and my dad have never gotten along but this has really put strain on our relationship even more i hate him for it ive tried talking to him about it but he wont listen hes already saying i love you and treating her kids better than he ever did us am i wrong for hating him for this? if not what can i do to change my perspective?

Guest_69958073 meeting a new therapist
  • replies: 1

iv'e lost more than many close friends over the year and have been feeling very down, i lost my bestfriend of 9 years and other close friends of 3-4 years. i want to improve my self esteem and help put myself back together again.

iv'e lost more than many close friends over the year and have been feeling very down, i lost my bestfriend of 9 years and other close friends of 3-4 years. i want to improve my self esteem and help put myself back together again.

Sad Divorce
  • replies: 1

My parents are about to split. I’ve attempted suicide before a few times when I was at my lowest. We’ve waited so long for our new house to be built but now, it’s all going to waste. To be honest though, my parent’s marriage was holding on by a singl... View more

My parents are about to split. I’ve attempted suicide before a few times when I was at my lowest. We’ve waited so long for our new house to be built but now, it’s all going to waste. To be honest though, my parent’s marriage was holding on by a single thread. I’m so scared. I don’t want to pick sides. I have 2 siblings, I want to be with them.

Janelle98 Losing my mum
  • replies: 3

My mum was diagnosed with stomach cancer less than a month ago. One month and my whole world has been turned upside down. The cancer has spread and there is not much doctors can do about it. Today she signed a DNR. She’s in hospital my beautiful mum ... View more

My mum was diagnosed with stomach cancer less than a month ago. One month and my whole world has been turned upside down. The cancer has spread and there is not much doctors can do about it. Today she signed a DNR. She’s in hospital my beautiful mum I cannot lose my beautiful mum. It is just me, I don’t know how to plan a funeral I don’t even have the money for a funeral. I feel so alone.

habibity My husband died
  • replies: 2

I recently lost my beloved husband of 23 years. We have 5 children aged from 21 to 7 years old. He was only 46 years old!He was an amazing father and kind person to anyone. He struggled with drug addiction for years and despite my attempts to get him... View more

I recently lost my beloved husband of 23 years. We have 5 children aged from 21 to 7 years old. He was only 46 years old!He was an amazing father and kind person to anyone. He struggled with drug addiction for years and despite my attempts to get him help…nothing did. Meanwhile he kept using and went on a downhill spiral and would keep getting an infection at the site of where he was using heroin.The last incident occurred before Christmas last year and he was prescribed antibiotics for his infection and it appears he didn’t complete the cycle of the medication.This time he started getting a high blood pressure record on his Apple Watch. He was using a mixture of drugs including meth ice and he was very sleep deprived although he was lying to me about it.My poor husband was in pain and I called him an ambulance and at the hospital I was told he had gold staph infection and he had a heart condition so he went to the intensive care unit. He had numerous drips in his body for help. He managed to FaceTime me and talk as he cried for being sick and he apologised and declared he loved me and our children dearly. We thought he would have to be in hospital for a couple of weeks and return home, but that wasn’t the case.After we spoke to each other he was placed into an induced coma because the infection had damaged almost every organ in his body and he had a mild stroke. We had a doctor who said that due to how unwell he was the doctors thought he would die within days and therefore myself and our children along with his family were taking turns to say goodbye to him and undoubtedly the most difficult task for me.He was in a coma for two weeks and woke up and appeared to be doing better due to the medication he was taking and I wanted to speak to him and he asked if he could come home to help me and our children as he called me his beautiful queen and declared his love for me. The doctor told him he was very sick and couldn’t go home and he never did. A few days after he appeared to be doing better he got a chest infection and was sadly placed back into an induced coma. The doctors had a meeting with myself and his family to discuss the next step of his journey as he had not been able to have any heart surgery due to dying on the table and he was reliant upon oxygen 100%. So the doctors said they had done everything possible to keep him alive and comfortable and that we would have to take palliative care. So they turned off all his machines from dialysis to his oxygen and given medication to help him with the last stage of his life and be completely comfortable. It’s been very difficult to see him in this situation but I wanted to make sure he knew he was never alone and I would stay through the night if needed. He was conscious for two days which was precious and I monitored his needs for medication. My husband was squirming around as if he was trying to get out of bed and he asked me to take him home but I couldn’t and this made me cry. He was extremely emotional and in pain so he was given some different medication and he was asleep but still responding to me talking to him with eye gestures and hand holding. He passed away on day 4 in palliative care and I was relieved that he no longer was suffering and how powerful our connection was. I am really grateful to have been there for him in his time of need and now am in pain. My heart is so heavy that a part of myself dyed with him. Any help support is greatly appreciated. Thank you

Guest_9895 Where to from here?
  • replies: 2

Hi everyone. This is really difficult for me. However, here I go. I have recently separated, after 17 years together and married for 4 years, 67 year old fulltime carer of a brother with down syndrome; he has no biological connection to my husband.. ... View more

Hi everyone. This is really difficult for me. However, here I go. I have recently separated, after 17 years together and married for 4 years, 67 year old fulltime carer of a brother with down syndrome; he has no biological connection to my husband.. To say I am shattered is an understatement and feel like life is not worth the pain and heart ache. I would love to go into more detail regarding the betrayal from him, but will only say it involved domestic violence towards my granddaughter. I am reliving this turmoil again, having been betrayed by my first husbands affair many years ago. I thought I knew this man but obviously not. There's much more including uncertainty around finances and my home. I just wanted to reach out for support from others that have been or are going through a similar situation. I know I am not alone, but it sure is lonely. I am currently seeing a wonderful counsellor who is treating me for generational trauma. Thank you for taking the time to read this post. All the best.

Mattle Struggling With Work and Home Life Pressure
  • replies: 3

Hi all, I’m trying this out to see if it helps. I’m a father of two in a single income family. My wife finds it hard to work, as my daughter is autistic and her school attendance can be minimal. This places a lot of financial strain on me as the sole... View more

Hi all, I’m trying this out to see if it helps. I’m a father of two in a single income family. My wife finds it hard to work, as my daughter is autistic and her school attendance can be minimal. This places a lot of financial strain on me as the sole income earner. My job is, to be frank, a bit of a shit show. It pays well, but the work load is extremely high. I’m overworked, under resourced and combined with a difficult home life, it’s causing me to sleep poorly, which makes everything feel so much harder. I’m suffering with high anxiety at the moment, and I can’t unwind or feel at peace ever. I just worry and feel trapped all the time. i feel like I need to quit my job, but the mortgage and bills need to be paid, and I can’t afford to be out of work. Anyway, I guess I’m just sharing in the hope that someone out there has been here before and has some advice that can help. Thanks

Weeping_widow My partner was murdered
  • replies: 2

In January 2024 my partner of almost 17 years was murdered. I don't know how to live without him. We have 3 beautiful children so I no I need to keep it together for them but I am just dying on the inside. I find it so hard to believe.... the last ti... View more

In January 2024 my partner of almost 17 years was murdered. I don't know how to live without him. We have 3 beautiful children so I no I need to keep it together for them but I am just dying on the inside. I find it so hard to believe.... the last time we saw him he was dropping us off at the train station to go to visit my mum for new year and we were meant to get picked up by him from the train statiom at 2pm on the 2nd instead I woke to messages saying there were heaps of police and ambulances at my house. I tried to call my partner franticly but no answer so I started watch my security camera. I could see all the police and that my house was taped off and I could see the forensic people in there blue suits taking photos. I then got a call from a detective asking where I was and if the kids were with me and that they were sending some one to talk to me but wouldn't tell me what was going on. It took them 4 hours to get to me. Then I was tagged in a fb post on the police page that stated a man had been found unresponsive at an address on our street and that it was a homicide investigation. I just started screaming my kids came running from all different directions so I had to instantly try to pull myself together I couldn't tell them yet. My kids and myself have now been homeless for the past 10 weeks today as we obviously couldn't return home. We are so lucky to have amazing friends who have taken us in but we just need our own space to grieve and start to rebuild but I also have no idea how to do that. All I want is to wake up and for him to be back I miss him so much and I'm just so lost and broken without him.

Corr Grief
  • replies: 1

My Dad passed August last year. He had a terminal illness and was lucky to have kept going until last year. It still feels like a shock to have lost him and that it was sudden.My Mum is still around and my siblings. I just feel that I have lost a con... View more

My Dad passed August last year. He had a terminal illness and was lucky to have kept going until last year. It still feels like a shock to have lost him and that it was sudden.My Mum is still around and my siblings. I just feel that I have lost a constant in my life as my parents were always there and now one has gone on ahead. Some days are harder than others and I dream of my Dad coming home and things returning to how they were. It feels so realistic that waking up and realising it isn't is surreal. I don't feel comfortable opening up to my Mum about this as she seems fragile. I don't know if I can talk to my siblings about it as it feels odd to do so.

TeenieWeenie Finding Myself after a loss
  • replies: 2

My husband passed age 46 of cancer 2.5 years ago and instead of things getting easier I find it’s getting harder. Today I just come to the hard truth that I will never be anyone’s first choice ever again. I am feeling more lonely than ever before. I ... View more

My husband passed age 46 of cancer 2.5 years ago and instead of things getting easier I find it’s getting harder. Today I just come to the hard truth that I will never be anyone’s first choice ever again. I am feeling more lonely than ever before. I struggle to leave the house only for work and groceries other than that I stay home. I feel I am constantly working either at work or around the house. I never have fun anymore I don’t even know what that looks like now. Anyone else feel the same?