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Grief and loss

Support and advice following the loss of a family member, partner, spouse or someone close to you.

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Sophie_M Welcome to the Grief and Loss section
  • replies: 27

Everyone’s experience of grief or loss is unique. You might experience all kinds of difficult or overwhelming emotions, and you might sometimes wonder if the sadness will ever end. This is a normal reaction to loss. There is no right or wrong way to ... View more

Everyone’s experience of grief or loss is unique. You might experience all kinds of difficult or overwhelming emotions, and you might sometimes wonder if the sadness will ever end. This is a normal reaction to loss. There is no right or wrong way to grieve, but it can help to allow yourself to: share your grief, and let others support you. This forum category is for all discussions relating to how grief and loss has affected you, providing a space for you to express your feelings, discuss difficult moments and anniversaries, and honour the memories of your lost loved ones. Please be aware that threads in this forum may contain discussions of self-harm and suicide.

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Mattle Struggling With Work and Home Life Pressure
  • replies: 3

Hi all, I’m trying this out to see if it helps. I’m a father of two in a single income family. My wife finds it hard to work, as my daughter is autistic and her school attendance can be minimal. This places a lot of financial strain on me as the sole... View more

Hi all, I’m trying this out to see if it helps. I’m a father of two in a single income family. My wife finds it hard to work, as my daughter is autistic and her school attendance can be minimal. This places a lot of financial strain on me as the sole income earner. My job is, to be frank, a bit of a shit show. It pays well, but the work load is extremely high. I’m overworked, under resourced and combined with a difficult home life, it’s causing me to sleep poorly, which makes everything feel so much harder. I’m suffering with high anxiety at the moment, and I can’t unwind or feel at peace ever. I just worry and feel trapped all the time. i feel like I need to quit my job, but the mortgage and bills need to be paid, and I can’t afford to be out of work. Anyway, I guess I’m just sharing in the hope that someone out there has been here before and has some advice that can help. Thanks

Weeping_widow My partner was murdered
  • replies: 2

In January 2024 my partner of almost 17 years was murdered. I don't know how to live without him. We have 3 beautiful children so I no I need to keep it together for them but I am just dying on the inside. I find it so hard to believe.... the last ti... View more

In January 2024 my partner of almost 17 years was murdered. I don't know how to live without him. We have 3 beautiful children so I no I need to keep it together for them but I am just dying on the inside. I find it so hard to believe.... the last time we saw him he was dropping us off at the train station to go to visit my mum for new year and we were meant to get picked up by him from the train statiom at 2pm on the 2nd instead I woke to messages saying there were heaps of police and ambulances at my house. I tried to call my partner franticly but no answer so I started watch my security camera. I could see all the police and that my house was taped off and I could see the forensic people in there blue suits taking photos. I then got a call from a detective asking where I was and if the kids were with me and that they were sending some one to talk to me but wouldn't tell me what was going on. It took them 4 hours to get to me. Then I was tagged in a fb post on the police page that stated a man had been found unresponsive at an address on our street and that it was a homicide investigation. I just started screaming my kids came running from all different directions so I had to instantly try to pull myself together I couldn't tell them yet. My kids and myself have now been homeless for the past 10 weeks today as we obviously couldn't return home. We are so lucky to have amazing friends who have taken us in but we just need our own space to grieve and start to rebuild but I also have no idea how to do that. All I want is to wake up and for him to be back I miss him so much and I'm just so lost and broken without him.

Corr Grief
  • replies: 1

My Dad passed August last year. He had a terminal illness and was lucky to have kept going until last year. It still feels like a shock to have lost him and that it was sudden.My Mum is still around and my siblings. I just feel that I have lost a con... View more

My Dad passed August last year. He had a terminal illness and was lucky to have kept going until last year. It still feels like a shock to have lost him and that it was sudden.My Mum is still around and my siblings. I just feel that I have lost a constant in my life as my parents were always there and now one has gone on ahead. Some days are harder than others and I dream of my Dad coming home and things returning to how they were. It feels so realistic that waking up and realising it isn't is surreal. I don't feel comfortable opening up to my Mum about this as she seems fragile. I don't know if I can talk to my siblings about it as it feels odd to do so.

TeenieWeenie Finding Myself after a loss
  • replies: 2

My husband passed age 46 of cancer 2.5 years ago and instead of things getting easier I find it’s getting harder. Today I just come to the hard truth that I will never be anyone’s first choice ever again. I am feeling more lonely than ever before. I ... View more

My husband passed age 46 of cancer 2.5 years ago and instead of things getting easier I find it’s getting harder. Today I just come to the hard truth that I will never be anyone’s first choice ever again. I am feeling more lonely than ever before. I struggle to leave the house only for work and groceries other than that I stay home. I feel I am constantly working either at work or around the house. I never have fun anymore I don’t even know what that looks like now. Anyone else feel the same?

Toymanpete My Mum Died Yesterday
  • replies: 5

Hello. I'm writing this with a broken heart because my mum died at 3:21 yesterday morning of lung cancer caused by smoking. We had always lived together for all of my 42 years & I don't know how I'm going to go on without her. It was all so very sudd... View more

Hello. I'm writing this with a broken heart because my mum died at 3:21 yesterday morning of lung cancer caused by smoking. We had always lived together for all of my 42 years & I don't know how I'm going to go on without her. It was all so very sudden- on Australia day she told me she was crook with a headache & diarrhoea & soon after, she developed a hacking cough with blood. I called the doctor's office but the receptionist told me "Call back in May" & hung up! That arvo, the paramedics ended up taking her to the local hospital (we live in a country town). The doctor there, a local GP (Not our GP) had a CT scan done & called our family in but he had a shocking bedside manner- he very quickly told us she had cancer "Here, here & here" & told mum she "Didn't have to make a decision now". They stupidly discharged her the next arvo with the only follow-up being a standard GP appointment in April!, as well as prescriptions for 2 utterly useless fluid pills, for her swollen legs. On Sunday, she got really crook. Hot & cold, in & out of sleep. I rang 000 & the paramedics took her to the big hospital 1 hour away. The doctors & nurses there were in disbelief at what the GP had done. My family drove up soon after & we stayed until 2AM, before we drove back, but she died 90mins later. Now I'm here at home alone & don't know how to go on. Thank you for listening.

ErinDay Grief and Depression
  • replies: 1

My husband passed away 18 months ago. He was 34. Our daughter was 9 months old. My husband was diagnosed with an aggressive cancer and I cared for him. He passed away in our bedroom next to me. I fell asleep curled up next to him until his mum came i... View more

My husband passed away 18 months ago. He was 34. Our daughter was 9 months old. My husband was diagnosed with an aggressive cancer and I cared for him. He passed away in our bedroom next to me. I fell asleep curled up next to him until his mum came into the room distressed that I hadn’t called the funeral director to collect him. I just didn’t want to let him go. I miss him and feel lonely. I keep playing things over and over in my head. The brutal chemo treatment, seeing him upset and cry because he wasn’t going to see his daughter grow up, him being confused due to the drugs and toxin in his body, and other horrible stuff as his body failed him. I can’t sleep, I get stressed and am depressed. I use alcohol to forget and turn my brain off. It’s an awful cycle, wake up, coffee, screaming kid, work, screaming kid, wine, disturbed sleep, wake up and so on. I don’t want to drink, I just don’t know how to turn my brain off. I don’t want to remember. Even the good memories are painful . He would be so disappointed in me.

BabyDepression07 Loss of my Mother
  • replies: 2

im 28 years old and have 3 younger siblings aged 22 and a twin brother n sister who r now 9.we suffered an unexpected loss of our mother a year ago and i have no idea still how im suppose to deal with it.I have lost all my family as none of them talk... View more

im 28 years old and have 3 younger siblings aged 22 and a twin brother n sister who r now 9.we suffered an unexpected loss of our mother a year ago and i have no idea still how im suppose to deal with it.I have lost all my family as none of them talk to me sinc it happend, my 22 year old brother has custody of the twins. he and i dont talk anymore. no one in my family even comes to see me or ask how i am. my Bipolar is really hitting hard some days. i dont know what i have done wrong or y everyone stays away from me. im so lost n feel so alone. IS THIS NORMAL OR AM I GOING CRAZY????

naralle I really miss my mother
  • replies: 5

My mum and I were really close when I was living at home, but when I decided to move out things really changed. My mum wasn't herself and when I went to visit her and dad but when I met my future husband well things completely changed. My mum and dad... View more

My mum and I were really close when I was living at home, but when I decided to move out things really changed. My mum wasn't herself and when I went to visit her and dad but when I met my future husband well things completely changed. My mum and dad have cut me off and it's been like it since 2004 and my sisters don't wont anything to do with me, so basically my family have cut me off all because I left home and I'm in morning for losing my mum even though she hasn't passed away. I miss my mum so much it hurts, I've written to my mum 3 times and no reply. I think my father might have something to do with it as we never really got a long. I always new that I was the black sheep of the family. In my father's eyes I couldn't mount to anything, I was a big disappointment to him. But honestly I was more close to my mother than anything else and since 2004 I haven't been the same since. That part of my heart has been left empty and hurting since and I don't want to mean to be nasty but when my father does pass away I want to be able to go to my mum and say why? I do love my dad but he made my life impossible. I'm also wondering if my dad had a hard up bring with his dad? Anyway thank you for listening

lemonadetears is grieving the loss of yourself a thing or am I crazy?
  • replies: 2

years ago I almost died but I dont feel like I'm the same person after it. there's so many better things about who I am now and I like myself way more... but I also kind of mourn the loss of the person I was. it's as if I lost my innocence, lost my f... View more

years ago I almost died but I dont feel like I'm the same person after it. there's so many better things about who I am now and I like myself way more... but I also kind of mourn the loss of the person I was. it's as if I lost my innocence, lost my faith in myself and lost that person I used to be. to cope, I even changed my name as it helped recognise the person I am now rather than being seen as the person I used to be, but there's also just some sadness and grief that comes with having almost entirely detached from who you used to be in the span of what, a couple hours? there's so many things from my old self that have continued on, but these things aren't good, such as unresolved traumas and unresolved insecurities. I'm trying to work on it, but idk, I almost feel like I'm broken for mourning... the person I used to be? is grieving the loss of yourself a thing or am I mad?

Bronwynne A new normal
  • replies: 4

My husband suicided almost a year ago in February on our daughters 14th birthday in her bedroom My daughter attempted suicide in July last year I am struggling with a lot of emotions, my daughter says she hates me, hardly calls me Mum anymore, just u... View more

My husband suicided almost a year ago in February on our daughters 14th birthday in her bedroom My daughter attempted suicide in July last year I am struggling with a lot of emotions, my daughter says she hates me, hardly calls me Mum anymore, just uses my first name, says she wishes I was dead and blames me for her complex ptsd which I have also been diagnosed with I have no family here they are all interstate I feel all alone have no close friends I can talk to just feel so lost and alone Xmas last year was so hard with it just being my daughter and myself I don't want a repeat of that