Losing fear of death after losing a parent

[AfterLoss]

This won't be the usual post.

Six days ago, I lost my dad (early 70s) to a heartattack.

I miss him dearly and he was by far the most influential person in my life. It has been an up and down emotionally and never thought I'd be capable of feeling so much pain.

However, my post isn't really about that. My post is about the fact that I was talking to my sister today and she mentioned that she seemed to have lost her fear of death following my dad's death. The same seems to be true for me, I had been scared of my own mortality, but since my dad died, it seems to have largely evaporated.

Is this a common thing? Is it temporary? I tried googling it, but couldn't find any answers.

Obviously I would prefer my dad to be alive, but I always try and find a silver lining, and at least for the time being, this appears to be one of them.

[indigo22]

Hi AfterLoss,

Welcome to the forums and thank you for reaching out to us.

I am so sorry for your loss, I have lost both parents so I know how hard it can be and it is a painful process while you are coming to terms with the loss. It will get less painful with time though.

There are many things that can change the fear of death. I don't know what your experience was but if you sit with someone who is dying and they are peaceful in those last moments, that can be one reason. I had an experience when my mother was passing that let me know that there is no need to fear death. A few minutes prior to her last breath, I felt a presence in the room and when I thought to myself "I wonder who is here", a photograph of my mothers mother popped into my mind, she had come to take her daughter with her. It also means that we never go through that process alone.

Whatever the reason it has happened for you and your sister, it is a good thing. There are enough things and people in life that try to make us afraid, I would think of it as one less fear to carry around with you.

I hope you will find some comfort in my story and I hope you are able to get past the painful part of the process soon.

Wishing you all the best,

indigo