Grief

[Guest_31169317]

September used to be a happy month. Fathers Day, Wedding Anniversary, my husbands birthday. I am quite low as it now includes my husbands death. I find it hard to cope with it. I have a history of depression, PTSD due to childhood trauma. I do my best during this month but today it has overwhelmed me. I am trying to stay on top of it, but worry it will take me down into darkness.

[Eagle Ray]

Dear Guest_31169317,

I just wanted to say I am so sorry to hear of your loss. Those anniversary times can be so difficult. It's great you have reached out for support. If you wanted someone to talk to there is also Griefline who you can call on 1300 845 745 and Beyond Blue on 1300 224 636. Sometimes it helps just to experience some grounding and co-regulation with another person and it can lift the darkness a little.

When there is a history of depression and childhood trauma I think it just makes grief and loss that much more difficult. The grief can be more complicated when there's already been major challenges and loss in the past, such as perhaps the lack of safe attachments in childhood which can make us all the more vulnerable when we experience loss later in life.

How are you going now? Sometimes those points of overwhelm can feel so intense, but we are here listening so feel free if you need to chat.

Warm wishes,

Eagle Ray

[JamesCarer]

I'm truly sorry for your loss. These words are often empty when the grief we feel is so profound, especially on anniversaries. I'm slowly recovering from my own loss and there were very dark times there, too.

A couple of things kept me going. One was reaching out (which you're doing here and there's some great responses). The other was realising that grief came in cycles. There were nights where it was real bad. The next day was always better for me. The cycles were pretty consistent in the beginning but the lows were becoming further and further apart.

1. It's taken me almost a year to reach some semblance of normality. I guess, what I'm trying to say is that even though it feels like it's too much and will never get better, it's not permanent. It is often overwhelming and scary but it will always pass.