Hi Liam
My heart goes out to you so much as you experience so much pain.
In no way do I judge you harshly. In fact, what you are able to achieve is something others try and learn to do. You could say it's a form of meditation you're able to achieve naturally, without learning. This tells me that not only do you have an open mind but also a vivid or clear imagination. Two things that can require very careful management. Btw, it's one thing to be able to see through the imagination, it's another to be able to see, hear, feel, smell and even taste. To be able to relate to all senses is incredible.
There are plenty of people out there who imagine some form of guardian angel or guide. Depending on what we're led to relate to, they'll appear differently to different people. For some, they can relate to images from games, for others they might relate to images of angels or an average looking person or a loved one who has passed. Whatever works. They can become a resource in many ways. As long as we're able to manage the ability to go in and out of that form of meditation is key. When we lose the ability or the ability interferes with our life in some way and becomes destructive or even dangerous, that's when it can present major challenges.
My heart also goes out to you in relation to the events that took place following that bully's words to you. Not only did you lose a sense of self but also a sense of your guide/companion. Do you think this could be a time in your life when you begin to reform your sense of self and your sense of Zelda? For example, while you evolve to take a different form, does she also? While you evolve to become someone who proudly accepts and celebrates their imagination (instead of feeling a sense of 'foolishness') or you proudly evolve into someone who announces 'I'm sensitive because I have the ability to sense' (instead of feeling ashamed of being sensitive), how would your guide/companion now appear to you? Would she begin to come back to life in new ways in your imagination while you also begin to come to life more?
The imagination requires an incredible level of mastery. You are already a master of it to some degree. You're already at a level that bully and others may never reach. You never know, you may actually end up becoming someone who teaches others how to use their imagination. All great teachers begin as apprentices who graduate through a number of 'next level' challenges. Again, my heart goes out to you as you face such an incredibly painful and challenging level.
