Grief and loss

Support and advice following the loss of a family member, partner, spouse or someone close to you.

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BeyondBlue Welcome to the Grief and Loss section
  • replies: 0

Hey there,Welcome to the Grief and Loss section of the Beyond Blue Forums. This section is for all discussions relating to how grief and loss has affected you- providing a space for you to express your feelings, discuss difficult moments and annivers... View more

Hey there,Welcome to the Grief and Loss section of the Beyond Blue Forums. This section is for all discussions relating to how grief and loss has affected you- providing a space for you to express your feelings, discuss difficult moments and anniversaries, and honour the memories of your lost loved ones. Everyone’s experience of grief or loss is unique. You might experience all kinds of difficult or overwhelming emotions, and you might sometimes wonder if the sadness will ever end. This - and anything in between - is a normal reaction to loss. There is no right or wrong way to grieve, but it can help to allow yourself to share your grief, and let others support you. Please be aware that discussions in this section of the Forums may include references to self-harm and suicide. Treat yourself gently as you read through this section. If need more immediate support, we recommend reaching out to the following: Beyond Blue Support Service – any time, chat online to a counsellor or call 1300 22 4636 Griefline – between 8am and 8pm (AEST), call 1300 845 745 to chat with a specially trained volunteer You are not alone in this, and we are here to support one another. Thank you for being here. Kind regards,Beyond Blue

All discussions

OhmeOhmy I miss my Mum and Dad
  • replies: 4

Both my parents have passed away and yesterday was the two year anniversary of my Dad passing. The grief still hits me so hard and raw at times. It rips through my whole body.I miss their unconditional love, I miss being known and understood so well,... View more

Both my parents have passed away and yesterday was the two year anniversary of my Dad passing. The grief still hits me so hard and raw at times. It rips through my whole body.I miss their unconditional love, I miss being known and understood so well, I miss having someone completely in my corner, I miss their faces lighting up when I walked in to visit them, I miss their compassion, I miss their loving investment in my life and wellbeing, I miss how safe they made me feel, I miss their voice, smiles and hugs. I'm so grateful to have had parents that gave me all these things to miss.

Bhel Grief losing my dad and mum
  • replies: 2

Hi everyone!I lost my dad almost two months now !i miss him a lots !I feel up and down and sad most of the time it’s too hard living in other country with out family then you lost your both parents and far away from sisters and brothers too !

Hi everyone!I lost my dad almost two months now !i miss him a lots !I feel up and down and sad most of the time it’s too hard living in other country with out family then you lost your both parents and far away from sisters and brothers too !

Mummum88 Too much loss
  • replies: 1

Hi Everyone I've had so much loss over the last 3 years, 3 family members (Brother-in-law, Sister-in-law and husband's grandmother) and most recently (Yesterday) a work colleague, and I'm struggling. I get stressed or anxious, my heartrate is risen a... View more

Hi Everyone I've had so much loss over the last 3 years, 3 family members (Brother-in-law, Sister-in-law and husband's grandmother) and most recently (Yesterday) a work colleague, and I'm struggling. I get stressed or anxious, my heartrate is risen and i get stiff and i am all over the place today at work - we are a small office and we all still had to come in. I just don't know what to do, how to cope.Home i seem to relax, i have my husband and toddler (light of my life) and more distractions i guess but work and when im trying to go to sleep are my biggest problems.I'm so sad.

RaspberryMuffin Its sad
  • replies: 10

Just today my mom told me that tomorrow we might have to put my favourite pet white silky chicken down her name is (Vanilla Lawrence Byles) she has a big bulge on her foot and either its an infection or a tumor idk how to spell it but today she tripp... View more

Just today my mom told me that tomorrow we might have to put my favourite pet white silky chicken down her name is (Vanilla Lawrence Byles) she has a big bulge on her foot and either its an infection or a tumor idk how to spell it but today she tripped and she cant even carry her own weight even though shehad like a 2 and a half weeks off eating we don’t know why she wasn’t eating but i think it is the end of the road for her now. Can anyone relate But really sad time for a 13 year old who raised her all by himself and gave her pats every day.R.I.P

Guest_32805485 Lost without beloved pet of 20 yrs
  • replies: 1

I recently quite suddenly and unexpectedly lost my beloved pet of 20 yrs. It was quite traumatic, trying to save him. I don't know how to exist without him. He is.......was.....my best friend. I don't know that I want to know how to exist without him... View more

I recently quite suddenly and unexpectedly lost my beloved pet of 20 yrs. It was quite traumatic, trying to save him. I don't know how to exist without him. He is.......was.....my best friend. I don't know that I want to know how to exist without him. I either cry or feel numb, like nothing matters anymore. I feel guilty for not saving him, not that he could be. Like it's my fault. How do I stop the pain? My heart is broken and I know it will never again feel whole, not without him. He got me through some of the worst days of my life. And I don't know how to survive without him. He was what kept me going, my strength. He tried to stay....he fought..... He has a brother who I now can't bear to be around.....I haven't seen his brother since he passed a few weeks ago. The thought of leaving the house ever again makes me feel nauseous and my chest feel tight and funny. I haven't told anyone. I don't know how to. It's like....once I do.... There's no turning back and he's really gone forever. I don't want to talk to my friends. Only the two people I live with (husband and dad) and one friend. My dog hates me. I don't blame him. I hate me for not being able to save him, for not being 15 minutes earlier and he wouldn't have been right there for it to happen.

Oscar Loss of grandchildren (through relocation)
  • replies: 4

I have been (surrogate) grandmother to a friend's two sons (aged 3 and 2) and have seen them at least 3 times a week since they were born and they have been the highlight of my life. I am 83. Their parents have now decided to relocate from Perth to M... View more

I have been (surrogate) grandmother to a friend's two sons (aged 3 and 2) and have seen them at least 3 times a week since they were born and they have been the highlight of my life. I am 83. Their parents have now decided to relocate from Perth to Melbourne (for housing and work reasons) so I will no longer see them. I am heartbroken and cannot stop crying.

Michelle_19 Grief of both parents along with mental health
  • replies: 2

Hi my name is Michelle I lost my mother 4 months ago and Thursday last week. I find him dead and finding it hard to deal with and that not been diagnosised with any mental health conditions. I am asking for help

Hi my name is Michelle I lost my mother 4 months ago and Thursday last week. I find him dead and finding it hard to deal with and that not been diagnosised with any mental health conditions. I am asking for help

Lynda Early grieving
  • replies: 2

Hi ..my name is lynda and my aunty passed away 2 weeks ago but only found out a day ago,my emotions are through the roof,i lost my brother to suicide and i am scared of the future.

Hi ..my name is lynda and my aunty passed away 2 weeks ago but only found out a day ago,my emotions are through the roof,i lost my brother to suicide and i am scared of the future.

OllieA_TransKid I believe i dont have a reason to be here
  • replies: 3

So, around 4 years ago, my great grandmother died, and i'm not over it. It's almost her passing anniversary soon and along with my ex girlfriend breaking up with me and calling me a bad person... I want to join my grandmother in heaven... I can't dea... View more

So, around 4 years ago, my great grandmother died, and i'm not over it. It's almost her passing anniversary soon and along with my ex girlfriend breaking up with me and calling me a bad person... I want to join my grandmother in heaven... I can't deal with my ex's bull crap and i feel like I'm drowning in quicksand of toxicity...

JamesCarer Mum is gone and I'm broken
  • replies: 9

That's it. I cared for her for 15 years. I knew she was thirsty before she needed a drink. I knew when she was in pain. I could understand her eyes. I never wanted her to feel like she was a burden. I wanted to provide what she needed before she even... View more

That's it. I cared for her for 15 years. I knew she was thirsty before she needed a drink. I knew when she was in pain. I could understand her eyes. I never wanted her to feel like she was a burden. I wanted to provide what she needed before she even knew she needed it She was the most gentle, loving, caring and compassionate person I knew and I will ever know. She loved her kids above all else and she deserved to be cared for. I would do it all again in a heartbeat She didn't speak English well and she would hear me practising the piano often. When she was under palliative care. I made sure she was at home with me. It took some time to find the right doses of medication to keep her calm but her delirium had set in far earlier. I had the Greek TV playing in the background and played her recordings of my piano playing. As her breathing slowed and I felt her pulse, I thought my pulse had sstopped too and wished she'd taken me with her. "Where are you going without me!" I cried. I held her hand and sat beside her for three hours talking to her and thanking her for being the perfect mum as family arrived. My younger brother was already there. I remember waking to my brother holding me down after having a semi-seizure. Psychogenic Epilepsy they called it. With neds I started thinking about my future and work. I was a secondary school teacher before caring and I knew the vultures were coming, and they did. From my own family. Now, I don't want to move. I'm forced to sell my house (vultures), I'm scared, lonely as I was cut off for 15 whole years, and there's this pain in my stomach that won't go away. Sometimes it feels hollow too. I'm 44 and I feel like the bigger part of me has died. It's too intense sometimes. Sometimes it's softer but when nighttime comes, my soul starts to ask for my mum. My beautiful mum. I promised to lead a happy life before Ivrealised how hard it would be. I know it's onky been 3 weeks but It seems impossible. I miss you so, so much.