Grief and loss

Narcissistic abuse survivor

replies: 2

Hi All- any survivors of NPD abuse? I am an empath and realised I became a people pleaser from childhood where I experienced terrible abuse. I married, husband later diagnosed with Autism but narcissistic traits which were the issue followed by DV. W... View more

Hi All- any survivors of NPD abuse? I am an empath and realised I became a people pleaser from childhood where I experienced terrible abuse. I married, husband later diagnosed with Autism but narcissistic traits which were the issue followed by DV. When child safety became involved it woke me up to leaving before kids experienced it too. (Which sadly happened later on access visits) Then I went through intensive counselling for years only to finally end up engaged to a man I later figure out has NPD and there was financial and emotional abuse (gaslighting/DARVO etc) The act had me fooled, but the lies all came undone and I saw 2 people: the one I loved. Then the cold, calculating one who seemed to enjoy deceiving and using others as it was a fun game. Of course the later was real him and it rocked my world as I’m kind and believe the best of people. Probably because I know what it feels like to struggle. Now I have this intense anger at all the behaviour from childhood to now. Then I feel numb as my whole blueprint for life has been BS- I’m not responsible, it’s not me, they were projecting their own crap onto me and dodging responsibility. I erroneously believed in mutual respect, honesty and good intentions . I don’t know how to ever trust again and have lost my faith especially in men which is unfair. I’ve been through a lot- but the last guy took the cake. I’m so so thankful to be free as it was sociopath level scary when all the evidence came to light and the switch flipped. I’ve since learned there can be machevallian where they are very skilled at manipulating and matched this person.. 🥹I am grieving that I haven’t had a safe relationship and likely won’t as I quit now as I’m not going to survive any more rounds. I do lots of self care, get to church, work, care for kids (now 100% care) trying to make friends post discard ( met some nice people). But I just feel numb- exhausted, ruminate then yo-yo with anger and depression. I feel like a zombie. I don’t talk about it except with therapists as I want to be free of it. Is anyone else going through this? Recovered? What helps? Thx in advance ☺️

My life is an ongoing mess

replies: 6

I can't seem to cop a break. For years I have had so much heartache and stress. But it's starting to really take an effect on me. My grandmother died a week ago. Ive been her carer for almost 10 years since my dad died. We had the funeral yesterday a... View more

I can't seem to cop a break. For years I have had so much heartache and stress. But it's starting to really take an effect on me. My grandmother died a week ago. Ive been her carer for almost 10 years since my dad died. We had the funeral yesterday and we've just found out my step son is in jail on major chargers. I don't know how to deal with life at the moment. I dont know how to help my parnter navigate this situation. His kid is 22 but he's been a pain in the arse the last 14years. I just dont know what I'm meant to do with my life anymore.

War

replies: 5

I recently watched an animated film called 'Grave of the Fireflies'. (Spoilers ahead) It follows two children who lose their parents during World War II and eventually die from starvation. I couldn’t stop crying while watching it. What struck me afte... View more

I recently watched an animated film called 'Grave of the Fireflies'. (Spoilers ahead) It follows two children who lose their parents during World War II and eventually die from starvation. I couldn’t stop crying while watching it. What struck me afterward was the realization that I was grieving for fictional characters while, at this very moment, countless real people, including children are suffering and dying because of wars happening somewhere in the world. It made me wonder: have we become desensitized to suffering of war happening far away from us? Do we fail to truly feel these tragedies because they don’t directly affect our own lives? And should we feel guilty for enjoying a warm meal when so many people caught in war are starving? It got me thinking, how little ordinary people can really do about wars driven by political conflict. While innocent people continue to suffer, it often feels like world leaders fail to take meaningful action to prevent it. Blue

Nees help coping for 3 family deaths

replies: 2

Hi all, 26 year old male, severe depression, anxiety and regular panic attacks. This is the first time I've public posted my thoughts so bear with me. I suffered from mild depression and anxiety from my early teens, up until November 2014 when my eld... View more

Hi all, 26 year old male, severe depression, anxiety and regular panic attacks. This is the first time I've public posted my thoughts so bear with me. I suffered from mild depression and anxiety from my early teens, up until November 2014 when my eldest brother passed away in a car accident at aged 32 following that in 2016 my mother passed away aged 52 from a stroke whilst shopping with my youngest sister who was only 11 at the time. And again following that, in September 2017 my other brother just 3 years older than myself at 29 years of age passed away in his sleep from pneumonia and an enlarged heart (undiagnosed). Since my eldest brother passed away, my depression, anxiety and stress has been unimaginably through the roof, with it only getting worse after each death. My last brother to pass away was considered my best friend so it was a "double whammy" and i took a month of work from my new job which i only started 7 weeks prior. I feel lost, alone and my social anxiety stops me from doing the most basic of tasks, such as calling someone, getting up to go to the shops, etc... I came here because I keep having time off work and cant keep it up as my financial situation doesnt allow it, I can no longer do things I enjoy like working on my project car, as I dont have any money to fund it, which make me more depressed and it just keep going around in circles. I am currently medicated and have just started taking something to help me sleep (California rockey fuel apparently). I was previously on another medication for 4 years, but it didn't work for when my family passed away. I cant speak to my partner, friends or family because they get upset when Im upset. I bottle my emotions up a lot and I cant help doing it, its just how I am, I've been seeing a physiologist each fortnight for the past 9 months, i feel good after i go but i go back to feeling the same the next day. I cant afford more time off work as I am the sole income earner and I currently have a childcare bill in excess off $500 not to mention car regos due, so that stresses me out more. What should I do? Please help.

Trust after my daughter's attempted suicide

replies: 6

Hi all, I am a mother of 3 beautiful daughters. My middle daughter attempted suicide last October. It was very very close. I live in a different state from her, and when I discovered a goodbye message on my phone, I called the police and ambulance, w... View more

Hi all, I am a mother of 3 beautiful daughters. My middle daughter attempted suicide last October. It was very very close. I live in a different state from her, and when I discovered a goodbye message on my phone, I called the police and ambulance, who got there just in time.I flew to be with her and stayed with her for 4 months until she was back on her feet. Now back home, I am struggling during the weekends. During the week, I work and am distracted. I am already seeing a psychologist for my own trauma issues. But what I am missing is people who can relate to my experience; how to trust her after this (her suicidal thoughts are chronic, but low-level currently). How do I get that image and the feelings of the moment I read her message out of my head. How I had to plead with the police to enter her property. The feeling of almost losing her is still so raw and it comes up when I am not busy. How have others coped? Thank you for taking the time to read this.

heavily grieving

replies: 11

its been about 3 hours since my dad has been pronounced death and its felt very bitter, particularly since its a public holiday (and a sunday) so everywhere is closed or under a surcharge i hate public holidays, and i hate having to farewell my dad. ... View more

its been about 3 hours since my dad has been pronounced death and its felt very bitter, particularly since its a public holiday (and a sunday) so everywhere is closed or under a surcharge i hate public holidays, and i hate having to farewell my dad. things weren't perfect but now i have to learn life admin things myself, typical adulthood things no one likes to do. i thought now im home i can articulate my sense of frustration but i cant, i just want time to pause so i dont have to worry about everything

I lost my cat and I am lost

replies: 2

Hi guys, I had to put my cat to sleep on Tuesdsy due to heart issues and i feel immense guilt to the point of my body cant function. i am shaking, bursting into tears and pacing the house. i feel sick like i am going go vomit constatntly. I dont want... View more

Hi guys, I had to put my cat to sleep on Tuesdsy due to heart issues and i feel immense guilt to the point of my body cant function. i am shaking, bursting into tears and pacing the house. i feel sick like i am going go vomit constatntly. I dont want to eat but I force myself. i rescused this cat from being surrended two times when he was a kitten and he was a very vocal cat that needed attention, and i was lucky enough to spend most of my days at home with him. ive lost a dog before, but this is different. when you spoke to him he looked you at you, and followed us everywhere as he just wanted to be wrapped up in our arms or by our side whenever he could. The guilt i feel in feeling like I rushed the decision and feeling like i should have brought him home to just be sure he didnt magically get better or last longer is eating me alive. its 3:30am and im up waiting to be woken by him, or looking for a sign hes here. my brain keeps tricking me and telling me hes just outside and he will be in later....i go and double check to see if his little face is waiting at the door to come in. the house is lonely, quiet and i just want him back, if he came back i would be okay, i promise myself that. He was a big emotional support for me too, as i have suffered with anxiety all my life. And everytime i saw him i smiled, lit up and talked to him. I am a broken lady. His was rushed to emergency two months ago, but i thought the issue was fixed. They said his breathing was bad and he would have to go to emergency again and most likely have surgery which would cost a lot, and no promise he would get better or make it. I feel so guilty that i shortened his life and i was meant to protect him like i promised from when i rescued him. xox

Facebook (facecrook) have disabled my account

replies: 2

For 2nd time! "Upon first seeing disabled account message with instruction to "upload a head photo using device camera, in order for us to review the disablement" (don’t know how SIMPLY providing a head photo was meant to aid a review?) Then I get an... View more

For 2nd time! "Upon first seeing disabled account message with instruction to "upload a head photo using device camera, in order for us to review the disablement" (don’t know how SIMPLY providing a head photo was meant to aid a review?) Then I get another message STRAIGHT AFTER submitting the photo.. 'We've disabled your account, we've reviewed your account and found that it still doesn't follow our Community Standards on account integrity. You cannot request another review of this decision' I don’t know if something may’ve in fact gone awry with the process? For I cannot fathom what posts would’ve breached community standards on account integrity!? Given facecrook are continuing to unreasonably strictly enforce their (essentially bogus - arbitrary - self-imposed- subjective) ”community standards” then it should be incumbent upon Facecrook to personally SCREEN EVERY SINGLE POST BEFORE BEING PUBLISHED to obviate the risk of users getting their accounts disabled for posting what may be deemed to (SUBJECTIVELY) not follow community standards!

Grief and loss with possession, belonging, memories. Stuff.

replies: 2

I can't count the amount of times lately I have cried myself to sleep, an exhausted blubbering mess of confusion and so many emotions i dont know to process yet. I need to know I am not alone in this experience. I recently through my own actions put ... View more

I can't count the amount of times lately I have cried myself to sleep, an exhausted blubbering mess of confusion and so many emotions i dont know to process yet. I need to know I am not alone in this experience. I recently through my own actions put trust with someone who I obviously shouldn't and ultimately it led to them throwing out every item I owned except the 1 suit case of clothing I had with me .. this triggers the most regularly when I'm talking with anyone about anything as reflex I want to respond with I am also have this item .. no I don't. How do I start to heal and move on when everything hurts so deep and personal..

I think my sister is dead

replies: 3

sorry for information overload, i want somehwere to unload this, its been weighing me down. i think my sister may be dead.im a child of divorce, my mother had four kids, which i am the youngest one and i fear im the only one alive i dont have memorie... View more

sorry for information overload, i want somehwere to unload this, its been weighing me down. i think my sister may be dead.im a child of divorce, my mother had four kids, which i am the youngest one and i fear im the only one alive i dont have memories growing up with them becuase of my age, but we lived all toghether up until i was 4, they moved to a different country while i stayed in my home country with my mothermy brother had depression, and both of mysisters had muscular dystrophy she stayed in contact with my siblings as best as she could all these years, she'd tell me to say hi and talk to them, i never understood why my sisters couldnt speak and my brother translated what they were trying to say, i thought he had magical pwoers that helped him understand their mumbles and groansacross a time period, my eldest sister stopped shwoing up, i never saw her in the calls anymore, i still dont know whtat happened, but i want to hope that shes not dead, maybe she's being cared for elsewherethenmy brother killed himself a few years ago, i wasnt meant to find out, it was an accident, coinicdence that that was the day my mom dropped me to school, it was terrifying to see my mom break down, i got traumatized by the experience of finding out he diedit was then just my older sister, we'd call her on my way to school and say hi, catch up on her healthher condition got worse, she couldnt even groan anymore, it stung seeing her lay immobile on the bed, they said her condition was getting a bit better thoughand then it stopped, i never see my mom call that number anymore, she doesnt talk about her anymorem not the most mentally stable person, is she not telling me because of that ? i want to ask but i dont know if i should, i dont want to make my momsad either, i love her so much and dont want her to be sad . im scared, and i dont know what to do.

Pinned discussions

Welcome to the Grief and Loss section

replies: 0

All discussions

Narcissistic abuse survivor

replies: 2

My life is an ongoing mess

replies: 6

War

replies: 5

Nees help coping for 3 family deaths

replies: 2

Trust after my daughter's attempted suicide

replies: 6

heavily grieving

replies: 11

I lost my cat and I am lost

replies: 2

Facebook (facecrook) have disabled my account

replies: 2

Grief and loss with possession, belonging, memories. Stuff.

replies: 2

I think my sister is dead

replies: 3

Grief and loss

Welcome to the Grief and Loss section replies: 0

Narcissistic abuse survivor replies: 2

My life is an ongoing mess replies: 6

War replies: 5

Nees help coping for 3 family deaths replies: 2

Trust after my daughter's attempted suicide replies: 6

heavily grieving replies: 11

I lost my cat and I am lost replies: 2

Facebook (facecrook) have disabled my account replies: 2

Grief and loss with possession, belonging, memories. Stuff. replies: 2

I think my sister is dead replies: 3

Welcome to the Grief and Loss section

replies: 0

Narcissistic abuse survivor

replies: 2

My life is an ongoing mess

replies: 6

War

replies: 5

Nees help coping for 3 family deaths

replies: 2

Trust after my daughter's attempted suicide

replies: 6

heavily grieving

replies: 11

I lost my cat and I am lost

replies: 2

Facebook (facecrook) have disabled my account

replies: 2

Grief and loss with possession, belonging, memories. Stuff.

replies: 2

I think my sister is dead

replies: 3