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Sophie_M Welcome to the Grief and Loss section
  • replies: 27

Everyone’s experience of grief or loss is unique. You might experience all kinds of difficult or overwhelming emotions, and you might sometimes wonder if the sadness will ever end. This is a normal reaction to loss. There is no right or wrong way to ... View more

Everyone’s experience of grief or loss is unique. You might experience all kinds of difficult or overwhelming emotions, and you might sometimes wonder if the sadness will ever end. This is a normal reaction to loss. There is no right or wrong way to grieve, but it can help to allow yourself to: share your grief, and let others support you. This forum category is for all discussions relating to how grief and loss has affected you, providing a space for you to express your feelings, discuss difficult moments and anniversaries, and honour the memories of your lost loved ones. Please be aware that threads in this forum may contain discussions of self-harm and suicide.

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Guest_74960730 Losing my father who loved me most in my life
  • replies: 1

The sudden loss of my father has left me shattered and unprepared. This morning, my cousin delivered the devastating news that he had passed away from a heart attack. The shock is overwhelming, especially since we had been planning to reunite at my g... View more

The sudden loss of my father has left me shattered and unprepared. This morning, my cousin delivered the devastating news that he had passed away from a heart attack. The shock is overwhelming, especially since we had been planning to reunite at my graduation ceremony this December—our first meeting since I came to Australia nearly two years ago to study. I knew my father was dedicated to his work and often reluctant to seek medical attention. Part of me believed he was taking care of himself, but our distance made it impossible for me to know for certain. Now, it's too late for so many things. It's too late to express how much I love him. It's too late to tell him what a wonderful father he was. It's too late to apologize for not visiting home more often. It's too late to do all the things I wished I could have done for him I feel so empty and desperate right now. Nothing seems to matter anymore, and I feel as though I lost the goal of my life. I fear that I'll be living with a void in my heart and crying in every moment when I miss him. I miss him. I love him.....

Ggrand Remembering our beautiful pets…🐕🐈🐓🦜🐇🐁🐄🐏🐖🫏🦘🦃🐠🦆🐣….🌈
  • replies: 3

Hello everyone….… I recently lost one of my beautiful fur girls a month ago and the heartbreaking sadness is still so real… I thought I would start this thread to remember our beautiful pets who have left us to travel over the rainbow bridge….maybe i... View more

Hello everyone….… I recently lost one of my beautiful fur girls a month ago and the heartbreaking sadness is still so real… I thought I would start this thread to remember our beautiful pets who have left us to travel over the rainbow bridge….maybe it’s a way to remember them and cherish the beautiful memories we have of them…have you lost a precious pet and want to share some of the good times and beautiful memories you have of them….I know I would love to hear about them as I’m sure many others would…..and just to add we are all here to support each other both in our grief and the sadness we feel every day….living without them by our side… I was the midwife for your mumma and that ment that I met you the moment you were born, so tiny, no bigger then a golf ball covered with black fur you looked like a piece of black Ebony, that’s how you got your name…my Dear sweet Ebony, the last of the litter, smallest of all your brothers and sisters….but oh so very cute.. Your brothers and sister grew and were adopted by their new forever parents, but you sweet Ebony I couldn’t part with you, you captured my heart the first time I saw you…you stayed with me and your mum… You had a gentle soul, one that when anyone met you, they instantly fell in love with you… you loved to play with your little soft toys, you and mumma would play tug of war together…and broke many of them apart….when your mumma was tired you brought your toy over to me to play with you…you snuggled into my arms every night, you loved to touch me at night…as small as you were you would inch closer and closer to me…I even fell off the bed one hot summers night trying to cool myself down…you had a foot fetish anyone who had bare feet in my house had to endure your constant cleaning of their feet… You loved going for drives with mumma fur and myself, I often stopped and got you your favourite Kentucky popcorn chicken on a break when travelling to Sydney….You would watch the people passing, barking at them until they noticed you…can I pat them a few asked me…your little tail would wag so fast after I wound the window down so they could pat you…. Many times when I was desperately depressed, somehow knowing I was down you would walk up to me with those big beautiful brown eyes and just stare at me until I picked you up so you could cuddle me… When I came home from work, you, your mumma and adopted sister would get so excited, after a lot of pats n cuddles even before I put my bag down..you all would just sit in front of my cupboard waiting until I gave you all a snack….your mumma and sister still do…but I’m missing they way you would jump up and down excitedly when I opened the cupboard and make those funny little noises….until I gave you all one each Cancer found you, then it took you away from me on the ………my sadness is overwhelming…I’m hurting deep in my soul, my heart is breaking, I want to once again feel your soft fur against my face, hear your excited bark, feel your wet kisses, watch you run around and play outside….I am seeing that in my mind, but it’s just not the same….missing you sweet little Ebony… My kindest thoughts and hugs….Grandy..

Lauren_m12 The loss of a Grandpa
  • replies: 1

I just lost my Grandpa very suddenly and shockingly due to a stroke. I am finding it extremely hard to cope. He was very active in my life. He always called family members and wanted to go over to see them. My family feel guilty for being 'busy livin... View more

I just lost my Grandpa very suddenly and shockingly due to a stroke. I am finding it extremely hard to cope. He was very active in my life. He always called family members and wanted to go over to see them. My family feel guilty for being 'busy living our own lives' I guess you could say. And thinking about how we could've done things differently - spent more time with him. I also feel traumatised seeing him disabled after his stroke. And I feel very sorry for him knowing that his family would see him like that. My dad (my grandpa's son-in-law) found him collapsed. it's hard because he always wanted to be with family. I went to his house and took everything in. I took home some shirts and sweaters. The smell of them reminds me of him. I feel guilty to move on with my life, I feel like I was blinded before when he was alive by my own life. I feel like I should punish myself by not having fun in the future. I want my life to be over like his is. I did take him banana bread last year a few times. I only just saw him for his 80th birthday and I asked him if he had any regrets and he said no 🥰. I just went out of state with him for a funeral which was great quality time but also really sad, as he was thinking about his own funeral, and told me that he hopes that people cry that much at his funeral... I told him that we will all say very nice things about him but it won't be for a long time.. he said "hopefully" . He came over just to see grass that I put in for my new house. It's hard to imagine him not being around because he was central to my family. He was always laughing and engaging in conversation. He wasn't sick. I keep thinking of him in hospital in a coma. I watched him for hours just breathing and holding his hand. It was very hard to see him passed too. I am glad that I got to tell him that I love him. It hurts a lot. Please help me

Golden2024 Losing my mum
  • replies: 13

First of all, let my apologize in advanceas I don’t normally post anything anywhere and struggle putting thoughts to words sometimes but I wanted to reach out to any others that may share my experience. It’s been 2 years now since my mum passed away.... View more

First of all, let my apologize in advanceas I don’t normally post anything anywhere and struggle putting thoughts to words sometimes but I wanted to reach out to any others that may share my experience. It’s been 2 years now since my mum passed away. We were absolutely inseparable, she was my best friend and at times my savior. She was the very definition of unconditional love.I knew before she passed that it was going to hit hard and tried to prepare myself as best I could but nothing could have prepared me for what was to come. The grief seems to be getting stronger now over time along with feelings of guilt that maybe I didn’t do enough for her or spend enough time with her than I could have. I have recently moved interstate away from all my support back home and right now feel completely alone.My family and friends are close and supportive but i still feel like they will never completely understand my grief. I don’t know where to turn and feel like I have aged so much since she passed. I tell myself I will try to make her proud , she would never have wanted me to feel like this. There are many others that have gone through so much worse than I have and I am so grateful for having been blessed with such a beautiful mum.My wish is for all others that are struggling with grief find the comfort and peace that they need to get through, no one is really alone if we reach out to each other. Please take care of yourself and I will try to as well.

ABC01 I miss him so much today.
  • replies: 19

Hi,I lost my beloved cat nearly 7 weeks ago. I was devoted to him for the 3 and a half years I had him. He was killed and I have been devastated and dealing with my grief on a daily basis. Today,I just miss him so much. I feel like I need a cat in my... View more

Hi,I lost my beloved cat nearly 7 weeks ago. I was devoted to him for the 3 and a half years I had him. He was killed and I have been devastated and dealing with my grief on a daily basis. Today,I just miss him so much. I feel like I need a cat in my life,but I am just looking for him in every cat I see. I know I can never have him back,but I just long for him. It is the worst pain. Everything is so silent now. That makes me miss him harder. I also feel now like I want to eat everything in my path to help deal. Thank you for hearing me.ABC01

pawsy hard days
  • replies: 3

feeling very low. i saw my gp this week which was good. she organised a mental health care plan for me so hopefully i can find a psychologist to talk to soon, but i have been sliding downhill pretty fast since seeing her. i've made soup and vacuumed ... View more

feeling very low. i saw my gp this week which was good. she organised a mental health care plan for me so hopefully i can find a psychologist to talk to soon, but i have been sliding downhill pretty fast since seeing her. i've made soup and vacuumed the house and fed my pets but thats about it since wednesday. texted a friend. my parents both died in 2023 and we are selling their house. someone is looking at it -- a single mum who has two small children. this makes me happy but also very sad to think of little children being in the house where i was a little child too. the loss of everyone and everything is hard. harder than i thought it would be.

Chlobear Hard times
  • replies: 2

I have been going through a break up and im sure everyone on here knows how hard it can be, especially if you were really attached to the person. Im struggling to feel better at all and looking for anyone to talk to as i have no friends and no family... View more

I have been going through a break up and im sure everyone on here knows how hard it can be, especially if you were really attached to the person. Im struggling to feel better at all and looking for anyone to talk to as i have no friends and no family to talk to or go see to distract myself. Im not sleeping and my negative feelings and thoughts are tormenting me each night i wake up 3:45am unable to go back to sleep.

Losingmyway Losing my way
  • replies: 3

Hi. I lost my mum 3 years ago next month and I lost my brother on Boxing Day 2023. I was my mother’s carer until she passed and I am now also my fathers carer. My brother died suddenly on Boxing Day just gone which has shocked both my father and I. I... View more

Hi. I lost my mum 3 years ago next month and I lost my brother on Boxing Day 2023. I was my mother’s carer until she passed and I am now also my fathers carer. My brother died suddenly on Boxing Day just gone which has shocked both my father and I. I was aware my brother drank alcohol quite a bit but not to the extent it contributed to his death, which resulted in multi organ failure and sepsis. I have two adult children no partner and a half sister who lives overseas. I am also dealing with chronic back pain which I am getting treatment for but is very slow going as I am in the public health system. I am also helping and dealing with my 30 year old daughters health problems which has also been ongoing for a number of years but she finally has been diagnosed with an autoimmune disease. She is currently living with me. This year so far has been the hardest of my life. Dad broke his hip 5 days after my brother passed which resulted in a 2 month stay in hospital and a further 2 months staying with me until I could get his place modified to suit his new way of life. My daughter was in and out of hospital with her condition. I was diagnosed with skin cancer(which has successfully been cut out) and all whilst dealing with my brothers estate as he had no will, no partner and no kids. Recently I’ve been feeling that I’ve lost my way and wondering if I have dealt with things,as I thought I was coping well. I have no motivation, have put on weight due to unhealthy eating habits and generally feel low. I am currently on a bit of medication for pain which also includes a antidepressant. I constantly have flashbacks of my brother in the emergency department hooked up to all kinds of machines while I sat next to him holding his hand. Eventually he was intubated and airlifted to a bigger hospital and within less then 24hours I had to make the call to take him off life support. I am so angry at him for the way he went. There were so many lies told by him and if only he had told someone this could have been avoided.I feel guilty I wasn’t able to help him or if I had checked in more with him I could have helped. I feel torn between caring for my dad and my daughter that I feel I have lost myself in amongst all the chaos. I’m really hoping to get some ideas on coping with everything and getting back to a new normal.

AfterLoss Losing fear of death after losing a parent
  • replies: 1

This won't be the usual post.Six days ago, I lost my dad (early 70s) to a heartattack.I miss him dearly and he was by far the most influential person in my life. It has been an up and down emotionally and never thought I'd be capable of feeling so mu... View more

This won't be the usual post.Six days ago, I lost my dad (early 70s) to a heartattack.I miss him dearly and he was by far the most influential person in my life. It has been an up and down emotionally and never thought I'd be capable of feeling so much pain.However, my post isn't really about that. My post is about the fact that I was talking to my sister today and she mentioned that she seemed to have lost her fear of death following my dad's death. The same seems to be true for me, I had been scared of my own mortality, but since my dad died, it seems to have largely evaporated.Is this a common thing? Is it temporary? I tried googling it, but couldn't find any answers.Obviously I would prefer my dad to be alive, but I always try and find a silver lining, and at least for the time being, this appears to be one of them.

IAM_INKI My Guardian Angel: Granddad
  • replies: 2

Hi all. This post is about the bravest, most loving and caring person I ever had. He is my granddad. Basically, I grew up with my grandparents. Mum and dad weren't that quite established yet, not having enough finances to support both me and my sibli... View more

Hi all. This post is about the bravest, most loving and caring person I ever had. He is my granddad. Basically, I grew up with my grandparents. Mum and dad weren't that quite established yet, not having enough finances to support both me and my sibling. I had the best childhood! I was well-loved, taken cared of and was the adult's "adorable bub" back then. It was the best years of my life! But like other people's life story, mine wasn't that too different. After a couple of years being under my grandparents care, I found myself being in my parents wings. I didn't knew my mum back then, I was so little and they said I just cried my heart out. Been looking for my grandparents from dusk to dawn. I was horrible back then, I know. But it wasn't my fault. They we're the only people I knew of - my beloved grandmum and granddad. Fast forward, last 2021 the scarieat day of my life. My granddad left us, left me. Until now, still don't want to think that he's already gone. He's still clearly is alive within me, he's always here, in my heart. I miss him, so badly. He was always there for me since day 01.. ‍ if I can just see him for the last time.. even just to hug him and to say goodbye to him.. I miss him badly, everyday. Will never be tired and will never fail to love him forever.