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Grief and loss

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Sophie_M Welcome to the Grief and Loss section
  • replies: 27

Everyone’s experience of grief or loss is unique. You might experience all kinds of difficult or overwhelming emotions, and you might sometimes wonder if the sadness will ever end. This is a normal reaction to loss. There is no right or wrong way to ... View more

Everyone’s experience of grief or loss is unique. You might experience all kinds of difficult or overwhelming emotions, and you might sometimes wonder if the sadness will ever end. This is a normal reaction to loss. There is no right or wrong way to grieve, but it can help to allow yourself to: share your grief, and let others support you. This forum category is for all discussions relating to how grief and loss has affected you, providing a space for you to express your feelings, discuss difficult moments and anniversaries, and honour the memories of your lost loved ones. Please be aware that threads in this forum may contain discussions of self-harm and suicide.

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tagal Husband passed away
  • replies: 8

I lost my husband of 55 years recently we had been together since I was 15 and he 17. I am completely devastated and cry all the time (except when someone is here) I find it hard to go out but manage it when I’m with my sons and there wives. I just c... View more

I lost my husband of 55 years recently we had been together since I was 15 and he 17. I am completely devastated and cry all the time (except when someone is here) I find it hard to go out but manage it when I’m with my sons and there wives. I just can’t stop thinking about him miss him so much. If anyone has any ideas how to stop this constantly thinking of him I would be very grateful.

imissingyou Mum why did you have to leave
  • replies: 2

I’m 17 years old and my mum died three days ago. It was totally unexpected, she was in perfect health, fit and energetic she was. When do you finally believe it’s real and not a joke? When do you stop feeling an ache in your chest that feels constric... View more

I’m 17 years old and my mum died three days ago. It was totally unexpected, she was in perfect health, fit and energetic she was. When do you finally believe it’s real and not a joke? When do you stop feeling an ache in your chest that feels constricting and painful? will it ever go away… I read things and it says it will but I don’t know how. Everything is so wrong and unfair.mum why did you have to leave

rusti_4 It's all getting too much.
  • replies: 3

I honestly just don't know any one. I think I'm just destined to be miserable.I wrote my car off on New Year's Eve, my grandmother passed away last week and my parents just had to put one of our dogs to sleep... I'm struggling financially and just wa... View more

I honestly just don't know any one. I think I'm just destined to be miserable.I wrote my car off on New Year's Eve, my grandmother passed away last week and my parents just had to put one of our dogs to sleep... I'm struggling financially and just want to run away from everything. I can't even afford to see my doctor to get a new prescription for my ADHD.

MonicaB Lost my husband
  • replies: 2

Nearly 11 months ago I lost my husband of 25 years. I have gone from 72kgs to 54kgs and am lost

Nearly 11 months ago I lost my husband of 25 years. I have gone from 72kgs to 54kgs and am lost

Nutkins Grief/loss
  • replies: 2

Hi,I lost mum 2 years ago. I’m devastated. Was her carer. I lost 4 cats- Jane, Tilly, Robby, Kevin, and now Ratty. I have a place to do vet science, but buyers won’t buy my house , so can’t go interstate to do it. I am alone . I have no family / clos... View more

Hi,I lost mum 2 years ago. I’m devastated. Was her carer. I lost 4 cats- Jane, Tilly, Robby, Kevin, and now Ratty. I have a place to do vet science, but buyers won’t buy my house , so can’t go interstate to do it. I am alone . I have no family / close friends. I’m unemployed cos I went to TAFE and no one will give a job. I am trapped . Can’t move. Gonna lose my place . Have nothing much to live for atm, but who cares- no oneI worked hard for my vet place. have always worked hard. Don’t know what to do.only allowed counselling once a month. Have no one to talk to. V. Lonely. I cry all the time. too much grief. More grief, more lonleyness. Got bullied out of nursing, while was Mums carer for free- cos she was not allowed a carer on Medicare on a visa.I think this house selling will kill me. It is so cruel. My house is a good house, but they either don’t want it or they try to rip it off me. My father says it’s better to be heartbroken than in a mess, but does not understand that heartbreak can get you into a mess.This is not right. It’s killing me

daisybelleflowers My Nephew was lost to suicide this week and I am trying my best to look after my sister and her fam
  • replies: 2

My beautiful nephew took his life this week and has left his family up in arms because he showed no signs … his parents didn’t see anything…. His best mates didn’t see anything…. He looked after others above himself and was always the life of the par... View more

My beautiful nephew took his life this week and has left his family up in arms because he showed no signs … his parents didn’t see anything…. His best mates didn’t see anything…. He looked after others above himself and was always the life of the party or fooling around with family? Unfortunately I have not been around him much for the past 10years … he was 18… but from what everyone has been discussing this week since we lost him on Tuesday… no one had any idea

Seraphene-4444 My Dad is going in for a lung transplant and I’m really scared for him and myself.
  • replies: 3

Hi I’m Seraphene I’m 19 and I’m struggling to keep myself together. I have autism and ocd and I’m scared I won’t be ok ever. Even though I’m getting help it’s so hard.My Dad has a severe illness called pulmonary hypertension. He’s been going in and o... View more

Hi I’m Seraphene I’m 19 and I’m struggling to keep myself together. I have autism and ocd and I’m scared I won’t be ok ever. Even though I’m getting help it’s so hard.My Dad has a severe illness called pulmonary hypertension. He’s been going in and out of hospital since May 2022 when he got Covid and was diagnosed in October 2022. He is on the lung transplant list. And even though I’m doing my best to stay strong for him and positive I can’t keep it together because I’m scared for myself. I have been crying secretly so I don’t worry him.But I’m afraid I won’t be ok. I’m scared that when he goes on immunosuppressants I will accidentally make him sick or if he dies I won’t be able to stay strong. I’m trying to find a course that will help me have a high paying job so I can live independently but I’m worried that it won’t work out. Uni was an ultimate failure for me. I’m thinking of doing OHS or something but I’m worried that I won’t be good enough. My mum died from cancer and my sibling is dealing with his own problems I’m so scared. It’s so hard. I am getting therapy but I feel like I’m worthless. How am I supposed to stay strong through this tough time. I don’t want to give up on life but I just feel so much grief.

white knight Family split a realistic approach
  • replies: 3

This Xmas has been a sad occasion with a family divide prior to Christmas day that resulted in half our family not attending our day. I've noticed from others posts over the years the natural tendency to allow emotions to rule decision making. The me... View more

This Xmas has been a sad occasion with a family divide prior to Christmas day that resulted in half our family not attending our day. I've noticed from others posts over the years the natural tendency to allow emotions to rule decision making. The mere thought of "losing" family members from our lives is often too much to bare. I believe we should exercise a "cross the line" approach which doesnt alleviate the pain but makes the road ahead clearer. If the family argument is contained to a fixable level between the parties directly involved then allow it to run its course, miss one xmas if it takes that. However some behaviours can escalate quickly and if those actions are intolerable and likely to reoccur, then as in my case the hard decision must be made, to distance oneself from those that lack the basics of compassion, forgiveness and the like. Creating distance- I actually come from an "all or nothing" family- in your life or totally out of it. Any withdrawal will be seen as an abandonment and fear of abandonment is a part of the NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder) ingredients. However, you can perform partial disconnect eg stay in touch once or twice a year. If that is seen as full disowning then frankly that is their problem. This "their problem" concept is just as interesting. If you have identified what parts of a dispute is attained to yourself, owned it, apologised for it and so on then dont fall for anyones attempt to lay blame upon you. Separation of fault is most important to find clarity. Identify "tit for tatt" and treat it for just that, miniscule expansion of the real issues. Family could resort to triangulation involving one or more into the argument and place those loyal persons at the frontline support rather than sideline support where it is more effective and doesnt directly involve them. Toxic family members are not always liveable, they might need to be distanced and thats ok if it means your mental health is preserved. It'll still be a grief period but you'll live in peace, hopefully. If you have sort treatment for your mental health issues then it isnt reasonable for others to do the same if their behaviour is toxic. Be firm, fair, kind and realistic. Emotions alone wont solve problems TonyWK

Siobhan505 I am about to put my dog down tomorrow.
  • replies: 3

I have an appointment scheduled for tomorrow to euthanise my family's black Labrador of 15 years. I feel very sad and down about it and almost feel physically ill. Blitz is the sweetest dog and I am dreading coming home to an empty house and getting ... View more

I have an appointment scheduled for tomorrow to euthanise my family's black Labrador of 15 years. I feel very sad and down about it and almost feel physically ill. Blitz is the sweetest dog and I am dreading coming home to an empty house and getting rid of his stuff and knowing I can never be near him again.We are cremating him and the thought of him just being dust is extremely painful.Any advice on how to navigate this difficult would be appreciated.Does it get easier over time?

Rach_den23_ Struggling with putting my cat down
  • replies: 3

Hi, I have recently put my cat down and I am struggling massively with the decision I made, I regret doing it. He had surgery a few months ago for this same problem, he had surgery again and then I was told he had to have surgery again the next day a... View more

Hi, I have recently put my cat down and I am struggling massively with the decision I made, I regret doing it. He had surgery a few months ago for this same problem, he had surgery again and then I was told he had to have surgery again the next day and then go to the sunshine coast for weekend care (which is 1 hour away) I was told the same problem would possibly reoccur again. I chose to put him down, mainly due to the cost if it all and the possibility it would happen again. Now I regret my decision and can't seem to get myself out of this depression. I miss my cat so much. Inwish I could go back to that day and start over