Hi, welcome
I'm so sorry for your loss, a good dad is a gift and although mine passed 32 years ago its still painful. However, I often remind myself that he wouldnt want me filling every day with grief. Grief is a personal thing in terms of length of time and intensity, no one can lecture us on how these things should be cut short.
So my first message is not to surround yourself with people that have no empathy. As for your husband, I dont know his circumstances if his parent passed or not but if not then he might not conceive the pain. Imagine you have gone for a space flight, try to explain to family what it was like, they cant visualise it so you feel alienated. So this is not to claim he doesnt love you but some people cant put themselves in others shoes. Please dont be too hard on your husband.
During the next few months you will need to distract your attention onto other things, hobbies, sports or writing. You might plant a rose garden in your fathers honour. If you feel you have no control,. you dont feel safe, please ring lifeline or the number at the bottom of this page for beyondblue assistance.
Our forum is open 24/7/365 so all you have to do, even in the middle of the night, is write a post, get it off your chest, and wait for a member or champion to respond when they come on line.
I wrote this while grieving for my dad
Dad knew I’d want to follow
Where ever he went-in his footsteps
Through your pride and boyish whim
I always tried to follow him
And on Sundays a few hours spare
I be his shadow for the day to care
Boy behind his dad so tall
But he didn’t mind-didn’t mind at all.
Then as his life cut so short
wish to follow as my last resort
No wonder he used a broom to sweep
To hide his footstep stencilled feet
But now and then I see a print
Where he’s been in the misty tint
Like a ghostly outline of a sole
I place your foot inside the hole
Sadness will follow in my inept
It’s just something I must accept
But I will be eager the day my feet will greet
My father’s footstep stenciled feet….
TonyWK
