Death of my partner

[Guest_03252580]

My beloved partner of ten years was killed in a car crash 15 months ago. The crash was caused deliberately by a mentally ill driver who is now facing murder charges. The court proceedings are very difficult for me but not the biggest difficulty.

I miss my partner all the time and feel completely abandoned. I do have loving friends and my very elderly father who loves me dearly, but no siblings (brother committed suicide 25 years ago) and I never had children.

Life has little joy any more and I can't see the point. If it were not for my father I dont know how I would cope anymore, I know not to hurt him in anyway, after what he went through with my brother.

[white knight]

Hi, welcome

I'm so sad for you. I too lost a brother to suicide in 1978 he was 26yo. I lost an uncle also that way. 

Grief is hard to sooth, we have variety and distraction that can help-

https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/staying-well/depression-distraction-and-variety/td-p/275790

I'm afraid that life wont have joy until you can move forward and that might include dating or meeting new friends, something you need to force yourself to do. Some people (me included) are of the type that cannot move forward until we grow fond of another. Just my experience, you may not be ready. But a clear direction, a purpose is needed.

I'm experienced in court proceedings and can say that there is often delays in the court processes no dissimilar to the tidying up of personal administration stuff post a persons passing. But rest assured the day will arrive when its all done and you can put things behind you. In the meantime plant a rose garden in memory of your partner or write a poem and frame it... anything to represent their worth to your life. You are worthy of happiness, value yourself, your existence and treasure those memories.

PETAL POWER     

Upon your saddest day

You take a daisy flower

You pick petal for each of your woes

And count them by the hour

And when they become a stem

And petals line the floor

Gather them up in your loving arms

Put them in your store

When you enter spirit land

It be snowing like Daisy Dell

Flowers thrown in celebration

By faces you can tell

Then you throw your own

And you will include the stems

Cause that’s what bound these petals together

A meaning to and end

He will pick up the last flower

Of this daisy chain

Reunited and delighted

Connected once again

A simple daisy flower

Messages you can’t ignore

A petal for each of your woes

Are littering the floor

So on your saddest days

You take a daisy flower

Feel free to pick a petal for each of your woes

And count them by the hour

For your heart will glue them all together again

When it’s time to travel above

For your memories a gift in your pocket

The daisy chain of love…..

TonyWK