Feeling alone.

[kellyb2]

Hi

its my first time doing anything like this.

I moved to Australia 2008.

I had been home sick but not to bad.

I have always been terrified of death but it’s never really thought about it.

until my daughter was almost 6 months old in 2015 it hit me bad.

I would wake up 4 5 times a night crying panic attacks.

cried myself to sleep and just felt really down and full of anxiety of loosing my daughter or her loosing me.

I coped with it pretty well for almost 6 years.

then this year my mum went into hospital had lots of good news bad news.

so I had to go the doctors because I knew I wouldn’t cope.

my mum never left hospital she died in august in the uk.

so i couldn’t see her and hadn’t seen her since 2019.

now I feel more depressed than ever feel alone even tho I have 2 kids and a husband.

and really homesick.

[Sophie_M]

Hey Kelly,

A warm welcome to the Beyond Blue forums, 

We're very thankful for you sharing your story here and letting us in on how you've been coping as of late. We're so sorry to hear about the passing of your mother. We can't imagine the heartbreak of losing her during these restrictive and uncertain times. We can hear how important she is to you, so if you'd like to share a bit more about her with us we would love to hear. 

Please know that you've come to a safe space and our wonderful community is here to offer as much support and advice as you need. It sounds like you're in a really tough space and it might help to talk it out. We'd recommend getting in touch with Griefline - 1300 845 745. GriefLine provides counselling support services free of charge to individuals who are experiencing loss and grief. One of the friendly counsellors can offer you some support but also provide you with advice and referrals for seeing a counsellor in a more ongoing way. 

We're really grateful that you decided to reach out here today. Hopefully, a few of our community members will come by to welcome you to our friendly online community. 

[Megzt84]

Hi Kellyb2,

I’m really sorry for your loss. It must be so hard to be away from your family in the UK at this time and not have the option of going home.

i know you mentioned you saw your doctor. Have they helped point you in the direction of being able to speak to a professional? I think it would be important to speak to someone without judgement.

Also as hard as it is just remember that hopefully soon we will have more freedom and you should be able to go home to see family and friends.

Given your circumstances is sounds like you need to get home to the UK to be able to grieve properly and see family and friends you grew up with. It must be incredible hard and you need to take care of yourself

[kellyb2]

Thank you so much.

the doctor gave me antidepressants and a referral to a councillor.

we are looking to go the uk next year I am happy but also scared because she won’t be there.

[kellyb2]

Thank you so much.

she was the centre of everyone’s world no one had a bad word to say about her.

me my dad and 4 sisters are just completely lost.

we are lucky enough to have a really close family they are all looking out for us.

[Mk2692]

Hi Kellyb2,

I'm so sorry for your loss. It must be hard loosing someone and not being able to see them or do anything to help them. The pandemic hasn't made things easy for anyone and I'm sure you would've been there if you could. It is normal to feel depressed and lonely even if you have plenty of feelings surrounding you. I think you might find some ease from speaking to a counsellor and taking the medications prescribed by the doctor. Take the time you need to grieve and be patient with the healing process. Try to surround yourself with friends and family if you can and reach out here or to a friend if you need it. Hopefully you'll be able to travel soon and finally say your goodbyes.

[manpreetrockerji]

I'm sorry for your loss

[kellyb2]

Thank you.

[kellyb2]

Thank you.