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Sophie_M Welcome to the Grief and Loss section
  • replies: 27

Everyone’s experience of grief or loss is unique. You might experience all kinds of difficult or overwhelming emotions, and you might sometimes wonder if the sadness will ever end. This is a normal reaction to loss. There is no right or wrong way to ... View more

Everyone’s experience of grief or loss is unique. You might experience all kinds of difficult or overwhelming emotions, and you might sometimes wonder if the sadness will ever end. This is a normal reaction to loss. There is no right or wrong way to grieve, but it can help to allow yourself to: share your grief, and let others support you. This forum category is for all discussions relating to how grief and loss has affected you, providing a space for you to express your feelings, discuss difficult moments and anniversaries, and honour the memories of your lost loved ones. Please be aware that threads in this forum may contain discussions of self-harm and suicide.

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JJJ103 Re:No goodbye
  • replies: 1

So last Thursday I received a message from someone outside the family saying my dad was in hospital. They later in the night told me he had 3-5 days left to live. So I decided to go in first thing in the morning with my son. Unfortunately the next mo... View more

So last Thursday I received a message from someone outside the family saying my dad was in hospital. They later in the night told me he had 3-5 days left to live. So I decided to go in first thing in the morning with my son. Unfortunately the next morning, I received a message from my dads aunt saying he had passed. I rang the hospital and asked for a viewing, was told the social worker would call me back. Fourty minutes later she did, and said I couldn't because of covid (my dad didn't die from covid). Anyhow I later found out that my mother and brothers had been in at around that time. I also found out that my father had carried a picture of my son and I in his wallet and had been begging the hospital to contact us, but because of my mother saying not to contact me he was denied that last wish. I should state that both my brothers are intellectually disabled. And that my mother and daughter teamed up about three years ago so that my daughter could get her own centrelink payment (just before her 17th birthday,) unfortunately I work full time so she couldn't get a full payment unless she had to move out of home. So as a family we were divided, I couldn't forgive them for the way if all went down. Then I had to get my mother's permission to have a viewing at the funeral home. I was granted a closed viewing. I was misled about there being a funeral/service and was sent photos afterwards. Unfortunately the coffin is completely different to the one we seen. I accept it was my dads time to go, but the lies have added extra unnecessary harm to my son and I.

PippiJanet Loss of family
  • replies: 2

Last year I lost my family. I ended an abusive marriage and my adult children now don't want me in their lives. My first grandchild was born in February nd I am facing Christmas without the joy of him being in my life. My ex has to be 'right and will... View more

Last year I lost my family. I ended an abusive marriage and my adult children now don't want me in their lives. My first grandchild was born in February nd I am facing Christmas without the joy of him being in my life. My ex has to be 'right and will say anything to discredit me. I don't understand this level of cruelty.

Teza68 Greif loss
  • replies: 10

Hi, just on 12 months ago I lost my wife who ive been with for 32 years. Still till today I am emotionally sensitive, She past in her sleep unexpectedly with me cuddling her when I woke in the morning she was dead in my arms. Ambulance came and tried... View more

Hi, just on 12 months ago I lost my wife who ive been with for 32 years. Still till today I am emotionally sensitive, She past in her sleep unexpectedly with me cuddling her when I woke in the morning she was dead in my arms. Ambulance came and tried to resuscitate her for 30 minutes to no avail. Because it was a unexpected death a police investigation was required and coronary report done, My wife was born with spina bifada and always had a difficult medical life and we were so close thru so many difficult times. I have very little motivation now always anxious, don't sleep much, I feel so empty inside that I have latch on to a old female freind for support only to be destroying that with overload her with texts doubting her support for me because of my own insecurity demanding constant reassurance of her friendship if I don't hear from her within hours, don't know how to stop this anxiety

mrob Advice needed
  • replies: 5

Hello all my name is Mark and I have posted here before but I have a question I have lost 4 family members in the last four years and I am still struggling so bad with dealing with the loss I have been seeing a Psychologist but I feel that I am just ... View more

Hello all my name is Mark and I have posted here before but I have a question I have lost 4 family members in the last four years and I am still struggling so bad with dealing with the loss I have been seeing a Psychologist but I feel that I am just going around in circles and I tend to feel worse off I have spoken to a friend and they have said a group environment where there are other people dealing with this may be a better option Any advice or help will be greatly and gladly accepted Thanking you Mark

Lloyd61 Sad news
  • replies: 2

Sorry to unload here, feel very disconnected from others that knew my friend. Had taken last week off to enjoy some time with my partner, but returned to work this week (Tuesday) to find a letter on my desk. Looking at the return address I had a bad ... View more

Sorry to unload here, feel very disconnected from others that knew my friend. Had taken last week off to enjoy some time with my partner, but returned to work this week (Tuesday) to find a letter on my desk. Looking at the return address I had a bad feeling about the contents. Sure enough, it was sent from the partner of a RAAF friend advising me that he had passed away from brain cancer last January 2019, had taken her this time to track me down. He was a very personal person, so felt very privileged that I was one of the few he kept in contact with since we both discharged back in the 90s, but he never indicated he was of ill health. His passing has impacted me more so than even my own mothers passing last year.Feeling rather lost.

Weather Struggling with the loss of my mum
  • replies: 2

Hi I am new here. I am 15 and lost my mum early this year from cancer. She was sick for a while before so I fee like I’ve been dealing with anxiety about that for a while but now I’m feeling lonely and lost and I don’t know how to cope. I have people... View more

Hi I am new here. I am 15 and lost my mum early this year from cancer. She was sick for a while before so I fee like I’ve been dealing with anxiety about that for a while but now I’m feeling lonely and lost and I don’t know how to cope. I have people around to support me but even though they’re well meaning I feel so distant and I guess it’s hard because most of them just don’t know what it’s like. Sometimes I feel really helpless and that really scares me because I feel trapped and I don’t want it to be like this forever. I’m just wondering how long it is going to take for me to be able to cope because right now I struggle to get out of bed and feel so broken. I really really miss her and feel so sad when I think of the future without her. I don’t really know what to do anymore.

Not_Batman Lost a good friend
  • replies: 4

im sorry if this is a bit too much.. She was Hit by a car that probably didnt even see her, and left on the side of the road. She was still alive when when i met her at the vet, driven by a passerby, and hung on long enough to recognise me, with a ta... View more

im sorry if this is a bit too much.. She was Hit by a car that probably didnt even see her, and left on the side of the road. She was still alive when when i met her at the vet, driven by a passerby, and hung on long enough to recognise me, with a tail wag, as i carried her in to the O.R. I stayed with her while she was in pain, laying there and holding her. She knew i was there, but i could see her slipping away. Her heart stopped just after my wife arrived. I cant believe she is gone. As an anx/dep sufferer, i’m trying to keep strong and process the feelings in my own way, but my wife is taking it very hard. we had her 11 years, and she was the most beautiful dog. We got her before we had kids of our own, so she was essentially child #1 Any advice for our grief, particularly how i Can help my wife? Not_Batman

Adrian_S my Daughter
  • replies: 1

hi this is a different loss that I'm not coping with, my Beautiful daughter was pregnant with her first baby and at 32 weeks she had a massive brain aneurysm and was rushed to the hospital for an emergency birth and then a emergency operation to reli... View more

hi this is a different loss that I'm not coping with, my Beautiful daughter was pregnant with her first baby and at 32 weeks she had a massive brain aneurysm and was rushed to the hospital for an emergency birth and then a emergency operation to relieve pressure on the brain, My daughter and Grand Daughter where both in ICU for 2 weeks, Bub is well but my Daughter has now had 4 operations on the brain and has been fighting for 15 months now, it breaks my heart a little every day to see her fight just to do basic things, i constantly think about her and helping her every day has taken a massive toll on me, i find it hard to talk to anyone about it because at the end of the day it doesn't change anything, and im worried because it is now physically making me sick,

Missmoo2305 I can’t cope with the loss of my mum, mother and father in law during pandemic
  • replies: 2

Hi everyone, I am new to this forum. I’m 42 years old and have had the worst year of my life. On January 15th my father in law was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer, multiple organs. He died on March 15th. My mother in law had battled ovarian cancer whic... View more

Hi everyone, I am new to this forum. I’m 42 years old and have had the worst year of my life. On January 15th my father in law was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer, multiple organs. He died on March 15th. My mother in law had battled ovarian cancer which also spread to other organs for 2 years. She died in May 3rd. My beautiful mum had fought cancer for over a year and lost her battle 3 weeks after my mother in law on May 23rd. We lost 3 dear family members in 10 weeks. I didn’t see my mum on her last Mother’s Day because of Victoria’s lockdown rules. I can’t get that time back...I’m also an essential worker and have had to work through most of the pandemic. I don’t feel like I have been able to grieve properly and now my mums birthday is approach on 26th October. I haven’t even been able to go to her grave since she was buried on June 1st due to lockdown rules. I am getting really emotional again and feeling angry, frustrated and devastated. I’ve lost my best friend in my mum and my next dearest in my mother in law. It’s been impossible to deal with. I’ve lost mum. Hubby has lost both his parents. Nothing seems to make me feel happy anymore. We are just trying to get through each day and hopefully things will get easier with time.

AndiSolo Today has been rough
  • replies: 3

Hi Everyone. Two days ago was the birthday of someone I used to be married to. She died in 2006 when our kids were 9 and 11. At the time, she and i had been divorced for about 8 years and we had been sharing custody of our kids. I found out through a... View more

Hi Everyone. Two days ago was the birthday of someone I used to be married to. She died in 2006 when our kids were 9 and 11. At the time, she and i had been divorced for about 8 years and we had been sharing custody of our kids. I found out through a grandparent that, for the first time, my daughter went to the grave site. I am so pleased that she is acknowledging her grief. This post, though, is selfishly about me. The eldest of the two has not spoken to me in four years and the youngest, although living with me, puts a very clear wall between me and her grief. I have to tell you that I'm trans. I understand how that must complicate things but, there is no doubt in my mind about the love I have for my children and the depth of my desire to reach out and connect. That connection does not occur. I went down the street this morning to get a coffee and I saw a lovely mum playing with her toddler after probably dropping some of her other kids at school. The beautiful little kid was reaching out to their parent and it reminded me of how much things used to be like that with my kids. I am so sad. I don't know what to do with this sadness. Maybe it's mine forever.