Alone and grieving my daughter

[Sadmum29]

My 29 yo daughter passed away 4 mths ago.
I have lost my only comfort,my friend,my sweet girl.
She was given an overdose of an illicit drug.
This is now under investigation by Police.
It's hard enough coming to terms with her death
The extra stress and heartache of the investigation,
Is a lot to cope with.
I have no support ,no family near,or friends, the only
Person that would be helping is gone.
This is a hard road to be on, I don't want it !

[Sophie_M]

Hey Sadmum29,

Welcome our forums. We are so glad you've reached out here and shared what you're going through. We are so sorry to hear about the loss of your daughters and the stress of the investigation. It is heartbreaking to hear about it and we can understand how incredibly difficult this must be for you. You've come to a safe, non-judgmental place where you can talk about what you're feeling. We hope you will find the support you need from our wonderful community members who may be able to share their own experience of loss and provide their wisdom and guidance to help you navigate this dark time.

May we ask if you've been talking to a counselor or your GP about how you've been feeling lately? Please know that there is support available. You can contact our Support Service anytime on 1300 22 4636 or get in touch with us on Webchat 1pm-12am AEST here: www.beyondblue.org.au/getsupport . We also urge you to contact Griefline on 1300 845 745 7 days a week 6 am to midnight AEST. They provide dedicated support for people processing grief and loss.

We hope you will continue to post here on the forums and let us know how you're doing, whenever you feel up to it.

[geoff]

Hello Dear Mum, I could not possibly put myself in your position and truly my deepest sympathy and heartfelt condolences, I wish I could express the words for the amount of pain you are going through, but please know I am so terribly sorry.

This police investigation is only going to prolong your agony and something you wished didn't need to be carried out and as painful as this is, it's important to know how and who was responsible to make your mind at some peaceful ease, which certainly would not be easy.

It must be extremely so difficult to come onto a site and express your sorrow, your feelings to people you don't even know about the loss of your only friend, your daughter, but what it has done is made friends with so many people, who want to be with and share their condolences in this tragedy.

My heart opens up to you and hope you can come back to us.

My Best and thoughts to you.

Geoff. x

[pl515p1]

Hello Sadmum29, I offer my sincerest sorrow, and condolences for your loss.

I know these are only the words of a stranger, but I feel a particular connection to your situation, I too have recently lost my best friend, in my case however it was my father.

I too am without family support as they are in another state, and as my fathers passing was unexpected, I had to go through forensics which involved several weeks or worry and stress.

I think we are both on the same strand of the fabric that makes up this life, though, I would never claim to know what you are going through, as everyone is different.

I was wondering if there was a way you most communicated with your daughter, be it via phone, or face to face? See, dad and I would talk everyday, if it were not face to face, it would be by phone, and I have found that I still talk to him everyday.

I talk to his photo, or I leave a voice recording on his phone, just telling him about my day, telling him I miss him.
I would not say doing this makes me feel better, but it seems to come out naturally so I do not stop it, I cry when I speak, but the words must be spoken.

Others prefer to write down what they wish to say, but either way, I have found that by continuing to converse with dad, I keep the connection we have strong and present.

I have been told that doing activities or things that you once enjoyed may also help, I tried to go for a bike ride like we would, but it was too soon for me.

Was there a particular meal, movie, or song that she liked? Myself, I find it difficult to eat or watch/listen to things dad liked, but it may prove helpful to you as everyone is different.

Do you have something you cherish of hers? I hope you can find comfort in this, perhaps you can continue your special bond in some small way, a special lunch in the park, hold close a favourite item of her clothing etc, for example I put my father's work jumper around my shoulders, it feels so comforting and smells of him.

You should know that there is no right or wrong way to grieve, do what feels right for you, I just take it day by day, as no doubt you are doing.

Each day seems more difficult than the last, but we are getting closer each day to seeing them again, well that is how I look at it.

I hope you can find some peace, please take care.