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Grief and loss

Support and advice following the loss of a family member, partner, spouse or someone close to you.

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Sophie_M Welcome to the Grief and Loss section
  • replies: 27

Everyone’s experience of grief or loss is unique. You might experience all kinds of difficult or overwhelming emotions, and you might sometimes wonder if the sadness will ever end. This is a normal reaction to loss. There is no right or wrong way to ... View more

Everyone’s experience of grief or loss is unique. You might experience all kinds of difficult or overwhelming emotions, and you might sometimes wonder if the sadness will ever end. This is a normal reaction to loss. There is no right or wrong way to grieve, but it can help to allow yourself to: share your grief, and let others support you. This forum category is for all discussions relating to how grief and loss has affected you, providing a space for you to express your feelings, discuss difficult moments and anniversaries, and honour the memories of your lost loved ones. Please be aware that threads in this forum may contain discussions of self-harm and suicide.

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Adamnsw Am I losing my mind?
  • replies: 1

Hi,my dad was killed in a car accident 24 yrs ago and my mum was seriously injured she died from suicide 6 months later I was 18yo now 42,I also lost my grandmother 6months ago and all I think about is the 3 of them 100s of times a day everyday.its g... View more

Hi,my dad was killed in a car accident 24 yrs ago and my mum was seriously injured she died from suicide 6 months later I was 18yo now 42,I also lost my grandmother 6months ago and all I think about is the 3 of them 100s of times a day everyday.its getting that bad I feel like I'm losing my mind as I get sick feeling in stomach and anxiety through the roof.is this normal? Thank in advance.

Witty_Moniker In a deep hole
  • replies: 9

Hi. First time posting and I'm not really sure why I am. I've been in deep holes before but this time is different, it's like I hit rock bottom then found a way to keep digging. Now my life is a real mess. I didn't realise it could get this bad. So h... View more

Hi. First time posting and I'm not really sure why I am. I've been in deep holes before but this time is different, it's like I hit rock bottom then found a way to keep digging. Now my life is a real mess. I didn't realise it could get this bad. So how did I get here. Well I had something akin to a breakdown a little over a year ago, so I quit my job so I could get myself back on track. I had savings in the bank so I wasn't worried. It's something I've done before a couple of times but this time covid hit. Things started spiraling out of control. At this point I can't handle talking to people in person and don't answer the phone. The only time I leave the house is to go food shopping, which I do early hours of the morning when no one is around. I can't seem to be able to get myself to do anything. Housework, gardening, putting the bins out, even getting the mail from the letter box seems impossible. My house is a sty. I'm rapidly running out of money. I tried signing up for centerlink online but I can't. It won't accept my ID. I just can't get myself to go there to talk to someone. Bills are piling up and I assume the phone call from a private number that I didn't answer today was a debt collector. My car is now unlicensed as I didn't pay the rego. I don't have the money to pay it anyway. My family live out in the country so now I can't go to see them for xmas. I still have to come up with a plausible excuse for that. I haven't told them yet. I don't know why I'm writing all this, or what difference it could possibly make. I just don't know what to do. TLDR - I broke down, royally messed things up and am now lost without a map.

FaithHopeLove I’ve lost two friends to suicide this year
  • replies: 12

Hi everyone. I lost a good friend to suicide in April. I recently found out he took his life on my birthday. Then I found out on Friday night, another old friend has taken her life. This has been a tough year. It has been hard also as I live alone wi... View more

Hi everyone. I lost a good friend to suicide in April. I recently found out he took his life on my birthday. Then I found out on Friday night, another old friend has taken her life. This has been a tough year. It has been hard also as I live alone with no pets. My solace has come from staying busy with my online courses and staying in touch with Church people. But it has still been hard. Finding out about my friend on Friday night was a real shock as her life seemed so good and successful.

Nirvaye I want to be a support for my friend who is in grief :(
  • replies: 6

Hi, I am Prabina. Recently I have been in contact with one of my friend who has lost his wife. It has only been around 5 months she committed suicide. They have a baby. The thing is he is in Newzealand right now. He shared how he feels- emotionally u... View more

Hi, I am Prabina. Recently I have been in contact with one of my friend who has lost his wife. It has only been around 5 months she committed suicide. They have a baby. The thing is he is in Newzealand right now. He shared how he feels- emotionally unstable at this moment. I want to be a support for him. But I am afraid what if my opinion put him more at risk? I told him to seek for counselling service. He shared that given this covid situation it might be costly for him. He is looking for for some private counselling session. Hoping from you people how to react in an appropriate way. Thankyou!

kody_love Grandparents dying, don't know what to do
  • replies: 1

Both of my grandparents have been recently diagnosed with cancers. My grandfather's is the most aggressive and fast-acting, already inflating half of his face with the aggressively face-paced tumour. My grandmother refuses to touch on the topic of he... View more

Both of my grandparents have been recently diagnosed with cancers. My grandfather's is the most aggressive and fast-acting, already inflating half of his face with the aggressively face-paced tumour. My grandmother refuses to touch on the topic of her cancer because she wants us to focus on our grandfather. We're all really quite close. I guess I just don't really know what to do.

tj81 So sad
  • replies: 2

My grandma is dying. Diagnosed in 2019 with lung cancer, 2 weeks ago dementia and had to stop her chemo meds, 1 week ago delirium, 5 days ago the cancer has spread to her brain. They have given her a few weeks. She turns 86 on Dec 6. It’s her 66th we... View more

My grandma is dying. Diagnosed in 2019 with lung cancer, 2 weeks ago dementia and had to stop her chemo meds, 1 week ago delirium, 5 days ago the cancer has spread to her brain. They have given her a few weeks. She turns 86 on Dec 6. It’s her 66th wedding anniversary on Dec 18. We don’t know if she’ll make it. Im so so sad. My grandparents are my world. They raised me. Gave me everything they could. Taught me things. I’m sad I never learnt how to make her pavlova, but why did I have to when she was going to be around forever right? She is a shadow of her former self. There’s no sparkle left in her eyes. My 9year old daughter cries because “if great grandma doesn’t remember who you are mummy, then how will she remember who I am because I haven’t been born for as long as you?” My husband doesn’t understand my grief. Everyone dies so why be sad because you know it’s going to happen? My grandpa is heart broken. The love of his life is dying in front of him and there isn’t anything he can do to stop it. He lays awake at night waiting for her to fall asleep but praying she will wake in the morning. I am dying in the inside, trying to hold my shit together. There is nothing I can do and I hate it!

Sweesoft 2020: A Painful Year
  • replies: 4

Many of us have lost loved ones during this pandemic. This will surely leave a permanent scar and will be seen throughout history. This has been a stressful year as a lot of the people I know have also lost their jobs and all. How about you guys? Do ... View more

Many of us have lost loved ones during this pandemic. This will surely leave a permanent scar and will be seen throughout history. This has been a stressful year as a lot of the people I know have also lost their jobs and all. How about you guys? Do you know people who have been affected by the virus?

Sadmum29 Alone and grieving my daughter
  • replies: 3

My 29 yo daughter passed away 4 mths ago. I have lost my only comfort,my friend,my sweet girl. She was given an overdose of an illicit drug. This is now under investigation by Police. It's hard enough coming to terms with her death The extra stress a... View more

My 29 yo daughter passed away 4 mths ago. I have lost my only comfort,my friend,my sweet girl. She was given an overdose of an illicit drug. This is now under investigation by Police. It's hard enough coming to terms with her death The extra stress and heartache of the investigation, Is a lot to cope with. I have no support ,no family near,or friends, the only Person that would be helping is gone. This is a hard road to be on, I don't want it !

Dented Multiple Grief Feelings
  • replies: 1

I am looking for someone i can relate to as i feel alone, Oct 9 my Fiance of 10 years her remaining parent her mother died of cancer, She is in Jakarta and for obvious reasons i cant see her, Oct 14 my 84 year old father was admitted to Hospital with... View more

I am looking for someone i can relate to as i feel alone, Oct 9 my Fiance of 10 years her remaining parent her mother died of cancer, She is in Jakarta and for obvious reasons i cant see her, Oct 14 my 84 year old father was admitted to Hospital with stage 4 heart and kidney failure, all medications have seized and his defib was turned off on the 17th of Nov, his prognosis is possible 2 to 4 months to live and he is at home now soon to receive care, My 80 yr old mother has terminal cancer she was given 1 year to live 2 years ago, and now her cancer has returned and we are awaiting what we can do for treatment, which i understand is highly unlikely. Even though i know there are many people that understand and have many worse issues than myself i do not know how to deal with so much sadness in such a short space of time. I am 47 a father and live with my adult son and have regular visits with my teenage son. I do my best to morally support my mum and dad and attend appointments, so what i am asking, how do i find a way to deal with, learn and possibly grow through watching 2 people you love slowly die in front of you at the same time. I do have many mental health services currently helping me but Any more advice would be greatly appreciated.

Riri77 Lost my husband
  • replies: 5

I recently lost my husband who was in his 40s and after his passing a lot of uncovered secrets hit me in the face ontop of having to deal with all his family memebers attacking me for trying to fulfill his last wish I’m left in a state of so much con... View more

I recently lost my husband who was in his 40s and after his passing a lot of uncovered secrets hit me in the face ontop of having to deal with all his family memebers attacking me for trying to fulfill his last wish I’m left in a state of so much confusion. I don’t know how to feel, I’m lost confused angry hurt hateful alone and torn because his not here anymore and there’s no1 who understands to turn too.