In a deep hole

[Witty_Moniker]

Hi. First time posting and I'm not really sure why I am. I've been in deep holes before but this time is different, it's like I hit rock bottom then found a way to keep digging. Now my life is a real mess. I didn't realise it could get this bad.

So how did I get here. Well I had something akin to a breakdown a little over a year ago, so I quit my job so I could get myself back on track. I had savings in the bank so I wasn't worried. It's something I've done before a couple of times but this time covid hit. Things started spiraling out of control.

At this point I can't handle talking to people in person and don't answer the phone. The only time I leave the house is to go food shopping, which I do early hours of the morning when no one is around. I can't seem to be able to get myself to do anything. Housework, gardening, putting the bins out, even getting the mail from the letter box seems impossible. My house is a sty.

I'm rapidly running out of money. I tried signing up for centerlink online but I can't. It won't accept my ID. I just can't get myself to go there to talk to someone. Bills are piling up and I assume the phone call from a private number that I didn't answer today was a debt collector. My car is now unlicensed as I didn't pay the rego. I don't have the money to pay it anyway. My family live out in the country so now I can't go to see them for xmas. I still have to come up with a plausible excuse for that. I haven't told them yet.

I don't know why I'm writing all this, or what difference it could possibly make. I just don't know what to do.

TLDR - I broke down, royally messed things up and am now lost without a map.

[Sophie_M]

Hey Witty Moniker,

Welcome to our forums and thank you for reaching out here tonight. It's not always easy to reach out and share what you are going through and we are so glad that you've taken this brave step. We can hear that you're dealing with a great deal of anxiety and uncerainty about your life situation at the moment and feeling quite stuck. Are you currently or have you previously worked with a mental health professional? When feeling nearly paralyzed, it can be immensely helpful to seek out another point of view who can bring other options and possibilities to our awareness. It can be very difficult trying to find all the solutions on our own. We want you to know that there is help available to you and that you don't have to feel all alone. For one, you are in a safe, non-judgmental space in these forums and as well, there are trained, caring counsellors that you can chat to as well.

You can contact our Support Service anytime by phone on 1300 22 4636, via webchat at https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/get-immediate-support (1pm to midnight AEST) or via email at infoline@beyondblue.org.au They will help you find the right type of support in your area.

Please keep posting here to let us know how you are doing, whenever you feel up to it, and remember, you are not alone

[Witty_Moniker]

"Are you currently or have you previously worked with a mental health professional?" No. I've always dealt with it myself and managed to keep it hidden from everyone.

[geoff]

Hello Witty Moniker, thanks for being so brave to post your comment, I'm sure there were times before when you wanted to do this, but back away, that's understandable and I was in the same position years ago, until finally with a sudden boast, it's typed out and posted.

To be confronted by someone who talks incessantly, non stop about all sorts of issues without considering how you are feeling or goes on about all the health problems they've suffered from is not entertaining at all, it only pushes you deeper.

To be able to either talk or set up an account with Centrelink can I leave this with you, but will continue after this

-To get a CRN, you can sign in to myGov or call us to establish your identity. We'll support you to set up a Centrelink online account. You may not have a CRN if you've never had a payment or service from us before, or you may have to download the MyGov app for your mobile phone.

Another option and I know it involves talking to someone, and very sorry as I was in a similar position as you, and the thought scared the daylights out of me, is to contact Anglicare, which I did, they were able to stop all those annoying phone calls, the mail constantly sent out by the debt collectors, straight away.

Can I continue but I don't want to overdo this post because I know what you are going through.

Please take care.

Geoff.

[Witty_Moniker]

Hi Geoff thanks for your reply.

I signed up for Mygov, that's easy enough. It's the digital identity part that has me screwed. I can't prove who I am, therefore can't actually get anything from centrelink. I'm trying to psych myself up to go in there monday and try to sort something out.

As for Anglicare, I doubt that I would qualify for anything from them. I've never been diagnosed with anything and I'm certainly no Christian. Besides that having someone at my house is terrifying.

[Witty_Moniker]

Dealing with cretinlink is like beating your head against a wall.

[geoff]

Hi Witty Moniker, absolutely and totally agree as I also had so much trouble to open myGov and to accept my identification, then for no reason, I tried once again a month later and there were no problems, this, however, doesn't mean it will happen to you.

You can ring Centrelink or when they prompt you for them to ring you back maybe a good option, then they can help you through this.

I've looked on the net and found this :

To complete our identity requirements, we need 1 original document from each of these categories:
a commencement document to show your birth or arrival in Australia
a primary document to show the use of your identity in the community
a secondary document to show the use of your identity in the community.

If you copy and paste this in your search browser then it might seem clearer.

Have the identity papers in front of you when you talk to Centrelink and if for any reason you need to post the originals to a Centrelink office they will post them back to you.

The best time to ring Centrelink is always debatable, but the phone line opens at 8 am until 8pm, while the opening hours are a bit later 8.30am, best to ring first thing in the morning and take advantage of them ringing you back.

Let us know how you get on.

Geoff.

[Witty_Moniker]

I went into centrelink yesterday to prove who I am and get a linking code and crn. It took ages. I then used that to sign up online but they need me to go to the bank to get proof of how much money I don't have.

Since I couldn't sleep I went to the licensing center this morning to see if there was a way to pay the rego on my car. It was a flat out no. I have to take it over the pits. I know it needs some work before it would pass. I can't afford to do it.

I made myself physically sick dealing with all this. I've spent the last 2 hours curled up in the fetal position on my bed.

So I find myself in a position of trying to find a job close to home, but also one where I don't have to deal with people too much. That's a pretty big ask but if I don't apply for jobs I will get kicked off centrelink. Am I supposed to waste everyone's time and apply for jobs that I can't do? Idk.

[geoff]

Hello Witty Moniker, I'm sorry all of this is happening, especially around this time of the year.

Don't worry, over the years I have had all the problems as well, new governments take power and they all want to do is make their stamp and change what they are able to, it can become unbearable, especially to those desperately needing support.

You can pay your rego online, it's so much easier and avoid all the queues.

Years ago all you had to do was give Centrelink a receipt from the ATM machine.

(With Anglicare, I had no religion at all, but this was never asked, remember the Salvos help anybody, doesn't matter what they believe in.)

Hope you can get back to us.

Best wishes.

Geoff.

[Witty_Moniker]

I can't pay the rego as it's overdue. That's why I went in, to see if there was a way around it for special circumstances or something.

Thanks for trying. I'm just useless and have made a mess of everything.