Zoned out and feeling detached

[jay_dee497]

Hi everyone,

This is my firdst post on here but thought it's the place to seek help and maybe get some feedback on my situation. At present I work in a technical job on the road and am able to work from home. I find myself isolated a fair bit which I feel affects my relationships with people. I have suffered from depression since I was 17 (now 40) which I find has affected my relationships, even through I wasn't aware of it. Alot fo the time I feel confused and exhausted from daily anxiety. Feels like I'm always over tired where I feel uptight regulary even though I consider myself to be laid back. I really enjoy sociallising but don't seem to fit the mould at work, which I really domn't know what sort of job I am aligned to. I feel zoned out alot and disconnected from the world. My mind runs around in circles most of the day where it feels like I'm having a continuous mid-life crisis. Some times I may ose contact with people for a month or so and don't even realise it. I have trouble reading people at work in an office environment where I feel I am a different person to who I really am. I've lost my father recently, and this has added extra stress, along with dealing withmy brother who is recovering from a drug addiction and mental health issues which has putmuch strain on the family and myself. My mind feels foggy alot where I used to drink almost daily but have reduced it to 1-2 times per week over the last month to cut back. I think I've used alcohol to self medicate but I dont want to do that anymore, I want to enjoy life as it is. Wondering if anyone has any advice? I'm currently single and live alone in my own house.

[BballJ]

Hi jay_dee497,

Firstly, welcome to the forums. Well done for posting your story and letting us know how you are feeling, it really is good that you have and is generally a great first step to take on the road to recovery.

Many things you are describing I have experienced as well, the zoning out and the being so over tired during the day all from general day to day anxiety. I have found that suffering from any mental health issue can put strain on any relationship as your mind almost takes over and doesn't allow you to fully be yourself.

My first piece of advice would be to possibly go and speak to your local GP about a mental health plan, if you haven't done it already and they may suggest speaking to a psychologist to help you sort through how you are feeling and why you are feeling the way you are. I have suffered from anxiety (along with OCD and mild depression) for around 10 years and only once when I actually seeked out proper help from a psychologist did I start to find some peace and not allowing it to run my life, speaking to someone and getting everything out there really does help which is what these forums are for as well, but keep in mind most of us are mental health sufferers who use our experience to give advice and support each other.

I am sorry about the passing of your father as well, I can see how that would add extra stress to your life as well along with helping your brother.

Please also remember you can call the Beyond Blue helpline on 1300 22 4636 24/7 to discuss anything you are feeling.

Please, post back as much as you like, I am always happy to talk.

My best for you,

Jay

[geoff]

hi Jay_dee, there is much you have mentioned in your post which seem to be of great concern, and I say this because you have been using alcohol to self medicate, and there is a reason why you have been doing this, whether it's because of how you feel at work, or your the concern for your brother or being lonely living by yourself, probably all of these contribute, but being someone who has also self medicated using alcohol, in the end it doesn't help.
You must be close to your brother so it has affected you a great deal and feeling as though it was a difficut effort to help him, and yes it would be, because it's a daily issue that you had to face and by living alone you don't have anyone to talk to, this certainly doesn't help.
Well done for cutting down your intake, but I don't feel that you are strong enough to cope with this and need to get help from your doctor and when this happens then you can get back to what you had enjoyed in life.
How is your brother coping at the moment and does he rely on you when you're off work, because this may need to be talked about. Geoff.

[OhmeOhmy]

Hey jay_dee497

Feeling zoned out and detached is how I feel at the moment too so your post jumped out at me. I have never really felt like I "fit in" at work or any place on a social level but that doesn't bother me any more as I've realised most people feel the same way and maybe not fitting in is a good thing 🙂

I have used alcohol to self medicate in the past but have been sober now for 10 months as I have found that drinking always makes me feel worse in the long run. Well done for cutting down, you have good self control. for me it's all or nothing lol so nothing is best.

Sorry to her you lost your Dad, loss always brings about a massive internal shift in our ways of being, doing and thinking and maybe you are experiencing that shift at the moment. I have a brother with mental health and substance abuse problems and a sister with an intellectual disability and although I care for them and will help when required I have learned that my number one responsibility is to keep myself healthy and well and sometimes that means saying no to others. It is hard to hold the space for the grief of others in the family too in regards to your Dad's loss. Sometimes you just want someone to hold the space for you hey.

Reaching out like you have on here is a great way to help yourself and access support. Don't be afraid to share with mates or family that you have been struggling a bit lately. You don't have to have a big deep and meaningful conversation if that isn't your thing, sometimes jut saying "It's been a bit rough lately" is enough. I suggest taking some time to do what you love. I am heading off on a 1 week road trip in a few weeks, I've made up some playlists for the car and I intend to drive, sing, visit, spend some time in nature and just generally have a break. What do you love doing? Is there a special or significant place you'd like to visit? Do that if you can. Even a weekend away can help shift things in a good direction 🙂