Troubles at Work

[Janeie]

I'm struggling at work.

my relationship with my boss has got under my skin so much that whenever I have to spend prolonged time with her I want to go to the bathroom and cry as soon as it's over.

I feel like I have so much to give and so many ideas but am shut down all the time. It's not like she's 'evil' she's just not in anyway interested in people, in developing them, challenging them, nurturing them in fact it's the opposite - we are cogs in a machine.

i know it's my fault and I should look for another job but my confidence and resilience has taken a beating. I moved house recently and am still feeling very unsettled and am struggling so don't feel I could take another big change 😟 Plus I probably couldn't find a job anyway.

I feel like I'm being miserable and unprofessional. But don't know how to approach the issue or snap out of it.

[kanga_brumby]

If you can try finding alternative employment whilst you are working. Therefor if you find a job that could be the one that listens to you, and challenge you.

One job I had one of the managers for ages thought I hated him. He rarely asked me to do anything challenging. Till he sent me to a different store. Then he found out through a manager there some of the things I could do. Then we sat down had a discussion where he found out a bit more about me. I was given a promotion higher pay more responsibilities. He got more respect and a better worker as a result or someone else telling him one thing, then having a talk with me. So as i suggested try another job elsewhere.

Kanga

[blondguy]

Hi Janeie

Kanga has great advice above which can be a huge step forward for you

You dont have to 'snap' out of anything. There is nothing worse than working in an environment that makes you feel this way. Kanga is spot on by suggesting that 'talking about it' can really help too

you are not alone here Janeie in any way. I used to be a branch manager for a national supermarket chain as well as doing interviews and staff selection (human resources)

You have done well by having the courage to post. We are here for you no problem at all

my kind thoughts

Paul

[Janeie]

Thanks for your responses ❤️

So here I am awake at 2am 😟 I feel so sad and don't know how I'll get through tomorrow pretending everything is fine - obviously it doesn't work anyway, people see through it. You can't hide pain.

I have done good work for others and received an award yesterday. It doesn't matter, she just wants to focus on governance and reporting, she doesn't delegate any authority and she micro manages.

i started seeing a psychologist through our EAP. I've been twice. The first time felt like a relief to talk to someone and cry. The second time - two days ago wasn't as relieving.

i wish there was a drug I could take when I felt like this.

[blondguy]

Hi Janeie'

Thanks for posting back!

ahhhh....you have a micro manager as a boss. That is a pain....hmmm

Great work seeing the psychologist by the way. (it took me years to it..) The crying is a huge part of recovery...

Can you go and have another visit? (i did weekly visits for 7 months and burst into tears after the first two)

Just another angle.....can you see your GP for another opinion?.......just asking what your thoughts are...The GP's have much better training compared to when I was going the same as you

great to have you here Janeie

Paul

[Janeie]

I'm so sad all the time. I dread going to work. I'm so unhappy there.

i just want to cry all the time.

i know I should try to be positive and confident but it's so hard.

im getting so desperate I'm thinking of going on medication again.

After I had a relationship end I went on SSRI for three years and stopped in 2013. It was so hard to stop taking them that I'm afraid to go back on them 😔

But im really struggling...

[Janeie]

Almost 1am 😟

I guess I should start a new thread rather than writing in this 😔

[Janeie]

Still in pain.

I read somewhere you need to accept the pain and be able to sit with it. That helped a bit.

I think fundamentally I'm incredibly lonely, my self esteem is subsequently crap and I need connection.

Deep down I don't think drugs are the answer...

[Janeie]

Feeling anxious about tomorrow.

how can I increase my self esteem? Take back my power?

[kanga_brumby]

Janeie you at this stage may be over thinking it. Slow down try to do some deep breathing excersize for a bit. Try working out for a bit, walking helps set distance challenges for yourself. Then time yourself, the try to do it faster. You are in more control than you think. Don't let the monsters in your head kick you to the curb. You can be tougher then them, I have faith in you> What is faith believing in something that's not seen. If I can pull myself out (hard as it was) of the gutter. You can as well.

Kanga