Depression

Depression affects people in Australia every day. Share your own story and learn about other member’s experiences with depression.

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BeyondBlue Hello! Read this if you're not sure how to get started
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Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for ... View more

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for coming this far, we know it can be really hard to take these steps if depression is in your life - we see you and think this is a great step. To get the most out of this space we have a few tips: Get involved. The Forums work best for you when you get active and post where you can. Now, we know that can be really hard, especially when you are experiencing depression. So, if you can post something supportive to someone else here, that would be an incredible start. Speak from the heart. This community wants to know how YOU feel and what has worked for YOU. We trust that you have something unique to say and we can’t wait to hear it. Check in. Lots of the discussions in this section of the Forums have been going for years and they are some of the richest conversations we have. Keep checking in to get new ideas and offer your support. We know it can be tough to start, but when you are ready we want to hear your thoughts. If you need some time to get to know the community, that's okay! Have a look around and see where you want to get involved. Thank you for being here! Beyond Blue

Jeriava How do I talk to my doctor?
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I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really ... View more

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really scared that they’ll judge me or won’t believe anything I say. I’m really anti social so I feel like I won’t be able to say what I wanna say or I’ll say the wrong thing causing them to just dismiss me and move me along without helping. I’m just tired of feeling alone, depressed and just worthless but I’m really scared to talk to them.

AGrace SELF HELP TIPS FOR MANAGING DEPRESSION
  • replies: 132

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the ... View more

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the 5 senses Distress Tolerance – Accepting Emotions and Self Soothing Distraction – Put the thoughts/feelings aside and come back to them when you are ready to deal with them Positive Affirmations – Have some affirmations written down repeat them to yourself daily Sleep/Exercise/Diet – All 3 aspects of our lifestyle can impact the way we think/feel Increasing Pleasurable Activities – Engage in at least one pleasurable activity per day

All discussions

Mystera What is happening to me?
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Hi all, I feel that I need to talk to others as beside my work counselor there is no one out there I can really talk to. History: I met my partner a year ago when her then very ill mother she was looking after died not soon after we met. Attraction w... View more

Hi all, I feel that I need to talk to others as beside my work counselor there is no one out there I can really talk to. History: I met my partner a year ago when her then very ill mother she was looking after died not soon after we met. Attraction was instant and love developed soon after. I lived in a big city and had nice circle of work mates with whom I had good social interactions daily. My partner was in deep grief and decided to move in with me pretty much as soon as we met, to be away form her family and to be able to process her grief. I experienced her mostly sitting on the lounge, after late night stay awake and late mornings, daily. Her main hobby/pattern is to read on her tablet (rarely let this thing down). She told me that she likes reading and that she is big introvert and sociophobe. She is more on a quite side person. In time she was staying at my place we have had some good fun but still didn't go out much at all.She also shared with me some horrific abuse stories from her past, mental issues she had and that she is on the very strong dose of pain medication. I find her more on a quiet side. After six months living together she suggested to me to move to much smaller town with her (where she was born) to be closer to her old and very fragile dad.I accepted and we moved 3 months ago. I have same full time job here and she is not working as she hasn't been for last 2 years because of looking after her ill mom 24/7. She sold her house couple of years ago and she has been using that money in every day life, money that is slowly fading away. I am on a steady job but below average pay. While living with me I was covering all bills and she was contributing by buying a groceries. Since we moved here life has been very stressful. Constant work on the house, my new work was totally unprepared for my start so I felt extremely frustrated and unsupported. She tried her best to work at home along with me but it is hard for her as she is quite unorganised person, so there is a lot of mess inside of the house. Opposite of her I am very organised person and need some order to be able to feel comfortable in my surrounding.

RandR *NOTHING CHANGES IF nothing changes*
  • replies: 11

If was almost 2 years ago. At the time life felt grand. I was popular, out at least 2-3 times a week, was known as the social butterfly and was a friend of everyone but in reality, a friend of no one. You could say I've always been an extrovert, conf... View more

If was almost 2 years ago. At the time life felt grand. I was popular, out at least 2-3 times a week, was known as the social butterfly and was a friend of everyone but in reality, a friend of no one. You could say I've always been an extrovert, confident, happy to approach the unknown and always the 'YES' man in most situations. The reality of being this person over many years and almost like being on 'repeat' was that I thought I had many caring friends around me when in reality all I had were people using me for an excuse to go out, get drunk and for the most part, get high off drugs. Especially when you were the financier for every outing. I felt at the time that by going out and meeting new networks that my depression was in check and I that I was in control and accepted by society. The awful truth though was that every time I got home after a big night I constantly had a thundering and abrupt visit by that person you might be familiar with known as 'depression'. Whenever depression came late at night and tapped me on the shoulder, the feeling was cold, sharp and straight to the heart. Sound nullified, as did any good feeling I had throughout the night and that feeling that I was 'wanted' by someone, anyone. I was in this constant routine until one night when I had a hard reality check. My minute I remember having to go the toilet and the next minute I woke up in the back of an ambulance with no memory. 16 hours of straight drinking and drugs with no food took its toll. I was scared, panicked and felt all alone. I remembered Albert Einsteins definition of insanity: 'Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. It was time for things to change and more importantly, for me to make and action changes. I stopped going out for drinks and instead went out for weekend breakfasts with friends who I had known for a long time and were always there and vice versa, I changed my mobile number and stopped contacting the 'party crowd'. I substituted going out for drinks and alcohol with learning MMA and Brazilian Jui-Jitsu and eating healthy food 5-10 times a week and started watching TedTalks and further enhancing my mind. I also started guitar up again and focused on my career. I also became somewhat of a hermit crab and didn't go out for drinks for 8 months. Fast forward and for 2 years since changing my ways I have not been depressed since and have never been happier. I hope this helps and thank you for reading. R&R.

muffinxo feeling lost and alone
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This is my first time posting in the forum so I'm not quite sure how this works exactly. I suffer from bipolar mood disorder, depression and anxiety. I feel that over the last couple of months I've been on a downward spiral, particularly in the last ... View more

This is my first time posting in the forum so I'm not quite sure how this works exactly. I suffer from bipolar mood disorder, depression and anxiety. I feel that over the last couple of months I've been on a downward spiral, particularly in the last week. I am constantly exhausted, have no motivation to do anything and just feel all around hopeless. My studies are suffering because of this and I just feel worn down. I don't like asking for help or talking about how bad things really are right now because I feel like people will think I'm overreacting. I feel like I have no one to talk to. Everyone has their own lives to worry about and I don't want to bother anyone or feel like a burden to others. - Teagan

The_Possum Dream Dream Dream
  • replies: 7

Hi Everyone I have bipolar ii and sleep is really an issue for me. Or should I say.. Dreams are an issue. It's taken me months to work on sleep hygiene and have gone from no sleep to about 6 hours a night. Mainly via my psychologist, meditation, musi... View more

Hi Everyone I have bipolar ii and sleep is really an issue for me. Or should I say.. Dreams are an issue. It's taken me months to work on sleep hygiene and have gone from no sleep to about 6 hours a night. Mainly via my psychologist, meditation, music and some reading before bed. But the sleep isn't restful. It's full of dreams of me in trouble, others in trouble, running to help.. They are busy dreams that leave me feeling over whelmed in the morning. I have sleeping tablets but only allowed them a maximum of one night a week as my doctor doesn't want me to become addicted. If I take the tablets I'll sleep about 9 hours and I have no idea if I dream as I'm literally out of it and don't recall anything when I wake up. So it's more restful for me. Anyone have any dream issues? Bipolar has been difficult to manage, only diagnosed november last year and medicated, but I'm doing OK with help. Thanks x

Jaimi17 I feel so lost
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I don't really know where to start.. since December 1st 2014 my life has changed and not for the better. I went through a horrible time then and the person I was is no longer who I am. I mean I have seeked help.. was on medication but the doctor took... View more

I don't really know where to start.. since December 1st 2014 my life has changed and not for the better. I went through a horrible time then and the person I was is no longer who I am. I mean I have seeked help.. was on medication but the doctor took me off cause it was not working. I've seen three councillors and I just feel so uncomfortable because I can't say what I want to say without feeling embarrassed because I cry so much.. its like I have no control over my emotions. I think the same things over and over every day.. I can't switch my memories off and its driving me crazy.. I have good periods of 2 weeks where I feel like im getting on the right track but then Im so bad again. I walk on eggs shells because Im scared of how I will react if I feel a certain feeling that upsets me. On Friday I was talking to a co worker and he did something, something that was harmless that triggered this fear inside me and I felt like I couldnt breathe.. I was over thinking everything the rest of the night.. The feeling is hard to explain.. but it is the feelings I felt on the 1st of December 2014. I was diganosed with servere Depression and Anxiety but I feel like its more than that... i feel crazy! I have isolated myself from everyone.. I don't spend time with anybody.. I tell no one anything because ive had friends and family make me feel worse telling me to" get over it" or "move on"....ive made new friends at work but I am so cautious.. I don't trust anyone. Some days I lose my appetite.. Some days I emotionally eat. Just the other night I woke at 3am and just started thinking every bad thing anyone has ever said or done to me. Im either so exhausted or up and down all night. I like to be alone but Im also at a movie laughing and then start crying because I can see people with Friends or Partners.. I get so overwhelmed easy.. but get so disheartened when Im never incuded.. Its so frustrating and exhausting. Work mates pick up on my changes in behaviour and its embarrassing because I can't tell them what I feel inside.. because i have so much pain inside.. Im so lonely but so hurt that I hide away. Do you have any advice or suggestions to help me? I don't have a lot of money but I also know If I don't get some help Im just going to get worse.

Leilee What is wrong with me?!
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Hi there, I don't even know where to begin. I have never been to counseling or seeked help and to be honest its probably only been the last 2-3 years that i have felt this way (this heavy) so I'm just soo confused in the head. I think about death but... View more

Hi there, I don't even know where to begin. I have never been to counseling or seeked help and to be honest its probably only been the last 2-3 years that i have felt this way (this heavy) so I'm just soo confused in the head. I think about death but i could never harm myself as i don't won't it to effect anybody else. Plus my dog needs me. Funny or as sad as that is i really feel like my dog is all i have. I haven't had a great up bringing, I don't remember much at all from my childhood but i do remember there being a lot of violence. My mum and myself have a very toxic relationship and i feel like a lot of my emtional state comes from her. I have never felt good enough and always felt like i need to prove my worth to her where she would over compensate with my two younger brother's (one who's 2yrs younger has server depression & another who's 8yrs younger was always sick as a child). I know she love's and cares for me but its like she doesn't bother proving it. We have always fought my whole life growing up. I am very gypsy with my nature and an empath where my mother who was very much a gypsy before having us was very judgmental and critical, especially about one's looks. I have always struggled with my weight and and growing up we were all on a pretty strict no fat foods no sugar diet. The middle brother was alway the better looking one, the skinny one and the most popular one but i feel because of all that plus his depression and anxiety mum put a lot of herself into him an blamed me for a lot of his wrong doings or blaming me for the way he is almost. I get really emtional when i talk about my feelings but especially when that comes to talking to my mother. I turn into a nervous wreak and breakdown.

Bezz Confused
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Ok, so I've never written anything before but I'm not sure where else to turn. Ive been suffering severely for nearly 5 years now. I was a successful builder up until then running my own company with a young family at my feet. In 2013 I was admitted ... View more

Ok, so I've never written anything before but I'm not sure where else to turn. Ive been suffering severely for nearly 5 years now. I was a successful builder up until then running my own company with a young family at my feet. In 2013 I was admitted into hospital with severe anxiety and depression and have been unable to work since. My wife is now our income earner and I am the stay at home dad. Something I'm really struggling with and have a huge amount of guilt about. My depression seems to never have really gone away with me having been in and out of hospital and trying every drug under the sun. I guess I'm just wondering if there are any other guys out there going through anything similar because when I look at what my male friends and family are doing and achieving in life I feel hopeless and alone

Leilee What is wrong with me?!
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My mum moved away to sydney with my youngest brother when i was 20 and left my middle brother who was 18. He was horrible and very abusive when he drunk which was every weekend. I worked over 50hrs a week managing a busy hair salon and weekend's i wa... View more

My mum moved away to sydney with my youngest brother when i was 20 and left my middle brother who was 18. He was horrible and very abusive when he drunk which was every weekend. I worked over 50hrs a week managing a busy hair salon and weekend's i was pretty much always working so when it came to Friday night's i knew i was in for it and also did my mum as i would ring and ring her for help because he's having a party or wont turn the music down etc etc. Not once did she come to help or fixed the situation let a lot listen. Now fast forward to age 27 it's happening again. I am left with the house and she move away but this time she has met the man of her dreams. I have a lot a pressure on me at the moment with owning my own business and making ends me especially with rent (living in sydney sucks). Im over my job but im stuck in it because i can't get out because of the money. Mum sold our house our only security and moved 4 hours away. That house she sold she bought from the house that we sold with our abusive stepfather. The house that we were abused in while she watched just so "we could have a better life". Yet she sells "our better life" for her new man that i have onlt met 3 times within 2 years. I have a lot i issues i know regarding my mother. She doesn't understand. I only broke down a few weeks ago to her about all my feelings, emotions and issue's that i have with life and with her and her words where "can't you move on and just get over it". And that has stuck to me. What's wrong with me. Why can't i let go of everything and everyone that's every hurt me. Why can't i forgive the word's that they have said or haven't said. Why can't i just better happy. I don't even know if this will make sense i just needed write something down. Thank you

MattRatt New here - suffering from serious relapse of depression
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Hello everyone. I am new to this forum, but I really felt like I needed some extra help. I've been suffering from major depression and generalized anxiety disorders for 8 years now. I was able to get my symptoms mostly under control with medication a... View more

Hello everyone. I am new to this forum, but I really felt like I needed some extra help. I've been suffering from major depression and generalized anxiety disorders for 8 years now. I was able to get my symptoms mostly under control with medication and CBT, but recently my depression has come back even stronger. I am finding it very difficult to concentrate on my studies, and I fear it's going to affect my graduation. I am going to see my GP about it this week, but I would also appreciate some additional emotional support.

AlwaysLonely Onset of depression...
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Hi, Firstly I'd just like to say that my heart goes out to everyone here suffering from depression and other forms of mental illness, I think it's the toughest (although i have not experienced it to any levels that i imagine others suffer with) and h... View more

Hi, Firstly I'd just like to say that my heart goes out to everyone here suffering from depression and other forms of mental illness, I think it's the toughest (although i have not experienced it to any levels that i imagine others suffer with) and hope i can be in a place to help others in this area one day... I am concerned I may be starting to get depression at the age of fifty. Firstly I'd like to explain that i have been alone/lonely all my life (physically and mentally), I have very few friends, family/relatives, social-circle; I live alone; I've never had a long-term partner and never lived with a partner. So i have led a VERY, VERY lonely existence all my life. My job just makes enough money to keep me alive, gives me no contact with others. In summary: I have been alone all my life I am always living with the fear of homelessness, due to finances (although i have never faced this yet) I have dealt with my reality fairly well and never suffered serious depression before, although i have felt very lonely and sad at times over the years I have managed to stay motivated to exercise and live a reasonably healthy (sleep and diet) existence I have never been content or happy/joyful beyond the odd lucky moments and most of the time I am just "below average" at best Lately I have had days that have been much worse than ever before. I have felt a "dark cloud" over everything. I call it a "dark cloud" because no matter what i do I get no joy and have no interest. One exception is physical exercise, that does help for a short period (during and after). I enjoy going to bed at night as I DO still enjoy sleeping and appear to still sleep okay, although i wake with the dark cloud. These dark days started a few weeks ago and i am concerned it is the beginning of depression. I know all the "home remedies", such as meditation, daily diary, health, joining social groups, taking up hobbies, discussing with a friend, etc. BUT some of these things are either not available to me or simply making no difference. I feel like i am ranting and to be honest don't even know why i am writing this or what i am looking for or asking... Either way, take care of yourselves everyone