Bpd and working full time

Debra66 · ‎10-01-2017

Hi.I am 50 with newly dignosed BPD. Have suspected it for a long time.I work full time as a Specialist Childrens Worker in a NFP Families and Childrens Family Violence and Homelessness program.I am Case Manager and therapeutic childrens Worker. I am an adoptee.I have 3 adult sons I mostly bought up alone after divorce 18 yrs ago.I remarried 4 years ago.

I have a constant daily struggle with not wanting to work and be at home.I have always struggled with management in every job I have had. I am fine with clients..just no good with employers. I take their criticism very personally. I earn good salary but struggle with wanting to be at home. Financially I am major earner as husband is on work cover. I desperately want to work part time and be mentally healthy. Any one else had these issues ???

romantic_thi3f · ‎12-01-2017

Hi Debra66,

Just wanted to welcome you to the forums and thanks for joining us.

You asked if anyone else had these issues and I think you'll find that lots of people on the forums can relate in similar ways; many work full-time but would love to work part-time, or have days when they struggle to go to work at all. Some can't work and others work because they can't not work. There are many who have BPD, some with Depression and BPD traits, and even others who struggle with managers and taking on board constructive criticism. Lots of these threads are scattered in the Depression section of our forums.

I'm not sure if you're looking for one person but you may find comfort in knowing lots of people have experienced similar things to yourself. It can be hard trying to manage BPD in the workforce and I'm sorry that you're not able to work part-time at the moment.

I just wonder too from reading your post what sort of support you've accessed in the past? Talking to a therapist could be helpful to try to learn some assertiveness techniques or other techniques to help you work with management in a more effective way that doesn't strain you as much.

Hope this helps

james1 · ‎12-01-2017

Hi Debra,

As romantic_thief said, there are many in similar boats struggling with a whole variety of things with crossovers with your experience.

For myself, I have traits of BPD and I'm working in a professional environment at the moment. To say I'm struggling holding my full time job would be an understatement.

You mentioned you take criticism very harshly. I imagine this is something that also happens in your personal life as well? Have you had any strategies in your personal life that you could carry through to your work life as well?

I am lucky in that my BPD mostly presents itself as having a single person in my life who I care about and nobody else really matters. So as long as it's not that person criticising me, I can deflect just about anything. At the same time, though, it's also a matter of being able to accept faults in yourself. I'm not very good at this yet as I expect nothing but the best from myself, but I think that's something we can work on.

You mention you want to be home and not working. Is there a particular cause for this?

James

Itsawrap · ‎24-01-2017

Hi Debra66,

I was diagnosed with BPD around 3 years ago. When I diganosed It was if a weight was lifted, I actually had something in black and white that was relatable.

I have always worked in management roles and have always worked well under pressure, but the slightest hint of "negatively" would crumble me for weeks.

One employer new that there was no need to attack me about a mistake as I had a pretty good handle on beating myself up over my own careless mistakes.

Since 2014 I havent been back to work, I am at home and I am adjusting to it slowly. Working have me drive and focus, being at home makes me dwell on anything and everything.

One of the biggest things I have found with my BPD is that making rash decisions is not helpful, so make sure you are really emotionally ready to be at home full time if that is what you want to do.

Good luck 🙂

CatherineO · ‎30-01-2017

Hi Debra

I know how you feel. I am a Peer Support Worjer in Mental Health. I to struggle with going to work and wish I could stay home. We just can't afford it living in Sydney is so expensive. When I'm off work because of my health we struggle. I to have the same problem with getting in with my employer even one small criticism and I go into a depression suicidal ideation etc etc. Just recently I had a run in at work and spent 3 weeks getting over it. I'm how out if work yet again and can't trust myself to stick at a job. How I wish I could just go to work and be content and happy.