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BeyondBlue Hello! Read this if you're not sure how to get started
  • replies: 0

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for ... View more

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for coming this far, we know it can be really hard to take these steps if depression is in your life - we see you and think this is a great step. To get the most out of this space we have a few tips: Get involved. The Forums work best for you when you get active and post where you can. Now, we know that can be really hard, especially when you are experiencing depression. So, if you can post something supportive to someone else here, that would be an incredible start. Speak from the heart. This community wants to know how YOU feel and what has worked for YOU. We trust that you have something unique to say and we can’t wait to hear it. Check in. Lots of the discussions in this section of the Forums have been going for years and they are some of the richest conversations we have. Keep checking in to get new ideas and offer your support. We know it can be tough to start, but when you are ready we want to hear your thoughts. If you need some time to get to know the community, that's okay! Have a look around and see where you want to get involved. Thank you for being here! Beyond Blue

Jeriava How do I talk to my doctor?
  • replies: 9

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really ... View more

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really scared that they’ll judge me or won’t believe anything I say. I’m really anti social so I feel like I won’t be able to say what I wanna say or I’ll say the wrong thing causing them to just dismiss me and move me along without helping. I’m just tired of feeling alone, depressed and just worthless but I’m really scared to talk to them.

AGrace SELF HELP TIPS FOR MANAGING DEPRESSION
  • replies: 132

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the ... View more

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the 5 senses Distress Tolerance – Accepting Emotions and Self Soothing Distraction – Put the thoughts/feelings aside and come back to them when you are ready to deal with them Positive Affirmations – Have some affirmations written down repeat them to yourself daily Sleep/Exercise/Diet – All 3 aspects of our lifestyle can impact the way we think/feel Increasing Pleasurable Activities – Engage in at least one pleasurable activity per day

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AlwaysLonely Onset of depression...
  • replies: 3

Hi, Firstly I'd just like to say that my heart goes out to everyone here suffering from depression and other forms of mental illness, I think it's the toughest (although i have not experienced it to any levels that i imagine others suffer with) and h... View more

Hi, Firstly I'd just like to say that my heart goes out to everyone here suffering from depression and other forms of mental illness, I think it's the toughest (although i have not experienced it to any levels that i imagine others suffer with) and hope i can be in a place to help others in this area one day... I am concerned I may be starting to get depression at the age of fifty. Firstly I'd like to explain that i have been alone/lonely all my life (physically and mentally), I have very few friends, family/relatives, social-circle; I live alone; I've never had a long-term partner and never lived with a partner. So i have led a VERY, VERY lonely existence all my life. My job just makes enough money to keep me alive, gives me no contact with others. In summary: I have been alone all my life I am always living with the fear of homelessness, due to finances (although i have never faced this yet) I have dealt with my reality fairly well and never suffered serious depression before, although i have felt very lonely and sad at times over the years I have managed to stay motivated to exercise and live a reasonably healthy (sleep and diet) existence I have never been content or happy/joyful beyond the odd lucky moments and most of the time I am just "below average" at best Lately I have had days that have been much worse than ever before. I have felt a "dark cloud" over everything. I call it a "dark cloud" because no matter what i do I get no joy and have no interest. One exception is physical exercise, that does help for a short period (during and after). I enjoy going to bed at night as I DO still enjoy sleeping and appear to still sleep okay, although i wake with the dark cloud. These dark days started a few weeks ago and i am concerned it is the beginning of depression. I know all the "home remedies", such as meditation, daily diary, health, joining social groups, taking up hobbies, discussing with a friend, etc. BUT some of these things are either not available to me or simply making no difference. I feel like i am ranting and to be honest don't even know why i am writing this or what i am looking for or asking... Either way, take care of yourselves everyone

bella_dee86 Lost
  • replies: 5

Hey all, So I'm new to this forum (well I'm new to talking about my mental health in general) a friend of mine suggested beyond blue, so i thought what else do i have to loose? i have struggled with major depression, anxiety (last 2 years bad social ... View more

Hey all, So I'm new to this forum (well I'm new to talking about my mental health in general) a friend of mine suggested beyond blue, so i thought what else do i have to loose? i have struggled with major depression, anxiety (last 2 years bad social anxiety), post traumatic stress, borderline personality disorder and some have said i have bi polar. I was diagnosed when i was 21 with bi polar, then when i had a major mental breakdown at the start of the month i was told i did not have it and was pulled off all my medication. If I'm honest, that in itself was a massive shock to the system, in a strange way those medications became somewhat a part of me... now i am taking absolutely nothing, i was told at the mental health clinic that i attended, since i was young fit healthy with a child and profession behind me that i was basically fine, and there was nothing that they could do for me. Well i was dishearten to say the least, and now I'm just lost and left with my demons. Yes,I have a profession, a child and yes i do exercise 6 days a week. However i am far from ok and i know this deep down inside because i have fought this path for the past 16 years, i have been hospitalised 3 times before due to not being able to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I am so tired from this battle, its soul destroying! i have lost so many people form it, people that have tried there hardest to help but were physically drained from giving so much, i lost my job. A job that i loved very much and i haven't worked since i lost my job and that was 3 months ago, it has put much strain on my relationship with my partner (he lost his job in fifo to come and care for me) however i feel so empty towards him, i feel emptiness towards motherhood, just an emptiness towards everything, i can honestly say that i don't find any enjoyment, i only exercise because its the only soul time that i have to concentrate on myself (ect... breathing) i have a sense of anger towards everything and I'm just lost. I am unsure if these feelings come from past unresolved issues which are exacerbating current ones, i do see a therapist which i feel doesn't really help. So basically if you were able to read through all my ramble, i am simply just very lost. I need help to find myself again ...

Jugglin_Strugglin Common, long term consequences of depression
  • replies: 15

been feeding the black dog for 5 years now. I have read threads here describing withdrawing from friends, work, life in general. I have done all of these .....not opening mail, paying bills when they come to turn off power, or arrest me. I have just ... View more

been feeding the black dog for 5 years now. I have read threads here describing withdrawing from friends, work, life in general. I have done all of these .....not opening mail, paying bills when they come to turn off power, or arrest me. I have just been waiting for everything to implode, but surprisingly, it still hasn't. Now, I am so far behind in all my financial obligations, I don't know how to start getting back on track. I am 5 years behind in tax (personal &my business). Paperwork is not computerised, so I don't even know where the invoices, receipts etc are amongst the rubble. A misunderstanding with phone co has resulted in my landline being disconnected on 23/12...I have paid bills (yay direct debit) but I signed up for an NBN/phone package but did not connect it as it does not suit my needs in a remote area. Now sick of begging Indians to reconnect my landline at work, so no bookings. Fortuitous, as on Boxing Day, I awoke in excruciating pain. CT : slipped disc at C6. Dr. Google says no easy fix, I have read 100s of posts about this, it seems that regardless of treatment route, I will be in pain for the rest of my life. I have accepted this but without work, I can't afford to get specialist referrals etc, (I have paid private health for >16yrs...almost $50k!!! Doesn't cover that??) 1 good thing, This has been my first total 'holiday' from high stress/emotional job in 15yrs. As a small business owner, I am not able to get sick pay. Centrelink won't pay unless my tax is up to date IF I DID qualify for disability support. I support my 16 yo son (wants transport now he has his learners but no $$) I have never received a cent of child support, his father lives locally and is here daily for meals etc, which I felt was a good thing for my son, but I am angry that I have been supporting him also. I know things can't continue like this. But I am scared of making life decisions while in this black hole. I think baby steps are the only way to start to improve our situation (there is much, much more to our story, who wouldn't be depressed??) but it is almost impossible to take even baby steps. I am still putting things on the back burner as a coping strategy to forget problems. Of course they are still there (& worse) the next morning. I KNOW all this but I just can't take a baby step. Sorry for rambling. (Big sigh, feels bit better tho) Is there any free agencies to help sort out financial problems/paperwork? How have others gotten back on track?

Gruffudd How big is the cycle?
  • replies: 4

So I suspect we are all different here. Reflecting back I have a cycle of major depression becoming problematic every two to three years. I'm thinking about it because I can feel it again and it is about two years. I'm interested in other experience ... View more

So I suspect we are all different here. Reflecting back I have a cycle of major depression becoming problematic every two to three years. I'm thinking about it because I can feel it again and it is about two years. I'm interested in other experience on this cycle and what works to perhaps turn it around.

umeboshi Relapse or faking it? Not sure, pls help!
  • replies: 2

Hi y'all, new here. Bit of background - I'm 24 y/o queer and trans and struggling a bit w dysphoria (which comes and goes). So...I've been struggling w depression and anxiety since 14. Since then I've had a severe bout of depression every year withou... View more

Hi y'all, new here. Bit of background - I'm 24 y/o queer and trans and struggling a bit w dysphoria (which comes and goes). So...I've been struggling w depression and anxiety since 14. Since then I've had a severe bout of depression every year without fail. Since being hospitalised for a month when I was 21, I've been doing a lot better. The last year has been pretty calm - the most calm it's been for me since this all started. I hadn't SI'ed. I've always been a heavy drinker but it wasn't bad. I was doing relatively okay at uni. Had a steady job. This year, it all kinda unraveled. My workplace closed down so I lost a source of income. It's my lasts semester at uni and I've yet to go to class and I'm having difficulty with my assignments. I'm also discovering some heavy stuff about myself regarding gender identity. I've also been withdrawing, holing up in my room - it's not uncommon for me to spend a whole week inside. I just feel extremely anxious and uncomfortable in public. The last few weeks or so has seen me crying almost everyday and I SI'ed for the first time in a while yesterday. I'm also having trouble w sleeping and I'm having bad nausea and stomach issues. Essentially all the symptoms I have become familiar w over the past decade. Thing is, I feel like I'm faking it all. Which is weird to say...right? I feel like, I'm using depression as a way to justify my failures and shortcomings and laziness and that it's all one big act. And I feel even worse because I'm such a loser that I would try to deceive myself of having a mental illness when I'm actually perfectly fine. And then I'd question myself and my intentions and I'd get all confused and mixed up. But then I'd have absolutely horrible days when I know something's wrong, but it's not as serious as how I remembered my bouts of depression used to be, so it's just me making a big deal out of nothing, right? I hesitate to go see a therapist or whatever because even if I am actually relapsing, it's never done anything for me (over 7 years, I've jumped from one person to another to another and so on). I just feel really disgusted with myself. Just looking for some thoughts on the matter. I would like to know if I am just running away from my problems or if there is actually something wrong. I just feel very fake and I think that I've managed to psyche myself into a lie and that everything I'm feeling and thinking is just one big act for myself. Thanks in advance. -Umeboshi.

s_l_w Keep loosing interest in things.
  • replies: 4

Hi people !, I've been diagnosed with depression for atleast the last few years now. This last year i've been managing with a few ups and downs but getting there. What im currently still having trouble with is keeping myself interested and motivated ... View more

Hi people !, I've been diagnosed with depression for atleast the last few years now. This last year i've been managing with a few ups and downs but getting there. What im currently still having trouble with is keeping myself interested and motivated to do things...its really strange because i'll be really obsessed with a new idea or hobby I'd want to persue and think about it excessively for atleast a week...then slowly loose interest again before ive even tried. I seem to do the same thing when meeting new guys. I'll be interested in them for a little while then id automatically loose interest after about a week...could this be insecurity or maybe something deeper than that?. If anyones been through the same thing i'd love some tips to get myself out of this cycle. Feel like ill be waisting even more of my life if I dont Xxx

Sigwingal Still Struggling
  • replies: 1

So I posted on here about a year ago getting some advise about telling my partner that I have depression. I did manage to write it all down in a letter to him explaining how I feel. We briefly spoke about it after he read it and that was it. I dont t... View more

So I posted on here about a year ago getting some advise about telling my partner that I have depression. I did manage to write it all down in a letter to him explaining how I feel. We briefly spoke about it after he read it and that was it. I dont think he understands but he tried to remain supportive. He has definitely help me sometimes in my angry outburst by recognising the situation and not adding it. Unfortunately this is not always the case. So since then I saw a councillor for about 10 sessions. It was good to talk but I still could never get everything out. I still always hold back something which I guess it out of fear of being judged. I haven't seen her in a few months and know I should go back but just seems like a waste of time. I also lost my step dad last August which has turn my life upside down. He was in my heart my true dad as he was there since I was 4yrs old. I always felt like I would be ok dealing with depression coz he was always a phone call away and I would turn to him if needed. But now he's gone and I can't cope with that reality. I have been going from job to job trying it make something right in my life and just can't do it. I just want to run away. The last few days have been really bad and I just can't shake off....

Boo1986 Employment issues
  • replies: 24

Hi Beyond Blue members, I'm having a bit of a crisis. I am feeling very anxious at work and get the feeling my boss is trying to get me to quit. It is a small business where he and his wife pretty much run everything and I am (or was) the next level ... View more

Hi Beyond Blue members, I'm having a bit of a crisis. I am feeling very anxious at work and get the feeling my boss is trying to get me to quit. It is a small business where he and his wife pretty much run everything and I am (or was) the next level of responsibility. Recently while I was away on annual leave, my bosses wife was filling in for some of my duties. She logged in to my work email account and changed my title in my email signature from Admin manager to Admin assistant. At the moment they have let my contract lapse (it expired in January and they haven't renewed it yet). My boss asks me to do things I am not comfortable with (eg lying) and sets me tasks I cannot complete (eg I do not have access to some files and he knows this). I want to quit and get back into my passion (teaching) but it has been over a year since I was in a classroom and have lost all my confidence, and looking for work really causes problems with my depression. If I quit before I find a new job I will be unemployed and I know my depression will spiral out of control. I should stay for financial reasons but I don't know how much longer I can take being treated this way. I am expected to know everything and do everything and be responsible for everything, but for the wage I'm getting (less than if I were teaching) I really don't feel it is worth it at all. I feel terrible, I am frightened and just want to go home and stay in bed forever. I don't want to feel this way. Any advice? Thanks guys xo

The_Possum Will I ever be normal again?
  • replies: 7

I used to be in control. Have my life together. The one that people came to as I could figure their issues out and help. The rock my family could depend on. Now I'm a mess. I'm bipolar ii, I'm medicated, I see a psych. I've stabilises over the last 6... View more

I used to be in control. Have my life together. The one that people came to as I could figure their issues out and help. The rock my family could depend on. Now I'm a mess. I'm bipolar ii, I'm medicated, I see a psych. I've stabilises over the last 6 months. As soon as something happens, it sends me spiralling off. My mum is really sick, probably won't make it and I can't cope at all. I used to be the strong one supporting family, in times like these, now I am useless, falling apart. I feel guilty the last 6 months I couldn't talk to my mum. We didn't have a common understanding and I couldn't be honest with what I was going through so I shut her out. Now I regret it. I don't think I will ever go back to the old me. The strong independent woman I was. This illness has ruined my life forever. Who can honestly say they are the same person as before they were diagnosed? Yes you might have pieced most of your life back together, gone back to work, exercising and eating well. But are you really the same you? Or a broken version of yourself slapped together so you can function just good enough to make a contribution to society?

Pickmeimfluffy Had surgery a week ago and ever since i have been suffering with depression and panic attacks.
  • replies: 7

Hello everyone im new to this forum and just wanting a little help and advise. I just wanted to say thankyou for reading this to anyone that has been in the same situation as my self. Through out my life i have suffered from depression and anxiety bu... View more

Hello everyone im new to this forum and just wanting a little help and advise. I just wanted to say thankyou for reading this to anyone that has been in the same situation as my self. Through out my life i have suffered from depression and anxiety but after a recent operation things took a turn for the worst. Im a 25 year old male who has recently gone through three operations in the last six months however my last operation on the 11th of April 2017 things took a turn for the worst. I was having a Septoplasty due to not being able to breath through my nose , i was a little worried going in but nothing to out of the blue. The procedure seemed to go well however as soon as i woke up from my general anesthetic i woke up with massive panic attacks and a week later im not feeling any better. These panic attacks hit me with out no warning they hit me when im trying to sleep, I have and over whelming feeling of worrie and panic that i just cant shake. I have cried for the first time in 10 years i feel like an absolute mess. i dont know if its the drugs that was used to put me to sleep ? I dont know if post operative anxiety is a thing i just dont know i just want some advise and someone to talk to Thankyou for reading