Finally hitting home

[D_L]

Hi I'm new to all this but I figured Letting it out is better than keeping it in, so here goes. Ive watched my mum go through alot of medical issues over the last 15 or so years and has been a tough ride and she has always managed to pull through but after the last hospital visit the doctors informed us that there is nothing else they can do for her, she wants to keep fighting like she always has but I'm afraid eventually her life will be lost. I'm struggling to come to terms that I will loose my mum, I've lost a lot of people close to me over the years but it's my mum and she is everything, it's breaking my heart, I was quite depressed before this and scared that it's gonna break me. I've never spoken to anyone outside of friends and family cause I feel embarrassed to let out all my emotions. thanks for listening

[geoff]

hello D.L, I appreciate your post and want to say that your mum must have been such a battler through out her life, overcoming and fighting for her existence, such an inspirational person and she was your mother, how proud you must have felt, but now unfortunately her time is coming to a close, I can't tell you how sorry I feel for you, and how difficult it is that this is something horrible that are going to try and cope with.
It will never be easy, because it can't be, but it's a part of our life that us kids never want to see happen, however, no one can live forever, that doesn't make it any easier though, there will be so many people who loved them that will suffer, and unfortunately this is what you are going to face, but remember her as you always have, the fun times, the sad times where she has helped you overcome, and all those wonderful rememberable occasions that will remain with you forever.
You will never lose those thoughts, but can I suggest that once the time comes that you have grief counseling with a psychologist who will be able to sympathise with you and carry you through this devastating period. L Geoff. x

[Croix]

Dear DL~

You are having a truly horrible time. I can understand as I felt as you do when my wife went into hospital and never came out. Like you I had warning (around 9 months) and like your Mum my wife vowed to keep on fighting.

Her death was indeed devastating - I'm not being hardhearted though when I say it has to happen. I had the gift of being with my wife for many years, you have had the gift of being with your Mum too. There are jobs to do now to look after her and see to her ongoing wishes until things end.

You worry if it will break you - I think not. Firstly you are from your Mother, you have her strength built into you and secondly you are already making preparations - simply by posting here. You will prevail.

Nobody says it will be easy, it won't, but it's something most people have to face , and come to terms with.

Treasure you Mum while you have her, then after a while you will be able to treasure the memories of your life together - I know this , that's how it is for me.

As a practical tip - which worked for me - I lost myself in my work for quite a while, keeping too busy to think, until the pressure of grief started to ease.

You don't you say anything about yourself, do you have a family, do you have anyone, relation, friend, with whom you can just be with, who will understand, and as the days go on be a comfort?

Please feel free to post here as often as you would like - you will be assured of a warm reception

Croix