Don't feel like myself lately

[DanielZ]

Hello all, I have recently joined. Thanks for sharing your stories.

The last year has been extremely difficult for me and I find myself
struggling to get through my days. Some days are good and others not so
much. I feel down, and then begin to worry that something isn't right.
That worry has become excessive and it haunts me most days. It's as
though I am not me anymore. Thoughts of worry and sadness keep recycling
in my head and often I try to rationalize out of them but find that
they return. I wish that I could just go back to being me, driven,
motivated, and happy.

I am not sure where everything went pear-shaped but at 33 I find
that my life has not turned out very well with major career setbacks,
job insecurity, and discontent with my social relations. I have not
turned to medication yet as I am afraid of the side-effects and want to
give myself more time to get better.

[BballJ]

Hi DanielZ,

Firstly, welcome to the forums.

Sounds like a very tough time you have been going through, very hard when the mental illness starts affecting your work and your job as well. Most of us aren't sure straight off the bat where and when we started feeling the way we feel but talking it through is the best start, have you been referred to a psychologist before and starting talking through everything to start understanding where and when things started changing for you?

Glad you have also found some help in the other posts, keep reading them and joining in where possible as I am sure you have some advice you'd like to give people also.

My best for you,

Jay

[Neil_1]

Hi there DanielZ

Welcome to Beyond Blue and thank you for providing your post.

You’ve done a very good thing in coming here and writing and getting things down, but for what I’ve read, it might be time to consider taking the next step to seek out professional help – visiting your GP.

Going along, if you feel ok to do so and listing out, like you’ve done here, things that are troubling you … and with regard to medication, don’t be scared about it. The side effects that they list, they really “have to” do that, to cover themselves in case of something; but most times people won’t experience anywhere near anything that is listed. But I guess having said that, we are all different, so it again, could be something to discuss with your GP.

Another thing that struck me, is all the worry that you have happening. Worry and sadness, and I’ve got a lot of both in my life, so to help myself, not only do I have my psyche’s that I attend, my GP, my meds, but I also put into place other mechanisms to help me through each and every day.

I love fitness and being fit, so the gym is a huge escape for me and helps me enormously with my workouts. I enjoy running also and a lot of other sports, though I’m beyond the age for playing a lot of them, I still actively “watch” them. That keeps an interest. Music, I enjoy. Holidays, when we can afford them; my family, my two kids.

I could list on for more, but I’m just wondering whether you’ve got your own interests and likes, hobbies, possibly sports, etc … things that can help occupy the mind, to push the worry and sadness to the back of the mind for a while. I’m not saying it’s going to kill off the worry permanently, but the more you can incorporate, the better it helps you. Or so I find anyway.

Would love to hear back from you.

Neil

[geoff]

hi Daniel, with this illness we can never choose what days we want so that everything is manageable, it doesn't happen that way and mostly the days that we wish and hope your mood will be fine, unfortunately these are the days when we feel our worst.
By the way thanks for joining the site and posting your comment.
What it does is ruin any social life, and your job is always going to be a worry, especially when you know that you haven't been feeling well for quite awhile, because you're afraid that the boss will notice and end your employment.
This is always a concern but when you feel like you are at the moment it's 100 times worse, bad thoughts go through your mind, not once but constantly every single day.
In regards to taking any medication the doctor would only start you off on a very low dosage, where if you do have side-effects they won't be so annoying, but can I say that when you start taking them, then if anything seems to be going wrong with you, the medication is always the first to blamed, whereas it maybe something else that's causing, however you maybe one of the lucky ones where you don't have any side-effects.
I was given about 6 different types but none of them were suitable, and then I was given the one that I have been taking for about 20 years and when I started taking them, there were hardly anything to complain about.
Remember you can always stop taking them, but it's something that you should have a think about. Geoff.

[White_Rose]

Dear Daniel

Hello and welcome to Beyond Blue.Telling your story to someone is the first step towards regaining your health. Without realising it you have started your journey. Congratulations.

I had a little chuckle when you wrote I have not turned to medication yet as I am afraid of the side-effects and want to give myself more time to get better. I remember my fight with a psychiatrist when he wanted to prescribe antidepressants and I considered them unnecessary. He kept pushing and I kept pushing back. Then I became very much more depressed and gave up the fight. I started taking ADs.

You have already taken a year to get well, with no improvement if I read your post correctly. How long is enough time? I also understand you have not been talking to any mental health professional. My GP is a very special lady and takes me through much of therapy. She is also adamant I continue to talk to a psychiatrist. There comes a time when we need to accept we cannot move ahead on our own. It's not a nice feeling I know. When my lovely GP insisted I see the psych there was another battle. I had stopped earlier seeing the original psych, at the request of my GP.

GP/psychiatrists/psychologists/antidepressants, these are all in the mix. I heartily recommend you take the next step and have a chat to your GP. Neil has suggested you make a list as you have done above. A quicker way is to copy and print your post, and answers if you wish, and take that to your GP. A much easier way to start the conversation.

Medication issues with any kind of mental illness are the norm, unfortunately. I remember being told that "You take antibiotics for an infection, so why not take antidepressants for depression?" All very true but it felt different. Do you agree? I believe it is because of the associated stigma of mental health problems. One in five people will have some form of depression.

That's a terrifying statistic, but one that gets worse when people are afraid to seek help and treatment. The community is beginning to accept mental illness as normal. Is that an oxymoron?

Meds are good tools in general. It's true some folk have bad reactions but not as many as the world would have you believe. AD do not cure you. They help to settle and stabilise you, and make it easier for you to manage the symptoms you describe above. To do that you need some help.Think about trying meds. You may well be pleasantly surprised. One last thing, they do several weeks to kick in.

Mary