Would really appreciate peoples thoughts on a housing situation !

[randomxx]

Hi to all.

lt's an unbelievable time in life to find myself stuck in this position, just don't know how to look at it, or what to do about with it, if l can anything at all. 

Problem is, at almost 60, yeah l've mixed up details in other threads just a bit concerned some l know may also be here and haven't wanted any connection here that l might know, butttt, yep.

Thing is l didn't get anything out of my last house, the people l went into the property with as it was a big place, went broke.

Well , sort of lucky although maybe a curse , not sure anymore but l do still have a 1ac country property, 18yrs now, from back when l was married.

l can't work anymore for mh reasons but if l took care l can survive until l can get the pension- living at the 1ac place- it only has a small over nighter atm but l could extend and it'd come up quite nice .

Problem is, it's in a ting town, 30mins to the main town which is a really nice place and there's also a couple of tiny ones in between before that main buttttt, out where this place is, is tiny and out on it's own .

l always planned selling it about now but problems are now that for 1, even if it did sell, it's just a cheap little country block it'd only be a good deposit on something closer in- but circumstances now that'd mean a new mortgage and l'd have to keep working too, don't think l could stomach either of those especially the stress in trying to make it happen.

2nd thing highly possible it doesn't even sell anyway.

l know l'm lucky to at least have it and all , with the housing crisis and so many in worser positions , l just never dreamed l'd be living on it though and honestly, just don't know but it looks like l might be forced to.

l grew up in the city and have lived in some of the nicest places in the country but to have to settle on this place out there now- look the property itself is a really cute block and in a nice little back street- if l could put it on a truck to somewhere else it'd be really nice - but this town.

rx

[Eagle Ray]

Thanks heaps rx,

I can so relate to what you wrote about when the dust settles and it comes back to the internet, forums, movies and a bit of texting. I feel like I've used those things to maintain a feeling of connection, but I’m aware how much I need more face-to-face human connection as well.

Yes, I totally agree that we need a partner or clan, rx. I think it’s a case of just continuing to reach out to the right places and it can just take some time to find where those right places are. When I was in Melbourne I visited some photography places and got to chat to some people there, including one of the owners. He was mentioning that they run exhibitions you can participate in and that sort of thing. It made me feel like there could be something to belong to if I was there. I’m clearly really searching for belonging and connection with like-minded people. I’m sure it’s the same for you rx, that it’s about finding your tribe, people you feel comfortable with and you share some things in common with.

It sounds like even if you have a base in your current place for a while, you can perhaps just keep putting out feelers around the place including other towns. I found staying with someone in Melbourne was so good. She was such a friendly person and just having someone to chat to in the evening and not feel like I’m alone made such a difference to me. Perhaps there is even a way for you to stay in some different places with others here and there and they may lift you up a bit. It certainly did for me, though that may also be why I’m feeling the aloneness again more now that I’m back, but at least I know how that human connection improves things and it’s a motivator to get out there more in terms of spending time with others.

I had a look at some volunteer opportunities yesterday and today, and also I just keep thinking of what my interests are and how if I can follow them somehow it will hopefully lead to connections with others.

It’s true about people knowing your business in a small town. That’s definitely the case here. I’ve had people know all about my plans and situation when I’ve only mentioned things to one person, then I find multiple others very quickly know all about me and what I’m doing. I keep to myself more and more here now, but I do feel more ok in bigger towns so I’m going to make an effort to get out to them more often. I reckon though try not to worry too much about what others in the local town think etc. I’m slowly learning to let go of it. I’ve noticed that the happiest people in this town seem to be the ones who keep to themselves more, but those are people usually in a partnership so it’s like they’ve at least got each other. Gosh it’s weird after growing up in the city where it seems less intense somehow, whereas here it feels like everyone is under some kind of social scrutiny.

Well anyway, sending you the best for your spirits, rx. I think things can definitely work out but it’s just sometimes a bit of a lonely journey for a while getting there. I reckon just keep talking with people and eventually more and more the potential opens up for others to see your good heart and connect with you and you with them. I’m doing my best to stay positive myself and I do feel a bit brighter after Melbourne, even though I can feel the isolation again here. We will get there rx.

Big hug to you too, er

[randomxx]

Ahhh, thku v much er, especially for the spirit hugs.

But yeah ofc we know it'd be great with a partner or own clan in these place hey, easy to say isn't it. Spose l was more getting at the fact most of them have here, same with my old town, and weren't even interested in new people, especially when ur different. Like u even after 25yrs l'm still a city boy in the country so, one reason l need a good people mix l fit better. But hey l know, all to easy tapping a keyboard- the RW's a bit trickier, l know.

l'm not too worried for now, it's hard though. l'm never home anyway but l won't be staying so. l mean l'm not closed to it anywhere but you know, l'm pretty good at writing on walls to, no point forcing square pegs round holes . Made a couple of great mates vanning actually, miss them actually. You are right though best is to just let go in these tiny places just go live, do our thing but as we know eh, that can be a bit of an art form in itself when you aren't a local to so, again easy to say isn't it. Everything involves driving here to you could and l have easily do 6 - 700k a wk, u get sick of that, nothings close and after all your necessity running all over, your just about done, shame.l save one for the coast wkends, go see my daughter, brother, just about does it. When l find a new kayak that'll be more driving sooo, yaknow.

Your onto something for yourself in joining your hobby groups though that's the go. l was in things back in Melb days, your photography and anything else ur into yaknow, could be really good people are open in things like that especially in the city, especially as a lot of yours would involve other women to and yeah, l reckon it'd be great for not only your hobbies but for er and soul to, even in Perth.

Ex gf wanted to join dancing back at my place she does it in Sydney , but couldn't even find something at my old area, shame.

Anyway yeppa, you bet er, they'll work out. We just try not to as you say get too bogged down n the fine print. Me l'm just here for now but inside l know that and not closed but also excepting tis what it tis. Yourself ahhhh, your on the right track yaknow, you wanted to give where your at a go, if doesn't turn out for you well you've done it sooooo. it's a huge thing and now you know what you do and don't need right.

Here for me, as l say was open buttt, same, l know l won't be staying now, not unless some magic happened ha ha ha right- not holding breath. Butttt, l am still back near the coast again and getting a taste of that again which was part of the idea, ,,,plus it's free. See where l'm at Jan.

Yep , we will er, you betcha.

rx

[randomxx]

PS, would you believe l'm really enjoying this new job now that the bad parts all forgotten to btw. Notttt, that l wanna go back l know l've not only got my hands full but can't mentally either. Enjoying this one though got a start on it , it's really weird it's been 18mths, feels like a wk ago.

[randomxx]

lf it wasn't for the driving involved , you might really begin enjoying it out here especially if you had one or 2 friends around.

ln many ways it's still such a nice just out there place to come home to.

l still love driving but my 4x4s not really the cruiser type and gets pretty tiring, wish l still had my Jag couldn't get enough, that's what you need something you just love driving. Could still need the 4x for different jobs and the van though so yeah, bit of a shame in the ks from out here sense needed sometimes.

Takes practice to get good at making sure you've got everything but once you got to that point you could keep it down to 100-150kpw

[randomxx]

Heya er,

just checkin in with ya everything ok your end ?

rx

[randomxx]

Well , damn , that was disappointing.

Today l finally got around to dropping in on the one person l know in this town and that is also fairly like minded to myself. She's about my age met her yrs back when l was staying here for a stint the last time.

She was really nice and we related really well, talked a few hrs , showed me all her renovations , told me lots of things about the area and town, gave me an onion for my omelette l was gonna make for tea later. l was really looking to seeing her again and not only but to talk about the area and town of late these days now, new people around and just anything really.

Now l feel a bit paranoid bc l'm sure she was home but no answer. Could've been out the back butttt, feeling more like she just wouldn't answer but who knows.

Now l don't know whether to try again another day, that'd be like bugging her if she was home today, or just give it a miss and leave her be. What if she was home today, says it all right, car was there.

Anywaayyyy, there's no one else that l know of or have seen around, someone like her that'd be similar to myself , relatable. Have chatted with the guy cross the road that's about it but we're nothing alike. Seems to be even fewer people here now than 10yrs back last time.

rx

[Eagle Ray]

Hi rx,

I'm sorry for my long absence. Have been through a lot and really so hard to explain here, so I won't subject you to it.

But I'm sorry to hear about the uncertainty with the person you felt the connection with, and now you are not sure where things are at. It sure is confusing sometimes isn't it. I don't know, but maybe you could try just one more visit given it was a couple of weeks ago now, and just see how that goes? 

I really hear you about the struggle to make connections. In some places/areas it seems to be extraordinarily difficult. I just drove back down today after being in the city and I could feel myself dragging my heels. I stopped in another town and just lay down to have a rest in the park there. I thought how I never feel that comfortable in my town to even lay down in the park area, but in this other town today I felt better. I think I'm allergic to my town! But to be fair, it excels on the natural beauty side, so it gets points for that.

Anyway, I hope you are doing ok rx. Take care!

[randomxx]

Hiya er , nice to hear from you , been a bit worried but hoped it was you just needed a bb break so l'm really sorry to hear things have been hard. Don't feel obligated to hang in round here if your not up to it ok , just do what you gotta do.

Thanks for that tip then to so ok , might try her one more time. lt could've been nothing ,maybe in bed or out the back , bath, who knows.

l did see her in the po a wk before, she smiled hello but l was in a really weird mood that day and just wanted to get outa there, l did smile back though. Gotta watch myself when l get like that though l can put out a stay away vibe people pick up , thought it might've been that if she was about at home when l went over. We see then.

Really sorry things have been rough, hope your ok , don't worry don't need to know .

But funny you describe that laying down in the park thing. After about 5yrs in my old town of ldk, just always feeling noticed, self conscious,  finally one day l did that exact thing to. That town had a gorgeous tree avenue , lots of people just hung about on the grass and tables, under the trees but finally after 5yrs, gf was over the supe one day so l went and layed down , looking up through he tress, watching people over the shops, then she came out saw me came and jumped on me, was so nice to just relax there for once like that.

Don't know why l always felt so self conscious round that place but after that day, even my d and l started having lunch over there and stuff.

Funny , at that town though and my house, no heel drag, was always really nice to get home, especially from the city, can say that much. l wondered about the cabin here now with all that too but when l come home from my daughters a 2hr drive that couldn;t be more opposite to here, or like from Melb the other day, it actually felt quite nice tbh. l'll say one thing, after all that traffic and hustle and mad freeways , it is so other world coming back here, and so peaceful.

Thought of you last Melb trip had to go to Balwyn but gee tell you what, lovely suburb and part of Melb. Mind you properties prob start at a million bucks through there so it bloody should be.

You take care ok big hug

rx

[Eagle Ray]

Hi rx,

I think I know what you mean about being in a certain kind of mood where you want to get out of somewhere and not necessarily interact. I've felt something like that myself, and it is almost like part of you would like the communication but another part is self-protecting and going no way, outta here. Anyway, be kind to yourself and hopefully things might become a bit clearer with the other person, but I know it can be tricky to work out at times.

Yes, some towns have the nicest parks to lie down in. The one I was in on Sunday is a favourite. I've even fallen asleep there before, and I don't necessarily fall asleep easily unless I feel safe, but that park feels safe and has such lovely shady trees and even a winter creek running through it. The tree avenue that you describe sounds lovely and it's nice to just hang out and people watch, isn't it. I figure that with my sunglasses on, people won't notice me seeing them - ha ha. That's a nice story about your g/f jumping on you and just relaxing in the park too. It's like seeing you chilling made her want to chill too. And it's nice you got to hang out with your daughter there too.

It was great you always enjoyed getting home to your old place. It's interesting to hear about Balwyn. I had a look at Google maps and I can see it's not too far out from the city but also not too far from the parklands along the Yarra too. I went for a walk in Yarra Bend Park while there. I found it nice to see some bushland as a change from the built up areas, and Melbourne certainly has some incredibly dense areas, more so than Perth where I grew up which is getting busier but still not as intense as Melbourne. But, yes, property prices have skyrocketed and it's the same in Perth. In fact, availability in Perth is at an all time low with very high demand. I think a lot of people moved to Perth either during or after the main Covid period. A lot of people came to this town as well during that time, like they were trying to escape the world.

Anyway, you take care too and a very big hug to you!

[randomxx]

Yeah the Yarra goes a long long way l've seen bits and peaces of some really beautiful parts. Often thought of kayaking it from the outer edge all the way along into town buttt, not to fussed these days as been out of Melb a long tme now.

But yeah , prices, my God. Bit torn about what to do up where l am as l'm still just in the van rather than the cabin. Cabin needs works some money into it again now and as l'm not sure whether l'll even be able to sell it and a price or wth l wanna do as yet so been a bit dubious doing anything as yet until l suss things out more. l'm very comfortable in the van it's right beside cabin and you can't tell from the road but l dunno, feel a bit weird just being in the van, get bits of feed back from family and stuff and it's like poor rx he's just staying in a van over at the cabin. But it's not like that at all it's all actually really comfortable and l don't mind at all really , but l also feel a bit weird from my daughters point of view to and maybe it's not a good look for her dad, l dunno. lt's only temporary and she actually likes it she's right into tiny houses , but l worry inside she might be a bit embarrassed or something about it soooo, l dunno. Browsed a few rentals though but my God, anything so far is just mad, and then that'd mean furniture and setting up a rental temporarily , forking out all this money too when l can just stay here 100% financially free and hassle free so God knows. Makes no sense doing other wise to me until l know what l wanna do.

You still feel like people just don't get it though.

On the other hand to though, yeah if l was gonna stick around , sort my stuff and next move, sure it'd be nice to to be in something more house like , but l'd want something just walk in walk out, no setting up, no tume limit, l dunno what sort of thing could fit that, any ideas ?

Assuming there even was something God there weren't many rentals tell you what.

Anyway, hope your ok.

rx