Would really appreciate peoples thoughts on a housing situation !

[randomxx]

Hi to all.

lt's an unbelievable time in life to find myself stuck in this position, just don't know how to look at it, or what to do about with it, if l can anything at all. 

Problem is, at almost 60, yeah l've mixed up details in other threads just a bit concerned some l know may also be here and haven't wanted any connection here that l might know, butttt, yep.

Thing is l didn't get anything out of my last house, the people l went into the property with as it was a big place, went broke.

Well , sort of lucky although maybe a curse , not sure anymore but l do still have a 1ac country property, 18yrs now, from back when l was married.

l can't work anymore for mh reasons but if l took care l can survive until l can get the pension- living at the 1ac place- it only has a small over nighter atm but l could extend and it'd come up quite nice .

Problem is, it's in a ting town, 30mins to the main town which is a really nice place and there's also a couple of tiny ones in between before that main buttttt, out where this place is, is tiny and out on it's own .

l always planned selling it about now but problems are now that for 1, even if it did sell, it's just a cheap little country block it'd only be a good deposit on something closer in- but circumstances now that'd mean a new mortgage and l'd have to keep working too, don't think l could stomach either of those especially the stress in trying to make it happen.

2nd thing highly possible it doesn't even sell anyway.

l know l'm lucky to at least have it and all , with the housing crisis and so many in worser positions , l just never dreamed l'd be living on it though and honestly, just don't know but it looks like l might be forced to.

l grew up in the city and have lived in some of the nicest places in the country but to have to settle on this place out there now- look the property itself is a really cute block and in a nice little back street- if l could put it on a truck to somewhere else it'd be really nice - but this town.

rx

[randomxx]

Morng er, hope you've slept ok .

Designing haaa, tis my curse. l'm an ex artist dk if l told you but don't get me started on designing anything tell you what.l was much much worse back when, these days l've found some restraint ha ha, lf l don't l do my head in.

lt's also been a big part of my work to over the yrs even after l'd left art.

l must've designed 50houses over yrs to ha ha.

lsn't it funny though, nice to, that what we'd design for ourselves now is so different to 20yrs ago ofc it's only natural we're older ideas needs all different but nonetheless, it's kinda funny. 

This one, l've just mulled over through the mths there of late. l look at the place as l drive in or out or wandering around, just casual, no carried away brain strain self preservation modes, with no clue what l'm doing anyway in the end something on paper to look at while l make up my mind might help right soooo, it just came together on it's own.

l really love it though so if l stayed your house is a huge thing right, even moreso if not exactly your dream town, a lovely property's gonna help right.

Been a few but l've settled on this one. D loves it to which is cool.

lt'd only be an extension kinda thing to the cabin, so not some big new house thing so nothing like that in work or expense but v cool.

Anyway, better shut up on all that, l'm not quite over the line yet.

But yeah, you are spot on about vans to in that way, my d has a real thing about vanning and tiny houses. loves my design bc not only is it really different but it's only about 2 tiny houses in size, plenty for me. 

But yeah the simplicity in vans, still blows my mind how you can have everything you can poss need in a not even very big caravan.Pretty cool l reckon. l often think my God, all these yrs- get that house get that property, macmansions left and right ha, nothing wrong with just a van actually.But yeah there's a lot of women on the road to, vans, caravans, 4x4 setups, you name it. l've met or seen quite a few. Sadly some have been necessity bc of our insane housing crisis but many to just out there doing their thing, v cool.

Your town, ohhh nooo, that's a shame. But eh, it's prob not all like that hopefully there's some er's cruising and happy souls about to hey and with open minds and hearts. l'm surprised really but and l know ofc not all but we have come a long way in MH and openness in that too but at the same time even for me. l don't even wanna talk about it to people. For me it's just not healthy dwelling too much so although l personally find say skimming it with someone l relate to really helpful, any further and l actually find it more departmental than anything tbh. Personally, l think it's mostly better saved for our counsellor or helplines, whoever myself and to kind perk myself up out and about or just in general, actually helps drag me out of it tbh.

But yeah, saying no eh. Don't get me wrong l've been saying no to people or ideas or life things all my life but at the same time, within my own stuff, different story. So often through life l've been too gutsy, too open to anything's possible, too l can do anything, when often we should've really just weighed things up more so- conserve ourselves and life to actually.

Couldn't even begin but it's been a big bloody life let me tell ya and l've wished l'd cut it all back to 1/4 of what it's been tbh, like a normal bloody person. Sometimes there's a lot to be said for being some kind of normal instead ha ha.

Ha ha , love your hatch. Read the other day the smartest people today have 20yr old cars or older. Bc the new stuff now is all so shiny when you buy it but they're so damn complicated and tech once their warranties out anything goes wrong you may as well throw it away bc it'll cost half the car to repair. So there ya go, if your hatch stops l could prob lift the bonnet and get him going again but you just can't do that with new cars right.

Funny, l'm browsing for a new 20yr old car atm .

lf l'm staying at the cabin l need something a bit smoother than my 4x4.

My 83 xj6 jag now that was a car, l still miss him ha ha, he'd cost a bit much to run now though and ok, he'd probably be getting a bit too much other direction age wise now too right. l was married to so we had her car as well so he was my everyday driver but yaknow, wasn't so much dependent on it and could hardly afford the fuel even then either. 

Anywayyy, have a nice day hey.

rx

[Eagle Ray]

Hi rx,

Yes, I think designing a home is something that could be so interesting and rewarding. And it's true, what we like changes over time. I've always liked the idea of a little country cottage. But then I like a lot of the tiny home ideas too. I think what you describe with something the size of two tiny houses sounds perfect. Not totally squished into a minuscule space, but still compact, simple and easy to manage. I lived for almost 4 years in a granny flat at the back of my landlord's place that was basically a converted shed about the size of a tiny home. It was one room with the shower next to the kitchen sink, except for one small partitioned room for the toilet. I was absolutely fine in that small space and I would love that simplicity again.

I've been watching a particular YouTube channel on people who've turned to vanning. Many of the older women are as you describe, escaping financial difficulty and not able to keep living as they were. Some had been single parents and struggled all their lives. They could never get ahead and their kids have grown up and so they decided to quit their job and just travel in their van. Many started that journey at 60+. But some of the much younger women are doing it too. Many of them say they chose the lifestyle over studying and paying rent. They seem really happy. They've kitted out their vans just how they like. One of them has stopped a fair bit in national parks and gets a job there for a while, in a beautiful location, then moves on.

With my town and MH, I'm not talking about going around talking about mental health in an explicit sense. It's more that there is a kind of social performance that people do, even when things are really not ok. I've spent my whole life masking actually, making out I'm fine and everything's good even when it's not. This is a behaviour linked to childhood trauma where expressing any kind of vulnerability was very unsafe, so I learned to always act like I was good, no matter what. When I got here though my mental and physical health collapsed after a long period of extreme stress. When people asked me how I was, I tried to be authentic for once and say I'm struggling a bit. This led to social attack, literally. So I just don't share with anyone now. Tbh I'm really not ok, but there's 100% no one to talk to here. Even the main friend I did make here has had a cruisy life with a very safe and supportive upbringing and a very well paid career and things like depression and trauma just don't register in her world. I know I can't talk about anything in depth with her either. With the friends I recently saw in the city, it's not that we talk about depressing things, but we can be emotionally real about all our emotions - happy, sad, whatever. We shared both joy in relation to the concert we went to, but could share vulnerabilities too. When they ask me how I feel, I know they really mean it, and I really mean it with them too. Here, you ask someone how they are and only a stock, standard answer is expected. And I know people in the town who are really depressed, like one fellow who's lost his dog, but its not to be spoken about while he shuffles the streets now, head down, miserable as hell. The isolation of people is bad here, and I felt it in the nursing home too where I nearly took a job. The woman running it even told me, "the residents are really depressed here". She comes in from outside, but no one in the actual town wants to admit the nursing home is a miserable place. So something is off here. It may change in the future as new residents come through and the demographic changes a bit.

I love older cars. With mine the windows wind manually, the doors lock and unlock manually and the de-immobiliser is a jack that goes into a socket - no electronics in it and cheap to replace if I ever had to. I do not have one bit of tech on the car - no satnav, nothing. The one thing that I feel would be good safety wise is a reversing camera, but I get by without it and know to take extra care. It makes me really look when reversing and be really aware of my surroundings. I want to keep the car going as long as I can because of its simplicity. It still has a full size spare tyre too. I'm not into the idea of the space saver tyre that most new cars have now. I hope you can find a 20 yr old car you like. Sometimes older drivers have a car they've had for 20 years but haven't driven that much because they've used it for things like mainly short trips to the local shops. So the car is older but low km, then they decide to sell or they pass on and their family sells it. I looked up the 83 xj6 jag. It looks really classic and elegant.

You have a nice day too,

er

[randomxx]

Hiya er . Funny but talking all this van stuff, you see. It's hitting me again already and it's only been not even 2wks.

Where l am and on the river here, it gets lots of vans of all sorts all the way along here, so nice. But you know, all sorts of people to and l love that they aren't all just  oldies with their 200k vans and trucks.

Car vans, trailer set ups, roof tops anything you could dream up and quite a few actually living from whatever their set up to. You can tell the living ones they have a totally different way about them than just the holidayers.

But there's quite a few living coming and goers this last few wks here and a lot are women too. My little strip just here there's 3 or 4 women either side of me last few wks, not like side by side as such could 10 mtrs 20, with trees and brush in between often you can't even see who's just up from you but you start seeing ea other coming and going or walking about and stuff.

l love all that stuff because the livers usually come back to the same strip of different people they've felt comfortable with so it's always really nice to see someone coming home ha ha, it's like your own little clan yaknow, very cool.

Where as the big flash holidayers all gather in other parts.

Forgot to mention to B , the girl at home l was stalking with other wk turned out she vanned for a couple of yrs herself before there. Then her house came up for sale very cheap very run down and she managed to buy that, done a great job with it too.

Anywayyy, shall be back.

[randomxx]

Only l could manage an s , in front of talked right. 🤣

But yeah that's a shame then there, l suppose you'll just have to see how things go for a bit then hey, open mind though, never know.

Funny you should say bout that granny flat , my cabins only about that l lived in that for 12mths, about 10yrs back and that was unreal too.

lt was a lot the way l find caravans, l really didn't want for more space at all really as you say it was just so easy.

Gees you do sound like you have a real inner thing about something small and simplistic though , might be something for you to consider later on.

Pretty sure that's their plan with the gypsy wagon round the corner and eh, like that cabin it's on 1/2 an ac anyway so there's still plenty of room.

Jaja , you love older cars to eh, man l hate electric crap you can't do anything in mine until you put the damn key in and turn it all the way on, makes me sick. l'd kill for wind up windows and stuff. It did do all this bloody ridiculous talking to you and bibs when things were on or off or whatever, drove me bloody crazy, l tracked down the speaker for the computer and ripped it out. Well, that shut her up haven't heard a peep or bib since, 😃 , mind you l was shyt scared it'd kill the computer to and then wouldn't run but sigh, all was well, thk the Gods. But eh, l'd kill for a reversing cam to, mine doesn't have one and l do heaps of towing so buttt, can't be bothered fitting one. Gonna sell it anyway soon.

Hey, my brother got his latest car of one of those older blokes, v low k, great car too.

l've actually found a classic merc l prob would've bought by now, an older one and one of my most fav cars and this ones a beauty. But it's a bloody fb ad says call him but the numbers hidden. Drove me crazy just about given up now, tried everything.

ps, got a channel for ya- living big in a tiny house - Aussie, real sweetheart this bloke haha and absolutely lovesss what he does, has some brilliant vids of all kinds.

sleep tight

rx

[randomxx]

The woman in my car not only did she bip all bloody day long over anything but she also gave all instructions even told you how to start it, told you off if you didn't put your belt on , you'd be driving along and she start talking or reminding you of some rubbish it was insane, she drove me nuts.

Fixed that little bugger, 5yrs of bliss.😎

[randomxx]

Er l'm sorry about your struggles btw to, MH wise and physically. On depression yeah l've heard all sorts of things about meds and effects, dk if l'd be game myself bc of some of them, my d wouldn't touch any of it.

l did meet a lady though that'd had serious depression and anxiety all her life but found something that worked and she'd been using it 20yrs, went on to marry raise kids and held down a good job and in her words lived a pretty normal mostly happy life. Said there was no way without coming across these meds. Sooo, ldk but wondering if you'd tried medical Cannabis ?

l've read of some great progress for some people and for quite a few different things too some also physical things , might be worth looking at, just a thought.

l tried to talk gf ex into trying it actually bc just anything else she'd taken always had side effects or just did nothing.

She woudn't be in it though. 

rx

[Eagle Ray]

Hi rx,

Yes, I've heard of real communities forming with vanners. I saw something on TV where people would be off on their own part of the time, but meet up with others at other times. They'd get to know one another over time and sometimes camp at the same place together. They'd all sit round the camp fire together. I really like that idea actually. The idea of your own little clan is awesome, like another family. It feels like a natural way to live.

That's so funny about the s in front of talking 🤣 I had a laugh when I saw that.

Yes, I think small and simple going forward would be good for me. Although I'm in a unit now, even this place is too much. There's too much going on to maintain and something very, very basic would be the best for me long term. Thanks for the channel about living big in a tiny house. I'll have a look. I've been seeing a few like that already.

I think I'd find the voice talking to me bothersome too. Driving to me is like a relaxing thing and having an electronic voice tell me things all the time would drive me a bit nuts I think.

With the MH, I actually almost did start medicinal cannabis (hope that one's ok to mention here BB as I know we can't mention mainstream meds), but in the end I went with hormone meds because hormones were the biggest thing affecting my MH at the time. They have really helped. Had to reduce them recently because they've been triggering a strong histamine reaction, but then depression got extreme so put them up again and having to soldier through the histamine symptoms. Most standard antidepressants make histamine intolerance worse but I have one I'm going to start in a few days that doesn't. It's an atypical antidepressant without the side effects that others have and is much easier to come off again than most. So will see how I go.

It's blustery here today, like winter all of a sudden. I hope you're getting some nice weather on the Murray.

Hugs and bye for now,

er

[randomxx]

Hiya er.

Yeah l've been around a few of those community type spots, not really involved in them though but l agree and l've even thought about that myself, right one.

l suppose for you if you did sell up there could be something to consider in some form or other, even a tiny house on a block or something.

Great channel that one, think he's kiwi actually but does some great stuff anyway.

Great you've found some meds helping though. l have a bag full of all kinds of Gods knows what gf ex gave me- 🤣 and instructs if l feel l need anything but l really don't use meds myself bar something for sleep now and then and a couple of these are pretty good for that.

My situation, hmmm. l really really like it up where l am great size town lovely people and l love all the vineyards and orchards, red soils, really nice people. Prices are still pretty good up here too.

But firstly it's a long way from my d l don't like that at all but 2ndly it'd mean selling up and the whole new start thing again, finding building all of it and l still couldn't face that. Really, really, long and very hot summers too so yeah she's still v hot up here atm.

So, still thinking about my place back there and almost resigned to making the best of that, certainly the easiest and cheapest by far far far that is for sure . Still slight reservations bc of it being a long way out butttt, l suppose my main towns no further away than your other town there soooo, give me a smoother car haha and she'd prob be right.

Heading back later in wk, so see how l feel a bit later but prob pretty well over the line l reckon. Couldn';t face a yr or two of restarting and financing and every bloody thing else either anyway so, still makes me sick. 

Thanks for the hug er and back to you too eh.

rx

[Eagle Ray]

Hey rx,

Yes, it would get hot up there in the summer. Things seem to be heating up generally, so it might be something to think about there long term. I grew up in Perth and it's a place where the summers are normally hot, but they are getting hotter and the summers are lasting for longer. So I imagine on the Murray up there it will be similar going forward. So you might be better further south temperature-wise. At the same time, it does sound like a really nice place to visit and great with the nice people too.

That will be good to see how you feel going back later in the week. It does sound like the easiest option for you. If you are able to get up to the main town regularly for that connection to a bigger place, it could be a pretty nice place to come home to afterwards but you've still got what the bigger town has to offer close by. It's striking a balance with everything isn't it.

I went out late this afternoon to do some gardening and just looking at the state of my unit, I think in my case I really do have to move at some point. So much is degrading on the exterior of the building. There's a dodgy water catchment system previous owners put in that collects water from the roof while other water goes into the water tank. The gutters are asbestos so I don't use any of it for drinking. But the whole contraption looks in bad shape. There's a disconnected pump by the water tank that an electrician told me never to reconnect as it would be unsafe. The asbestos shed is not in great condition, and just looking at everything I know I can't manage this place long term. It needs a tonne of work that I can't do myself and can't afford to fix up. It just hit me like a tonne of bricks later this arvo that I have to sell. There's internal issues too. There's a leak that comes through when rain comes from the east (which fortunately isn't often), but when it does it drips down behind the electrics of my oven (which is fixed in place and can't be moved). I use a container to catch it. The roof issue is tricky to fix because of the asbestos. And so many other things need addressing. It's only going to stress me as a constant burden in terms of what needs doing and the financial cost which I know I can't handle long term. There will likely be someone out there with the skills and money to do this place up, but it's not me. It will just take me a while though to get myself organised to sell. I'm trying to get my mental and physical health better in the meantime, and can only do so much at a time.

So, anyway, the advantage you have with your cabin is that it sounds like a simple set up. Simple is good! I honestly think the simpler the better in so many ways. And with your van, you do have mobility and you can still travel around. That gives you flexibility. So you might be onto something good there.

Bye for now and sleep well,

er

[randomxx]

Morng er.

Things like the leak are prob nothing much, bit of a gap up there needs a bit of sealant or something like and the tank pump is prob not even needed anyway throw it away if it's only for the garden. Gravity flow just straight out of the tap on it would be fine. Garage could be painted asbestos is fine with good a coat of paint, just sayin though ok. So not to load you up more atm, don't worry but all l'm getting at is a lot that's only small things really, any good handy man could tidy it up in a wk or two. Sooo, all l'm saying there is that if you did stay and l know you prob won't buttt, maybe a small reno loan onto your mortgage 5-10k you'd hardly notice like that in payments, good handy man and it'd be all tidied things up again.

Sooo, l know it can be daunting looking around sometimes but if you think of it terms like that wellllll, yaknow , it does help so try not to worry atm.

My place , oh yeah every which way there's full on no brainer advantages left and right. lt's only the location thing tbh, that's the onlyyyy hold up and locations a big thing for sure butttt. lt is really nice to come home to l can say that much , which is a huge thing with our home isn't it. Given the energy level, lack of and finances though , yeah, l'm prob be best taking a leaf out of Tony's suggestion shopping about for cheap parts and just setting up there, we see.

But oh hell yeah weather up here, it's always had very long and v hot summers but v true they may well be getting longer and more intense to. Actually think l heard Mildura did break more records this yr.

Funny, when my place was on the market had 3 different customers from up this way looking to move down south bc they were sick of the heat up here.

Have a nice day anyway hey.

rx