Would really appreciate peoples thoughts on a housing situation !

[randomxx]

Hi to all.

lt's an unbelievable time in life to find myself stuck in this position, just don't know how to look at it, or what to do about with it, if l can anything at all. 

Problem is, at almost 60, yeah l've mixed up details in other threads just a bit concerned some l know may also be here and haven't wanted any connection here that l might know, butttt, yep.

Thing is l didn't get anything out of my last house, the people l went into the property with as it was a big place, went broke.

Well , sort of lucky although maybe a curse , not sure anymore but l do still have a 1ac country property, 18yrs now, from back when l was married.

l can't work anymore for mh reasons but if l took care l can survive until l can get the pension- living at the 1ac place- it only has a small over nighter atm but l could extend and it'd come up quite nice .

Problem is, it's in a ting town, 30mins to the main town which is a really nice place and there's also a couple of tiny ones in between before that main buttttt, out where this place is, is tiny and out on it's own .

l always planned selling it about now but problems are now that for 1, even if it did sell, it's just a cheap little country block it'd only be a good deposit on something closer in- but circumstances now that'd mean a new mortgage and l'd have to keep working too, don't think l could stomach either of those especially the stress in trying to make it happen.

2nd thing highly possible it doesn't even sell anyway.

l know l'm lucky to at least have it and all , with the housing crisis and so many in worser positions , l just never dreamed l'd be living on it though and honestly, just don't know but it looks like l might be forced to.

l grew up in the city and have lived in some of the nicest places in the country but to have to settle on this place out there now- look the property itself is a really cute block and in a nice little back street- if l could put it on a truck to somewhere else it'd be really nice - but this town.

rx

[Eagle Ray]

Hey rx,

I don't know if this will help you, but I have decided for myself that at the moment I just can't make a decision. I don't know where I would be moving to yet for sure if I sold and as I'm unclear and still sorting myself out, I'm just staying put and putting the decision on hold.

I just thought I'd mention that in case maybe it would help you just to let go of thinking about it for a while. Maybe you can head out in the van for a bit and/or explore other towns? It would be like taking the pressure off so it doesn't feel like such a constant worry. So if you go exploring, just really enjoy it and be in the moment, rather than being too concerned about longer term decisions you may make in the future.

I just realised with myself I'm in no place to make a decision right now. If I sold anytime soonish I'd be kind of lost not knowing what I'm doing. So instead I'm doing things like looking to ways to reach out into exisiting communities in the region and just learn more about myself and what I really need the most. Like next month I'm going to a music concert in a neighbouring town. It's run by a community-oriented place that has different events. I went to another event there which was great. I know it's not good for me to just be alone going around and around in my own head, so I'm trying to break that up by finding activities I can do and maybe people I can meet.

Anyway, that is where I am at, in case it's any help. I realised I have to tackle my own loneliness and mental and physical health and well being, before I can even contemplate whether and when I might sell and where I might live in the future. That's just me though and what I feel is right for me, but just sharing in case it helps.

Take care rx 

[randomxx]

Morng er , and thx as always for dropping in and the thoughts , from your end and mine. 

Sounds like a good idea for you and you did the Melb trip earlier would've taken a lot out of ya too. Was wondering, do you ever just go have coffee up the main street and just sit around for a bit, or not comfortable doing that ?

The pub does coffee here, few tables outside, l'd really have to twist my own arm to grab one though, l'd like to though l dunno, just to sit around, see.

Anyway,yep, that's the go er. lt's all bloody complicated l know but you have the time no need to push atm. Love your going to the concert too and giving yourself time in checking things out more , great stuff er good for you that's the go, give it all a chance l'd say. This stuff is such a time thing but with other towns around there to and things going on, yaknow, that's graet all is def' a long way from lost for you yet. 

My end here though yeah, l get why l don't seem to be able to just let it go for a bit it's the whole combo going on for me here. l feel threatened by time bc of age,plus l'm still just in the van here atm, even though it;s very comfy and right beside the cabin anyway,it's like your just using both but l feel a bit conscious about all that. l know to l only have so much mojo in the tank atm too and that ain't much for all this atm, especially if it came to selling this and starting over, makes me sick l dunno, just wish l could snap the fingers .

ldk how things would go if l could make myself just bloody relax on it all, just let it be for awhile, don't worry about it, just don't seem to be able to get myself into that right mode/frame, l feel an urgency , which is bloody stupid. Thta just messes me up l know it and eh really, what's the difference, 3 mths, 6, a yr. Not like l have to be anywhere next wk ha ha. l dunno why it's all getting to me so much, but l do , yaknow.  Anyway, wish l could just bloody relax.

But yep , hope to take off for a bit in the next wk or two and to hell with it. Still ust finishing that last job now , dropped it for awhile ha ha , couldn't be bothered, so it went on hold but it's nearly done now thinking l'll take off after that for awhile, step back.

Think l know where, go sit up there and bloody chill again for awhile, stuff it.

l'm sorry about the solitude and aloneness there for you, l feel it so much here to, dunno why so much here, it's weird. But you come here for a chat about anything any time you like if helps er ok . Love that you've taken any pressure off atm to.

Take care and a hug.

rx

[Eagle Ray]

Hey rx,

Don't be too hard on yourself about the urgency you feel to make a decision, as I think it's a normal thing to kind of want to be able to just get on with life and be done with it. But the fact it's not an easy decision just reflects there's a range of issues involved, and probably a range of emotions too.

I find I can catastrophise into the future a bit. So I'll think, if I stay here, what if I get to the point I can't keep affording the rates, strata fees, maintenance etc. But then I'll think, but if I sell, will I be able to find anything affordable in a place I want to live where I will not be isolated like I feel here? And then I've gone down all these worst case scenarios, so that can be very paralysing for decision-making.

I think the reality is, we will often be okay with the decision we make if we just take things gradually and remain grounded. I think it's often the projecting into the future that creates much worry in the present. I think if we can find a way to stay solid in ourselves, like we've got this so to speak, things are likely to work out okay.

For me, I am currently appreciating the peace around me here, even if I feel socially isolated in the town. I've been thinking of ways of this being like a base, but still frequently getting out to other places, if I can. So making the most of what is good about here, but extending my life beyond that. I feel that's all I can do at the moment as I'm just in no position within myself right now to organise to move. It's like I've got to work through stuff in myself before I'm even in a position to orient to moving.

It might be worth at least having a go at having coffee at the pub. In my town, I really only feel comfortable at one of the three main cafes in the main street. I've had not great experiences at the other two. The first one though is run by a nice couple and I always feel welcome there. There's a couple of other cafes further out where I rarely go, but they are pretty okay actually. Then there is a cafe at a tourist spot about 10 minutes drive away. I've got to know the couple there who are lovely and have great chats with them. I go there just sometimes and do a forest walk nearby too. The place I visit the most is the bakery and I do sit and eat my lunch there some of the time. I feel at home there, and it's the least expensive place for food. I'm really trying to save money at the moment so minimising eating food out, but that is somewhere I can go that doesn't cost too much. I think you can only give places a try and if it doesn't feel right, you don't have to go back. But it could lead to some nice chats with someone. A fair few tourists come through this town and are often at the cafes, and I like the vibe of the tourists actually because they are on holidays and enjoying themselves. Sometimes they ask me if I'm a local and want to learn some things about the local area. I've had a few nice chats that way.

I really hear you on the aloneness and I think we can only just keep making efforts to reach out and connect in different ways. Sometimes that works and sometimes it doesn't, but I guess I try to focus on the times it does. I'm definitely on the quiet and cautious side so it takes a lot for me to reach out. I'm pretty tentative. But I'm trying to focus on stuff I love, like music, for example. Just being in a space with others at a concert enjoying the same thing I find to be really meaningful.

Thanks heaps for the hug and kind words rx. All the same to you,

er

[randomxx]

Heya er and thx back at you too.

Your on the right track l reckon anyway, you've got the time so why not do your thing and see how things play out for a bit.

Although my God those fees sound madness gees l'll really have to watch that if l look at any units. At any rate l hope they don't get any worse for you that's all ya need but you would think it's only be minor increases as l suppose it's done right through - well, hopefully.

Funny, someone else suggested same too , why not just live there your free , just go away whenever you want or need a break, he was 75 and he's been doing that a decade now from his place. Pretty cool l thought, he goes all over the place then heads home crashes for awhile until he feels like taking off again. Could be worser lifes right 🤣🤣🤣 , many others would probably just wish.

Subconsciously be testing that one out myself in a few wks ha ha. l sorta have been a bit you could say here last 12mths bc it's the only home l have to come back to atm so l've come back a few timess now from my travels. Always feels so classical coming back dunno how but it's always been cross country and back roads from wherever l was to here next minute this place just pops up and you sorta home again . Well, home for now at least. lt's been quite nice actually.

l suppose it could as easily be a bear from the pub as a coffee, l'd kinda feel as if l'm on display outfront of that place , l know that's stupid l mean logically who bloody cares right.

But l really hear you on a preference , l'm exactly the same there aren't many places l feel like doing that stuff. My old town had 4 or 5 too and there ya go it was only the bakery coffee tables l ever sat down at there too.

D and l did start eating out lunch down the strip through the middle of town though, that was really nice actually. It was yrs though before l ever did that there. Mad.

But yeah, that's the go er , just go about with the things you enjoy doing or what's the point anyway right and that puts you in your natural space and feel which is where we're suppose to head in life right.

There's no where to even reach out to here really with no shops or what , but l thought l would take your tip and go know at that girls place again one day , she has always said hello so ldk, maybe she was asleep or something. But anyone here really , you'd literally have to go knock on their damn door so all that feels too weird/forced to me. Maybe some use the pub dk, not ready for that though.

Have you got a dog ? thinking a dogs the go and we could take it walking.

l like tourist season to mainly although they over run the main and ruin the place but l do like them out and about.

Got a new kayak dunno if l told ya but there's also the Grampians here and they have a beautiful lake goes for miles use to yak there a lot but it's much closer to here now so.

Problem is by the time you drive your wkly gotta do stuff can't be bothered with more later.

Future things, yeah l actually find the same myself lately. l use to love change and l've had a lot of it to but always loved the freedom of the new. Lately though, well, as we both know these days , God. So many big things to consider with costs and moves these days , manageability but then still all the old ones to like will we fit, like it, are we doin this are we that should we this should we that ld bloody know.

You could just go somewhere else back when but that's a much much bigger deal now isn't it.

Thanks back at u er hey.

rx

[randomxx]

Meant to ask to btw er.

You know, the way your feeling a lot of the time there, has that been just there or in other places you've lived to at times ?

l ask bc l don't think l've ever felt this loneliness l get here but yet l've lived on acreage and so no town at all and in situations where there hasn't even been neighbours l connect with either. You'd think that'd be far far worse wouldn't you at least l'm in a town here. Cannot for the life of me pin point why this place feels the way it does for me here.

lt's not creepy or anything, don't even get bad vibes really apart from just typical small town stuff and people actually seem mostly quite easy tbh, but yet it's such a bizarre feeling here. 

At any rate, l think l should at least be able sell the place ok just as is and cabin only though anyway, as low and behold we've had 3 inquiries just today again now yet it's actually off market atm. They must've saved the ad or something but so l'm pretty sure with a little work on it l should be able to get rid of it if l do decide to go that way which is a bloody relief let me tell ya. Been a bit worried couldn't even get rid of it as is but that should be right.

Have a nice wkend er eh.

rx

[white knight]

Hi RX,

What makes a "home town" for us. It's subjective but here is my take on it.

As a kid every xmas holidays I flew over to a small town in Tassy and baled hay and milked cows. My 7 cousins hated doing that work as they did it all year round on the farm. That small town was quiet, friendly and picturesque below a mountain but 30 minutes from a beach. As an adult in the RAAF I always said I'm Tasmanian even though I never lived there permanently. 

In Melbourne I was living in a alien town in the western suburbs, working class. I wasnt happy. Since 29yo I tried several towns in the regional areas and none sat right with me. Then 6 years ago, in my 60's I discovered a town 3500 people which ticked all the boxes. They were- within 30 minutes of a beach, 2 hours from Melbourne, 30 minutes from a good size town, here there is a supermarket 2 actually, medical, bakeries and so on. But it was the tree lined wide streets and the structures like old building, clock tower etc that really made this town special.

Been here 6 years now and the more people I get to know the more friendly I feel this place is. 

We are not on this earth for a long time, we should imo seek out our most ideal town, ideal friends and family and ideal interests. Every day we dont seek them out we waste our time in what can be a more rewarding lifestyle.

TonyWK

[randomxx]

Gday Tony and thx for the thoughts.

l'm a western suburbs boy too, don't think anyone l knew was happy there either dunno why, everyone seemed to dream of heading country or coast.

Your town sounds a lot like my old town , my only complaint there was that in 8 yrs l just never found a fit. People were nice enough in passing spose they all just had their lives, friends and family about though.

Something like yours now would do me just fine, not sure financially though if l'm gonna have a choice. But agree whole heartedly and that's really the crux of the matter in taking all this time here yet still feeling in limbo. Wish l was but eh, not 21 any more, don't wanna waste it.

lt's the weirdest thing here, l feel so damn comfortable on the property itself or coming and going. Lovely block and spot, and streets and what few people about are only 50mtrs across through trees, pub round corner, couldn't ask for a better set up really but in a still in town sense.

People do have this peace about them here just doing their thing. lt's a bizarre mix like that bc with no shops, nothin going on, it still has a feel for sure.

They're the good points, don't know if in time l'd be feeling the same as locals seem to though. l have in spats but at others l get this damn weird loneliness thing here, the drive to shops or a 1/2 decent town gets on the nerves to after awhile. 

l'd def prefer this prob on the edge of something bigger that actually had a few shops and services though, for sure. Bloody prices out there now though dk if l'd be able to, def not without selling this place first though.

rx

[white knight]

Well forced to work with a MH condition is the last thing you'd want imo. 

Is there a distraction in your weekly routine that would cause you to look forward to some activity.

My wife 2 years ago took up bingo on Tuesday nights, met some people that became friends and the 4 of them now take turns in picking up each other to attend. Just a thought. An idle mind gathers moss...

I'm suggesting that "the town" might not be your cup of tea but if you are less active then your location will haunt you somewhat.

You know I've built a trike and now its at the engineers for final inspection. As its not here I'm lost for things to do. So it has created a feeling like I'm missing my baby. Similar feeling as you?

TonyWK 

[randomxx]

Yeah l bet your missin it.

But yeah plenty to do, l've even actually been back at work too this last few wks tbh, took on just one job. But your not wrong , although it did help my fitness bad mentally though that's for sure. l'm done.

But normally yeah plenty to do here could easily spend the next 10yrs just playing round with the property alone, plus building if l went that way.

Always look forward going up to going upto town though too, usually head up twice a wkish but whenever nothing in stone and l got a new kayak so l've been yakking on some days uptown to after l do my stuff.

Lost my last kayak up on the Murray Tone, bit of a classic, it drifted off while l wasn't watching, never saw it again.

So l've felt like you with your trike missing ever since so it's fantastic to get my new one again now.

But yeah, yaknow, things to do is another good thing about this place, it's just really nice messing around, lots to do if you want to, don't have to if you don't though really. l'm the sort always got things on the go though myself, here or anywhere.

Really nice those things for your wife, something like that is often really important to some women isn't it. Or a mate or two about for us blokes is nice to.

lf l was married and she liked it here l'd def stay we'd be set for life, might have to set a girl trap up the street eh. 🤣

rx

[randomxx]

l feel this mad pressure to decide wth l wanna do, it's mad. Partly about building something and getting more comfortable if l'm stayng and so that decision. Bc atm l'm still half in the van half in the cabin.

The last tenant stripped the cabin u see or l'd just be in that. lf l build here though l'd redo the cabin totally differently so that's in limbo too while l decide if l'm building or not.

l know best would be to just bloody relax for awhile, especially mentally, dk wth l can't in this case- well, bc l'm not 21 any more is why and l know within myself the energy especially mentally and coping is very very limited soooo,  l can't waste it buttt, nevertheless.

Someone said the other day why not just apply for public housing, then you don't have to re buy or build or worry about body corp fees, they don't kick you out , if you didn't build on this place then you technically don't have a house so they'd probably except the app. Hmmmm, there's a thought.

Some of the public housing is really nice these days.

Anyone know anything about that sort of thing or people in them , wonder if they're happy or miserable .

rx