Sherie sweetheart, I'm sorry my words hurt. I thought they might but I value you too much to offer platitudes when I see you suffering at the hands of a drunken bully.
I doubt very much that he hates you hun, that's not how it works with booze. Generally we hate ourselves, as Moonstruck said. And when we're drunk we take our self-loathing out on people around us, people we care about. That's what I mean by the grog strips away the veneer. At least, that's how I was, and probably still would be if I was drinking. That's why it must be never ever again for me.
But the thing is, unless he recognises he has a problem and commits to changing, he will continue to take it out on you. He will deny there's anything wrong, or he might think he needs to cut down 'for his health'. He won't acknowledge what he's doing to you while ever the booze has hold of him. Because we don't want to know how much we're hurting someone else. And, he is the only one who can change that.
I agree Al-Anon would be a good idea. I've never dealt with them of course but I expect they can help you more than I can from the point of view of family suffering due to an alcoholic.
You really are a beautiful person hun, I see how much you help people here (including me!). Please put yourself first, don't take this.
Offer stands (and yes, I know - it stands nontheless).
Kaz
xxx
