Worthless

[Guest_1055]

Hello

I am wanting to know if anyone else feels just worthless. And what they did about that feeling that creeps inside of you.

Thanks

[Guest_1055]

Hunting for happiness, and Mandy you posted on here a couple of times. I don't know if you are reading this, but if you are, I just want to say hello and give you a hug. Hope you both are OK

Shelley xx

[Guest_5218]

Morning Shelley.  Its 6.30am here and another sparkly clear morning.  I see that you've been up most of the night again, judging from your posts overnight.  I am thinking you must get most of your sleep in the mornings, around now perhaps?

Your earlier post has not come through yet, but I will keep a look out for it.  Something must have held it up, that they didnt like.

Oh and dont worry about cleaning and tidying up your house today.  I've done it all for you!  At least I have in my imagination    ( - :               I just didnt want you to have to worry about it.  There are far more important things in life than a clean and tidy house.  I know it doesnt get done on its own, but it can wait until you are up to it.

Take care Shelley.  And here is a big bear hug for you, to help get you started for the day  (( shelley ))

Sherie xx

[Guest_1055]

You must be working I think about now, it is almost 11am. Hope your day is going alright for you. So your building that your office is in, is it in a small town or a city?

Also I was wondering if you had a vege garden, since you live on a 3 acre property. I know you have grapes, well I think you do, you mentioned it in the BB cafe, but then again I guess it could have been imagined. I have to be honest, I do sometimes find it hard to pull apart the real and the imaginary thoughts in the cafe. So if I write on the thread, I have been putting a small row of dots at the beginning and end of the imaginary words. Oh and I love eating grapes. I bought some tomato seedlings to plant in our very tiny raised bed, but the plants all died. I love homegrown tomatoes.

Thank you for thinking of me, in regards to imaginary cleaning this house, I appreciate it, and the next time, I venture out this bedroom door, I will close my eyes for a bit, and imagine the hallway tidy and then the rest of the place, I don't know maybe it would help........  

Yes you are right, I was still up until about 5:30am. I couldn't sleep, so I just hung around. I am pretty sure it was due to the ice coffee that I randomly had yesterday. Did you sleep alright then? I did look out for you on the BB site, just in case you were up and had posted, as you have on other nights.

OK bye, hug

Shelley xx

[Guest_1055]

Hey CW

I was thinking of you at the moment, hoping you are OK. Just sending out some love. And please don't feel pressured to reply to this post, if you don't want to. You are free. I just wanted to send out some love to your heart, in hope you will receive it today.......

Hug

Shelley xx

[Durras]

Hi Shelley,

just wanting to post and say hello and ask how you are. Just know behind your computer screen I am thinking of you and hope you get a better nights sleep soon. I love iced coffees to a very bad addiction of mine. I wonder if Sherie would mind cleaning my house too, well actually it isn't a house we live in the garage done up as a granny flat so it is small and won't take too long, so really I should do it myself I know, I started to today, done vacuuming and dusting but now run out of energy to clean bathroom and kitchenette area.

Hope you have a good day and want you to know I am thinking of you

Hugs

Durras

[Guest_1055]

Oh thankyou for thinking of me, it means a lot.😊And yeah, I am a bit flat today, and have been crying a lot over the last few days. But I will be OK.....

I was thinking of a few different people on here last night, one of them was you. I was wondering if you had heard back from the cafe job, or did you look further into the aged care course. Also did you notice that you are officially 100, a whole century? I just did when I peered over at your username. And are you OK? Huge hug for you.......

Yes ice coffees, I was addicted like you, to them at one stage. I had one every day, usually one of those ice coffee dares with the green lid. But also frappes from McDonald's and ones from cafes with the pretty looking cream on top. I love the taste of them, even as I am writing this to you, I think I am wanting one. But my body and my mental and emotional health doesn't like them at all. The caffeine keeps me awake, my insides feel jumpy, makes me really tired and the skin on my face turns a  unhealthy colour. So does it do anything to your body?

You know I have a feeling Sherie probably would not mind at all to imaginary clean your place, she does seem quite like a giving sort of person. But you should ask her, I guess. Living in a granny flat, sounds a bit adventurous to me.

Thankyou so so much,

With love to you

Shelley xx

[Durras]

Hi Shelley,

Sending you a big hug and wipe those tears away. What is it that's making you feel this way, could it be your still feeling so much emotion for all your reading on BB, if so believe me your words are truly beautiful and so helpful they do help tremendously. I often catch myself feeling that way too and I send out prayers for everyone. (I'm not Christian but it is my spirit coming through to all who are on here needing love, warmth, caring, sup[ort and to know someone is here for them who understands or can send a hug with kind words. Shelley all does make a big difference for us.

Kaz and I were just saying how amazing it is that we can all talk like this, sharing in our stories and giving support, it honestly brings brightness to our days and gives us strength.

No I haven't heard from the café he told me to call him when I get back from NZ which is next Sat, I leave this Sat. I have decided to take on the nursing course which starts on 8 Feb.

I'm feeling a lot better now since having a great chat with my husband last night, he is going to print of some stuff from BB to help him have more understanding from what I am going through and he told me stop worrying about finding work and do the course instead.

I haven't really noticed how ice-coffees effect me, I should pay more attention to that, I just drink them like water Mmmmm not good I know lol. I will ask Sherie if she wouldn't mind imaginary cleaning my granny flat. It isn't bad here, but so use to having my own place and space, were living with his family till we can buy our own home which we hope to do this year. I only have a tiny wardrobe, my husband's one is  HUGE one and he has more clothes then me.

Shell you take care and please wipe those tears away. You are truly a beautiful person and it does sadden me that your sad. Sending you a massive hug.

Durras

[Guest_5218]

Hi Durras,

I wouldnt mind at all in cleaning and tidying your granny flat.  Just back  from work now, but I will grab what I need and do it quickly now.  Give me half an hour and it will be spick and span for you.  I see you're off to NZ on Saturday for a week, so I will do it again while you're away.  Nice and clean for you for when you get back.  Oh, and you'll only be back a few weeks before your nursing course starts.  Exciting stuff.

Okay, I will just finish the cleaning, then get some lunch, collect the mail, etc, etc. Then I'll be back again.

Sherie xx

[Durras]

Sherie you are truly beautiful, thank you so much deeply.

Can I do anything for you? Please let me know I do believe in returning the kindness.

Yes I am very excited for when I get back and starting the course. I have also tried to get hold of the psychologist to make an appointment with her when I get back but always no answer so leaving messages. I'm also starting a online course through Mindspot it is a wellbeing course. So lots happening.

Hope you had a good day today, put your feet up and relax have some self time you deserve it.

Kaz and I have lunch ready in BB café salad rolls with your choice of chicken, ham, tuna and cheese. Help yourself

Hugs to you

Durras

[Guest_5218]

Just replying to your post from last night Shelley, it did eventually come through and I found it.  Yes I am a pretty organised person with everything I do I guess.  Constantly putting things back where they belong, straightening things, and generally being a pain in the neck if you listen to my husband!  ( - :    Your herb drawer  sounds a total delight.  My needs work!  Out of sight, out of mind.  Maybe we could do a trade there.  Swap houses for a few days, and we can both get things done!

Making dinner is good, so forget about the clean-up.  Its invariably going to be there the next day, unfortunately. 

Hey I see that you have added a profile picture.  Now I have something to look at whenever I get posts from you. Nice.  I love the little swing, so inviting looking.  Maybe I could put one like that next to the stream near the cafe?  A bit easier than climbing the tree to drag my old chair down every time I go there.  

Is OCD hard to live with, you ask?  Yes, it can be.  I try hard not to let it rule my life, but sometimes its pretty difficult.  Its stupid little things which bother me the most, and my husband too.  Things like if I go to bed and then notice that a curtain is not straight, or a venetian blind is not quite level, any little thing like that?  Well I just cant get it out of my mind, and I have this overwhelming compulsion that I have to get up and make it right.  And other things like if my husband has been super sweet and hung out the washing while I've been out.  Well I cant stand that the clothes have been hung wrong, or the wrong coloured pegs used, or not hung in the right order.  So I have to take them all off and hang them back up the right way. Or if he washes up and leaves dishes in the drip tray thing?  If they arent all lined up properly and each in their proper spots I have to unpack them and put them where I reckon they should be.  Its a little crazy isnt it?  And it can be mentally exhausting at times.  I try hard not to let my husband see me doing all this sort of stuff, because when he sees, it makes him pretty mad.  And I really dont blame him.  Its all very silly and irrational behaviour.  But unfortunately it is not something I am able to control all the time.  I have spoken to my psych about some methods to make it less of a controlling thing, and I think I am improving a bit.

Love to you Shelley Anne.

Sherie x