Worthless

[Guest_1055]

Hello

I am wanting to know if anyone else feels just worthless. And what they did about that feeling that creeps inside of you.

Thanks

[Chicken_Wings]

Hi Sherie,

Yes dad is in NZ. I wouldn't say we are super close, we don't talk heaps or anything. He has some more kids now and is pretty involved in the new family. But when we do talk he is pretty good. I know he cares.

Will Holly go with you on your trip? Does she like going in the car?

I can't imagine the fear or thinking you might see someone who caused you so much pain. Its good that you don't have to go through it to see her this time.

I'm not near the bushfires, those are down south a couple of hours. Its out of control at the moment and already 100 homes have been lost. I really feel for those people. Its a lovely place down there.

Work has been on/off busy so far. Not a bad day all considered. I hope you are doing well.

[Guest_5218]

G'Day CW, it must be your lunch break.

No Holly wont be able to come with us unfortunately.  We are visiting our (step)daughter in Wollongong on the first night and have to stay in a Motel.  She and her husband have 2 kids (5 and 3) so it will be great to see them all. She's currently on leave so we will get to spend a bit of time with them all this time.  And after that  we continue South to visit my family in the country.  So Holly stays with a lovely elderly lady who has 2 little dogs of her own.  She has known them since she was a puppy and I know she actually enjoys a visit with them.  I know she takes good care of Holly and that she is safe in a good contained back yard and everything.  She's a funny little thing though. When we get there she rushes in through their doggy door and announces her arrival, then comes out again and looks at me much as to say "well, you can go now, I've got things to do".  But then when we arrive home to collect her again, she is even more excited, and can barely contain herself in greeting us.  So sweet.  Really makes you feel loved and wanted.  I expect you have the same with your two?

Yeah those fires are dreadful, similar to the Great Ocean Road fires on Boxing Day.  I really feel for them all.

Glad your day is so/so.  Better than bad anyway.  I'm okay thanks.

Sherie 

[Guest_1055]

Ah little Lucy, pretty cute Wayne.

Hugs

Shelley xxx

PS. Read some of your posts in the cafe, you are sounding better, for which I am glad.

[Guest_1055]

So when will you being going away Sherie? You may have said it before, but I can't read much more now..

Shelley xx

[Guest_4987]

Hi Shelley,

I am feeling much better thank you, are you ok? I have read you were not feeling the best yourself I really hope you are feeling better now. Must turn the computer off now as the bugs are crawling all over the screen and me so by for now.

Big hug to you.

Wayne  and Lucy xx

[Guest_5218]

Hi Shelley,

I am leaving first thing next Wednesday and return home the Monday after.  A long drive there and back, but hubby and I share the driving, which makes it easier.  Although I hate the Sydney city bit before the M2 and M7, so I usually make sure its his turn to drive that stretch.  Its unlikely that I will have any computer time while I am away, so it will be a forced break from my BB fix!  Oh no........  But it will be nice to see my family again, as I havent seen them since my little niece's funeral back in September.  It will be pretty hard though.

I saw your story on the Cafe thread.  You are so clever with words Shell. What sort of work do you do, or have you done in the past? I dont recall you mentioning work at all, but then again you dont share a lot of information about yourself, so I really dont know.  If you havent already, you could do some form of writing for a living?

I hope you are starting to feel a little better Shelley.  My thoughts are with you.

Love Sherie x

[Guest_1055]

Hey Wayne...I appreciate the hug.

Yes I have been struggling a bit, I haven't fallen into the dark place, but it feels like I am peering down into there.  So I am trying to turn my eyes and heart away from it. So I went to the movies yesterday, and saw this movie about a little dinosaur, who was struggling with fear and how he found the courage to face it. It was a children's movie. But I am guessing you know children's shows and movies can be quite good. As I know you like watching Shaun the Sheep. Bah bah bah.

And how come your container isn't bug proof?

Hugs 

Shelley xx

[Guest_1055]

I always like going on trips, and especially driving through country type areas, and looking around at the passing scenery of trees, hills or clumps of cows. And if we see a little stall on the side of the road somewhere that is selling like fresh honey or vegetables or yummy fruit....well I just have to stop there. 

I know you are not physically close to your relatives, but are you close, like in the heart?  I am not sure of what to say in regards to your little niece, but I am sorry Sherie. 

Yes I do not share a lot about myself, because I am a little cautious as I don't want to accidentally expose my family, as I do know they would not like that. I used to work in nursing at the hospital. I now do a little community nursing, but the lady I was looking after went into an aged care facility just a few weeks ago. I was only caring for one person, as this was all I could manage.

As for the writing, well sometimes I just see stories in my head, and need to get it out.

Did you have a peaceful sleep last night, with no nightmares? I have been thinking of you, in regards to that particular issue, and hoping you are OK.

Hugs 

Shelley xx

[Guest_4987]

Hi Shelley,

It saddens me that you are struggling at the moment so please accept this extra big hug from me and please hang on tight we don't want you to fall into that dark place.

I like little dinosaurs I can just see them walking around the open plains doing dinosaur stuff, was that the setting in the movie.

No fly screen or anything on the container i need to keep the door open at night so there is enough air.

Take care Shelley I'am thinking off you.

Wayne and Lucy. xx

[Guest_5218]

Thanks Shelley for sharing those small snippets of personal info about yourself.  I accept you dont want to reveal too much, and thats fine.

Will you soon be getting another person to care for with regards to the community nursing?  Do you think it is good for you to have someone else to care for, to help take your mind off your own issues?  You are such a caring and compassionate person - the Aged Care industry so badly needs more people like yourself.

Yes we (Mum, Dad, my sister, my brother and myself) have always been very close.  Although I have grown apart from my older sister a little over the past few years.  She is a very domineering person and we have had a number of clashes over all sorts of issues recently.  My Mum, Dad, brother and I remain emotionally very close. I phone my Mum and Dad at least every second day.  And I call my brother weekly, or more sometimes, and talk to my 2 nephews as well.

I quite like driving trips as well, although I am not what you'd call a relaxed driver.  Although I am quite a good driver, I just dont enjoy it.  It surprises me that some people actually enjoy driving.  For me it is just a necessary means of getting from A to B.  But I enjoy being a passenger as I get to have a good look around.  And I also like to stop at all the little local stalls and often stop to buy seasonal fruits, honeys, etc.  There will be a few places like that on our drive South.

Yes, thankyou I had another reasonable sleep last night.  No nightmares.  I may have been reacting before to the thought of visiting my sister in the ACT.  Which I now dont have to do.  Hopefully okay again for a while now.  Its nice to know you are thinking of me.  But please dont worry about me, because I'm fine.

Stay out of that black hole Shelley.  I'll be trying so hard to pull you back from that edge! In my thoughts and heart, if not physically!

Keep well, and a warm hug to you also.

Sherie xx