Hi Everyone. Firstly, thanks to you all for your well wishes etc. Last night I was doing things pretty tough and I appreciated all your support. Especially you Shelley who was there for me at the time. Your comforting hugs helped more than you know.
Today I am still feeling pretty awful. Hubby is away for the day so I did go back to bed for a while late morning and finally got a little bit of rest. But then I ate a 1 ltr tub of icecream (Connoisoirre Cafe Grande) and now I feel sick. Comfort eating. Pretty silly of me wasnt it? I should be the size of a house, I'm fortunate that I'm not. I would have been better off going to The Cafe and getting one of Shelleys special juices. Anyway too late now.
I hate feeling like this. And I really hate the b*st*rd who caused me to become this pathetic frightened creature. I hate that he still has the power to do this to me, even after 20 years. I said in my post last night that I didnt know what the trigger was for this latest setback. But after some thought, I think it was simply that people have been talking about the new year of 2016. 2016 is an Olympic year, and Olympic years are always Leap Years. And of course leap years have 29 days in February. A somewhat obscure word association you may think, but my trauma occurred on the 29th February, hence the connection. Our brains work in mysterious ways. I usually know my triggers, but this time it came as a surprise, hence affected me more because I wasnt anticipating it.
Shelley I note that your post from last night has finally come through. You must have written it before I came on line. I understand your reluctance to speak of your son, and I respect that. Yes I got all my gardening chores done on new years day. I also like to sing when noone can hear me - like in the car when I am driving, or at home when I'm on my own. I dislike the sound of my own voice - singing, speaking and laughing. I joined BB on 20th Nov, how about you? No, I've never been involved in any forums, chats or anything similar before. I do have a facebook account, with only a few so-called friends. I really only have it active so that I get to see grandkids photos etc, and use it as a contact when we are away or overseas. Yes there have been a few people come and go, like the fellow who we had a minor disagreement with on the 'Anyone for a Chat' thread. He's not been back. He was about to be homeless, so I hope he's ok. I think thats when we met?
Sherie x
