Worthless

[Guest_1055]

Hello

I am wanting to know if anyone else feels just worthless. And what they did about that feeling that creeps inside of you.

Thanks

[Guest_1055]

What do you actually do in your work then CW

[Guest_5218]

No, Christmas day breakfast at our place is usually pretty ordinary with lunch being the big meal.  Usually just need to get breakfast out of the way so we can all prepare for lunch.  And after lunch, its very much a lazy time.  

But I could make an exception for your pancakes, berries and cream Shelley!  I love cream.  And yoghurt too for that matter.  In fact all dairy food.  And nearly all fruit.  And yum, pancakes too.  And croisants, love 'em just slightly warmed with butter and strawberry jam.  Actually I think I like all food..... Good thing I have a nervous constitution I guess, I do tend to wear it all off and maintain a healthy weight.  Or maybe its all just genetic and I can thank my Mum and Dad for that.

I also find that when I do break down and have a good cry, that it releases some of the pent up pressure.  I often feel better afterwards.  Except for the tension headache that crying always gives me.  Thats possibly more from trying not to cry though. 

I am not too particular about my christmas present wrapping.  Its funny, because I can be quite the perfectionist in many respects.  I figure that with the little grandkids they are only interested in whats inside and rip the wrapping to shreds, so its not worth my effort to make the wrapping too special.  Good enough is fair enough. I do always buy good quality pretty paper though, but thats as far as my creativity goes unfortunately.

But I must say I really do love to see the effort some people put into making gift wrapping special.  It can be quite an artform and it seems a shame to open them.

I am definitely more of a dog person.  I used to love cats as a kid, but I have always been alergic to them.  So I learned at an early age that I was better off staying away from them.  Still slightly affected even now, but I only get itchy eyes now and sneeze.  Thats not to say that I dont like cats, coz I do.  But we just cant co-habitate.

I am going to be having an early night tonight, as I really do feel totally knackered.  I'll catch you all tomorrow, and I hope you each have a nice evening in the meantime.

Sherie x

[Chicken_Wings]

You've never been in a bouncy castle!? I think you should remedy that!

My neighbour has a small one that he puts up in his backyard for his kids quite a lot.

i do all sorts of things! I design things, I manage projects, I come up with ideas for advertising campaigns, it's hard describing my job. 

[Guest_1055]

Good night Sherie.

CW I don't know much about advertising. What things to you design then. Are they like drawings or plans?

[White_Rose]

Shelley

Thank you for your concern. I had surgery to remove the cancer and then radiation treatment o kill off any stray cells and prevent another cancer growing. That part was all straight forward and I am free of cancer as far as I know. First anniversary in February and first follow up mammogram and ultra sound.  My problem was the side effects of the medication given to me by the oncologist and its interaction with my antidepressant. Not good.

Stopped taking both medications and now feeling the loss of the AD, but I have decided I will not take any more ADs. I now need to cope without them although it's more difficult than I anticipated.

Thank you for your concern.

Mary

[Guest_1055]

So are you well enough to go out into your garden? I enjoyed hearing your little story that you told me a while back about a snake that slithered from behind a plant, whilst you were working in your garden. We had snakes in our garage at times, when I was younger. My brother got rid of them though.

Hope you have a good day tomorrow, Mary.

With hugs to you

Shelley xxx

[Kazzl]

Good morning all

Sherie I'm so pleased your new job went well! That's great. 

Hugs all around - hi Mary, yggy and everyone else here, and so good to see you back Wayne. Sorry you've been down mate. Special hug to you.

I've been thinking about something related to this wonderful thread and want to get everyone's thoughts on it. First some background. As you probably know, I'm an alcoholic who's been sober for several years now. I got sober with much support from a forum similar to this for problem drinkers. One of the threads on the forum was an imaginary 'lounge' or cafe. It was a place where anyone could drop in, have a chat, have some imaginary food and drink etc. And it had whatever people wanted it to have. Over time this included comfy sofas, a spa, an open fire, a cellar full of strange imaginary creatures, a forest, a lake complete with boats. an annexe with comfortable spots when you wanted a nap etc. You get the idea. It might sound silly but it was such a great fantasy, escapist 'place' to be, and it meant the regulars on the site could find each other easily when they just wanted to chill out. The rest of the forum, like this, had loads of threads where everyone discussed the various challenges of getting sober and well, pretty much anything. The lounge was for talking through problems too of course, but it had an upbeat, sometimes silly feel to it that seemed to make people happy.

So, I've been wondering if something similar would work on BB. This thread is wonderful and I'm so grateful to have found you all here, such lovely friends. I don't want to derail this thread in anyway, or be seen to be taking something over. But I wonder if the title might put others off who could benefit from the warmth and companionship here.

So what I'm thinking is, we could start a 'cafe'. Maybe in the community section? And see if it evolves. As I said, I don't want to take over anything, so if you're not keen let me know. I'll only do it if you good folk here will be 'founding members' with me so to speak.

Anyways, tell me what you think. And hugs to you all.

Kaz

[White_Rose]

Hello Kaz

I was unaware you had a problem with alcohol. But that being the case could you talk to Downgirl on the Depression forum. Her thread is Husband leaving because of depression/alcohol. Getting some support and answers from someone who has been there is so valuable. Geoff has already replied and given some great comments. More replies from different perspectives would be great.

Mary

[Kazzl]

Hiya Mary - thanks for this. I certainly will. I'm about to go out for a while (finally braving the shops for Christmas food), but I'll be back later today.

Downgirl if you're reading, I would really love to talk with you. Hardest thing I've ever done and if I can do it, so can you. Hope to see you later.

Have a good day all -  any special requests for Christmas goodies? Cashews? Chocolate coated almonds? Red and green pickled onions? (Yuk, sorry)

Kaz xx

[Guest_1055]

Thankyou so much for your thoughts here 'hope4joy'. I have read your post here a few times now. I too can rationalize the fact in my head, that I am not worthless, but the feelings don't always match up.

It is true for me also , that I am isolated and find making and keeping friends very difficult. And I tend to shut myself away or hide. Because I either feel fearful, ashamed of what people may think about me, awkward and deeply sad at times. These feelings of fear and shame, I think is because I do feel like I am worth- less than other people. Thus you don't connect to others So like you said, if I am understanding you correctly......

But when you do feel a connection to another human, like on BB, and it is less scary on here. You do start to feel worthwhile or not so worthless. And also you feel less worthless because some other precious person has given kindness to you, or something like that.

Anyway I really do appreciate your thoughts which are now below. And I appreciate you. With many many hugs.... Shelley xx

hope4joy said:Hi everyone, I hope its okay to come in with a post here - its lovely to read the support that you have for each other. I saw this post the last few days, just the title 'worthless' and didn't relate at all, and then this morning I read the title as "worth - less" and it was like aha, I do that all the time. The making myself worth less than others. I think its why I often befriend people who are struggling themselves because I feel a lot less judged and a lot less worthless. And it made me think how my 'worth-less' thinking started when i was young, probably when my mum left. I'd never made this connection to how its a big part of my depression thinking. So how do we combat those thoughts of being worthless? I mean I can do it in my head and rationally I know i'm not worthless. But perhaps it is having people in our lives who care about and love us - that care and love are strong proof we are not worthless? Its like a catch 22! I'm isolated cause I feel worthless but connections help me know I'm not worthless! I guess it shows the importance of reaching out and connecting, on here and in person. Thanks for being here everyone xx