Where to next?

[KNTK2022]

My wife and I are parents of a 20yr old who is suffering from debilitating depression. It manifests in extreme fatigue, which results in 10hrs + of sleep every day. This means he misses out on the most active part of the day. He also suffers from some anxiety which manifests in a reluctance to go out. He is actually quite physically strong, and fit as he is a CrossFit athlete. But good days when he might be able to do a workout and also work as a CrossFit trainer are rare. It's a daily struggle. He's started a course of medication that I have been led to understand is about artificially tweaking hormonal balances. I don't know the specifics. He hasn't shared the details and is reluctant to do so. We've tried GPs, and we've tried headspace. We've run up against a wall. We can't see much progress and for now, the medication is not having an impact. It might actually be that his situation has worsened since starting the medication.

There's obviously more to this. But for now I'm hoping someone out there has had a similar experience to ours, and that they might be able to offer some tips about who we can see for help? We're on regional Queensland so our options locally may be somewhat limited. Or perhaps we have options but I just don't know what I should be looking for? 

My son desperately wants this to end. I can see the frustration, and then the resulting sadness when he realises its groundhog day again. 

[tmas]

Antidepressant medications mainly act on neurotransmitters, which are different to the hormones you might be thinking of. Changes to those hormones can happen as side affects, not always, but if this becomes bothersome talking with the psychiatrist about changing dosage or medications all together is always an option.

I know many people are concerned about their weight when starting medications, is this part of it? Not all meds do this, particularly if you're active. I've had one medication do this (compounded with depressive behaviour and bulky hospital food), but that side affect wore off after a few months - and the medication worked better than anything before it so I stuck with it long term anyway. The only real (very unsettling) "hormone" issue I ever had was prolactinemia (more closely related to antipsychotics or tricyclic meds, but still a side affect occasionally). The biggest "hormone" concern I think young people have is sexual dysfunction, which is also very common but not a guaranteed - psychiatric meds are all about weighing up the cost and benefit, for many the pros far outweigh the cons. Whatever the concern, he should discuss privately with his doctor.

I have been in his situation, though granted I was a bit younger. My GP was the first to prescribe me meds, and the one I landed on (a very common and broadly used first SSRI) didn't really quite do what we needed it to, made me more energetic in a sense, but didn't help my anxiety. GPs aren't often specialised in these things, thus they tend to refer people on. However, there's also the question of what is accessible right now.

Medications can take many weeks to start working, but I'm not a doctor - that's the person to go to!

[therising]

KNTK2022

From one loving parent to another, I admire you so deeply as you search for ways to make a positive difference to your son, including coming here. It is one thing to proclaim our love for our children, it is another to actively love them to life (through our actions).

Personally, I've found the reasons for depression to be varied and many. This is something that has led me to the mantra 'A depressing level of ...'. As a 52yo gal, I faced long term depression from the age of about 20 to 35 and periods of depression since. There has always been a reason for the depressions I've faced. For example, a depressing level of internal dialogue, a depressing level of B12 deficiency, a depressing level of sleep apnea, a depressing level of a lack of inspiration, a depressing level of feeling so incredibly lost in life and the list goes on. So, the reasons have related to mind (psychological), body (biological or chemical) and soul (a less physical and mental sense of self). At times, all 3 combined. One of my biggest triggers would have to be a depressing level of a lack of energy, something that seriously disconnects me from feeling life/truly feeling alive.

Of course, I'm no expert on meds but what I can tell you is...if they are producing a depressing lack of energy, that's something worth questioning. I imagine your son loves feeling the highs that come with being a CrossFit athlete. Not to be able to feel the highs that connect him to life so energetically would be another depressing factor. My heart goes out to him as he looks for ways that make a difference.

Does he find periods of anxiety thoroughly exhausting? If so, perhaps the anxiety could be a seriously draining and depressing factor.

All the best on your quest for answers as you love your son to life.

[OgresHaveLayers]

Hi KNTK2022,

I just got diagnosed with depression early November and while the antidepressants cleared my head, it was the realising what I had to sort out post depression that was the real heavy stuff. As you are in regional Queensland it is probably not easy to get into a psychiatrist or a psychologist, however my doctor referred me to a place called Remote Therapy, based in I think Brisbane but they do psychology sessions via zoom for anyone in regional or rural Australia. That is somewhere you could start.

I find I am very closed off when talking to friends and family about my depression because I fear they will think less of me. Having a therapist is really helpful in being able to navigate your emotions and feelings while going through this and just having a sounding board is really helpful.

Cheers,

OgresHaveLayers

[yggdrasil]

Hi KNTK2022,

Thank you so much for posting on here. I'm sorry to hear your son is struggling from such severe depression. I had similar issues at that age and it can be really horrible. It sounds like you're doing a phenomenal job of supporting him through it!

As others have said, I think gently encouraging/suggesting-to your son to speak to a professional is a good starting point. If he speaks to his GP, the GP can set up a "mental health care plan", which entitles him to 10-20 free sessions with a psychologist/social-worker of his choice. These can be tele-health/Zoom if he lives remotely. If he's receiving medical treatment from his doctor, he may have already gone through this process.

I think it's a really positive sign your son is seeking professional help. I also think it's normal for him to be reluctant to share details, and I think it's important to respect that and give him space if he wants it. At 20 he's now an adult, and needs to drive the recovery process primarily himself.

How are you feeling yourself through all of this? 

yggdrasil 

[KNTK2022]

That's some useful info. Thanks for the tip and also the insight of what its like to struggle with this. I think we do find it hard to understand sometimes.

[KNTK2022]

Thanks. I think we'll try to convince him to have another go at the mental health care plan. But this time we'll pursue the tele-health option as it might be more practical in a way. He's been very cynical of the system. I don't blame him. But he might see the telehealth approach as a more efficient way of lining up with a professional who he can relate to.