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Jeriava How do I talk to my doctor?
  • replies: 9

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really ... View more

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really scared that they’ll judge me or won’t believe anything I say. I’m really anti social so I feel like I won’t be able to say what I wanna say or I’ll say the wrong thing causing them to just dismiss me and move me along without helping. I’m just tired of feeling alone, depressed and just worthless but I’m really scared to talk to them.

Chris_B Are you looking to support someone else with depression? PLEASE READ before posting
  • replies: 0

This forum is for people seeking support for their own mental health issues. If you're posting on behalf of someone else with a mental health issue that you're concerned about, please have a look at this section of our forums: Supporting family and f... View more

This forum is for people seeking support for their own mental health issues. If you're posting on behalf of someone else with a mental health issue that you're concerned about, please have a look at this section of our forums: Supporting family and friends with a mental health condition It's full of threads from people who have family members and friends going through anxiety, depression or other related conditions. Have a read through the threads there, and feel free to take part in the discussions. Below are also some helpful beyondblue resources you might want to look through first as well: Supporting someone Have the conversation

AGrace SELF HELP TIPS FOR MANAGING DEPRESSION
  • replies: 132

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the ... View more

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the 5 senses Distress Tolerance – Accepting Emotions and Self Soothing Distraction – Put the thoughts/feelings aside and come back to them when you are ready to deal with them Positive Affirmations – Have some affirmations written down repeat them to yourself daily Sleep/Exercise/Diet – All 3 aspects of our lifestyle can impact the way we think/feel Increasing Pleasurable Activities – Engage in at least one pleasurable activity per day

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Mark735 I can't fight this anymore
  • replies: 5

I'm struggling I don't care about anything anymore, I feel like I'm achieving nothing and no one really cares about where I am. I'm struggling financially, mentally, and I can't do this alone anymore. Sure I've spoken to people, but all I get is a le... View more

I'm struggling I don't care about anything anymore, I feel like I'm achieving nothing and no one really cares about where I am. I'm struggling financially, mentally, and I can't do this alone anymore. Sure I've spoken to people, but all I get is a lecture about what is wrong with my life. I'm already well aware of this, I feel like I've stuffed up every aspect of my life. People are so judgemental, and it feels like everyone else gets the love and help while I just get everyone's judgement. My dad passed away 4 1/2 years ago, and since then I've struggled living on my own. I can't pay my bills, to the point where basic essental services are going to be turned off. I've not been able to work much this year due to having a blood clot in my leg due to the Covid injections. So not being able to walk has also been a challenge. I'm slowly regaining strength in my legs now but still can't walk the best, so working will still be an issue. I'm thousands of dollars in debt and all I do is spend every day sitting here and waiting for things to be turned off. Some bills I haven't been able to put anything on for over 12 months, and I'm scared. My partner doesn't seem to get it, whenever I try to say anything about how I'm feeling she quickly changes the subject. Her answer to everything is to just smother me with love, which I HATE. I feel like my real feelings mean nothing to her. I've tried to tell her but she just isn't listening. I'd really like to do deliveries by starting my own business, as driving is the one thing that clears my head and my biggest passion, but I'd need help to do the delivery aspect of it, and trying to find work for this has been very hard. I don't feel comfortable driving a large vehicle, and I'd struggle to get in and out of it anyway. My main issue is I have no money coming in at all, and bills need paying NOW. I've tried everything to scrounge enough just to survive, relying on handouts and the like from friends and family to keep going, but I want to get out and start doing things again. It's like I'm still in lockdown the amount of time I sit here, depressed, worrying about things. I don't know what to do anymore, I feel like I'm trapped here, and I can't see a way out.

rhinoceros Scary relapse of depression and anxiety
  • replies: 7

Hi everyone I'm back posting again because my anxiety and depression which as been generally well managed for the last decade has come back badly. I've been managing to function despite this. I work a 9-5 job in the public service, and I also work 3-... View more

Hi everyone I'm back posting again because my anxiety and depression which as been generally well managed for the last decade has come back badly. I've been managing to function despite this. I work a 9-5 job in the public service, and I also work 3-4 nights a week as a professional jazz musician. The music work helps with the ever-increasing cost of living and also gives me a certain 'release'. I've had some stressful things happen in the last year. I finally got out of a long-term abusive relationship. That was a huge struggle, and the after-effects are ongoing. I am unable to trust people, and even though it's almost 10 months since I left that situation, I'm terrified at the thought of dating etc. I've had to get used to living alone as well. I have moments where I suddenly miss my ex gf, and feel sorry for her. I feel deep regret about the way things ended. I had to go 'no contact', she had strong narcissistic tenancies and I had to leave for my own safety. We also experienced a significant downpour in which water got under my house from the back yard. It's a new home, no landscaping done yet etc, so not enough drainage. I should be grateful to have my own home, but that situation really upset me. I'm arranging to have work done to resolve the problem but I can't stop worrying about it. At times I positively hate the house and wish I never built it. When I wake up in the morning now I have a sense of dread that I woke up again. It's a sense of not wanting to wake up any more. Happy memories of 10 years ago or so seem like another world entirely. It seems impossible that I could have been that happy. My sense of optimism about the future is gone. I used to enjoy going for drives, running, and many other things, but I have zero interest in my hobbies now. All I do now is work and sleep. I have a therapist I see every fortnight, but today I'm having an appointment with a psychiatrist. I did start a new a/d medication a few months ago and it does not appear to be helping much, other than causing my anxiety to become worse. I'm sorry for the rambling but I'm kind of lost at the moment. I should be grateful with my life. I'm blessed to have a wonderful mother, a roof over my head, secure employment, and some nice friends. Even despite this I feel positively dead inside and I just can't find the strength to pull myself out of this black hole. I'm trying to remind myself this is a temporary situation and I'll fell better soon. It's just hard to believe it. Here's my previous thread for a bit more background: Where to from here?

Ratsncats New here but not new to same feelings
  • replies: 6

Hi all omg here I go again some feelings of alone scared overwhelmed tired can’t sleep sleep too much then no sleep for days. Kids still needing same attention kids need more attention. Had whole top row of teeth out except 2 now I look like a hideou... View more

Hi all omg here I go again some feelings of alone scared overwhelmed tired can’t sleep sleep too much then no sleep for days. Kids still needing same attention kids need more attention. Had whole top row of teeth out except 2 now I look like a hideous monster. I cry I can’t find the insulting jokes you say funny at all as I feel so insecure. You call me pathetic because I just want to crawl in a hole. Socialise what’s that that so scary who would talk to someone that’s drooling and can’t talk properly. Another insult gee ta cry again. I can’t go on like this my kids deserve better. I need to wake up from this nightmare that won’t go away. someone pls wake me up.

Skary Bill Every time I call a helpline, I regret it.
  • replies: 27

Writing this as I'm curious to know if this is just a me thing.. I know my situation is not unique. I have depression, and it's always there.. But I don't suffer from it all the time, only when at a really low ebb. And even when that's happening, I h... View more

Writing this as I'm curious to know if this is just a me thing.. I know my situation is not unique. I have depression, and it's always there.. But I don't suffer from it all the time, only when at a really low ebb. And even when that's happening, I have the experience to know it will pass.. Which gives me the confidence to keep my spirits up and shine a little light into the darkness. Every now and then, it's just not enough, and no amount of positive thinking, food, vices or cute animal videos will fill the hole. And it's on these occasions that I find myself thinking I'm in over my head and I really need to talk to someone. Connect with another human.. Just literally have a chat with someone who's not teetering on the brink of the abyss.. Get a bit of perspective.. Perhaps some encouragement. But mostly, just to hear a friendly persons voice, and get out of my own head for a few minutes.. If I wasn't sobbing uncontrollably, I might just have a chat with the neighbor over the fence or something. But the crying thing does make that awkward. lol And so it comes to be that once or twice a year I will overcome my anxiety to pick up the phone and call a stranger, hoping for nothing more than a brief, pleasant, light hearted chat with someone who understands what I'm feeling, or at the very least someone who will put up with the blubbering for a few mins. But in all the years I've been on this journey, I'm yet to ever actually find that person for that chat in my time of need. And it's probably in some part my anxiety playing it's role.. But I need to know, is it just me that finds calling a helpline results in a formulaic conversation that feels more like an interview and is guaranteed to include the topic of self harm? Am I the only one thinking, if I answer some of these questions wrong, I'll end up with authorities banging on my door to check my welfare.. Wondering what list I just got my name on.. Clearly these lines aren't setup to offer the help I need. But I find calling them so stressful, I wonder how many ppl feel the same.

ChildHeart Still grieving six years later?
  • replies: 33

Hello all, I hope you are doing okay. Right.. here we go. In roughly 2011 I resigned (technically quit) my job of almost 10 years and I was living with my parents. During this time my mother got diagnosed with Parkinson's disease and later, a blood d... View more

Hello all, I hope you are doing okay. Right.. here we go. In roughly 2011 I resigned (technically quit) my job of almost 10 years and I was living with my parents. During this time my mother got diagnosed with Parkinson's disease and later, a blood disease. My father who owned his own business found it helpful that I was there with her during the day while he was at work as she declined rather quickly. Before I could decide what to do about getting another job, my father got diagnosed with cancer. I became an at-home carer for the next six years until they passed away a month from each other six years ago. I have a sibling who has lived overseas for many years now and who was not there for 99% of that time that I was there helping them and trying to find a way to stay in control of my own life as depression was already starting to become a part of my life. My sibling came down at the tail end (just after our mother passed away) and as my father was in his last weeks. We hadn't gotten to process my mother's passing by the time we were told by the doctors that my father was in his last days. So when my father passed away I felt completely lost at the time and although my sibling had a life to get back to, I had nothing. I had no choice but to let the feelings wash over me and to face it all head-on which led me to eventually see my GP where I did an assessment and she said it seemed like generalised anxiety disorder and depression. I didn't have the money for therapy so we did the ten free government sessions. I did two of those which weren't all that helpful being that they are too short to even begin to benefit from the therapy. I ended up doing a third session after realising I wasn't getting better and I went straight to my GP to discuss it. It's been six years and it feels like everybody wants me to be healed and fully moved on with my life but it's not that easy. I have tried to do a lot of inner work on myself but people seem to be more interested in the material things like why I still don't have a job (I have an income that allows me to pay rent and food) but people don't understand how hard this has been for me including my sibling who has in all honesty, been rather detached from the whole situation being in another country. I feel pressure to be better than I am but the truth is I am still depressed and I have good days and bad days. I'm tired of putting the happy face on when sometimes I don't feel that happy.

javalava13 Can't even open up to my psych
  • replies: 4

I don't really know where to start or what to say here but pretty much I've had depression my whole life (I'm 24 now) and developed a lot more anxious thoughts/behaviours in the past few years. I saw a psychologist for a few years during uni but stop... View more

I don't really know where to start or what to say here but pretty much I've had depression my whole life (I'm 24 now) and developed a lot more anxious thoughts/behaviours in the past few years. I saw a psychologist for a few years during uni but stopped finding it very useful speaking to her so stopped seeing her mid 2020. I felt she often focused on my chronic health issues as being the root of a lot of my mental health issues (which I didn't really want to hear at the time - something I'm still learning to accept) and my sessions would generally end up being centred around this. I've had a difficult couple of years (as everyone has) so I've started speaking to a different psychologist for the past few months which I've found quite useful. I still don't know if I went about this the wrong way and I regret not having a discussion with my old psychologist about why I was no longer finding our sessions useful. Anyway, re my current psychologist - I find it so difficult to talk about anything remotely emotional/personal with anyone because i wasn't raised in a super open family, and although i find it easier talking to a psychologist, I still can't open up about my major issues and am so scared of being judged. I know a lot of people find it difficult to open up but i'm just wondering if anyone has any advice? I can talk about specific things that have happened between sessions to make me feel the way I do but I have never opened up about how much I hate myself and other more serious things I need to deal with. I also am so sensitive to/receptive of other peoples' response to whatever I say so whenever I open up to my psychologist and she responds in a surprising way or looks remotely judgemental, I get really uncomfortable and close down. I usually manage to get around this and still feel a lot of benefit from these sessions but I had an appt today and I have left feeling more down than ever and like such a failure and awful person. I won't go into exactly what made me feel so down and I do think often she may not think anything of a situation I am mulling over, but I just want to learn to be less sensitive to other people's reactions so any conversation doesn't cause me to have these feelings because they drag me down so, so much, but at the same time I think I am such a selfish person so think I need to listen to these voices in my head and be so conscious of not hurting anyone. I really appreciate anyone who has read this.

Shanthan Coping with Depression - my 2nd thread
  • replies: 7

Hello all, As mentioned in my previous thread, I'm still fighting Anxiety and Depression. I want to express a few of my thoughts during my fight with mental illness. It's been almost a year since I realised something's wrong with me. Along the way, I... View more

Hello all, As mentioned in my previous thread, I'm still fighting Anxiety and Depression. I want to express a few of my thoughts during my fight with mental illness. It's been almost a year since I realised something's wrong with me. Along the way, I always had heaps of questions for myself and the people I interacted with. A few of those questions I would like to mention below; 1. Why do I hate myself? 2. Why do I care about everyone else and not myself? 3. Why don't they care about me? 4. How are the others coping with all the drama in their lives? 5. Am I the only one who's mentally weak like this? Six and the main one. Why should I live? I don't think it's worth it. Eventually, I have come to answer all those questions to myself, even if they are correct or not. I realised I don't hate myself; I hate that I'm weak right now, and maybe, if I give it some time, I will improve. I realised I care about others because it is Human nature, and there is nothing wrong with it. And why I don't care about myself? I don't have an answer for that yet. Why don't they care about me? Maybe they do, and I just made up some unrealistic expectations that aren't possible for them to reach. I also realised that I'm not the only one going through this. There are millions of them, and everyone is fighting hard to overcome that. And the last question, six and the main one. Why should I live? I don't think it's worth it. I still feel like this sometimes whenever I can't handle the negative thoughts. But, at some corner, I find a light that directs me into a little bit of positivity. I hope I don't lose that positivity. Thank you.

Alex_F Managing Depression...
  • replies: 2

I have dysthymia, a term from the DSM-IV I prefer to use over its DSM-V equivalent, "Persistent Depressive Disorder" (because many people tend to be more familiar with it). It's a form of depression distinguishable from major depressive disorder prin... View more

I have dysthymia, a term from the DSM-IV I prefer to use over its DSM-V equivalent, "Persistent Depressive Disorder" (because many people tend to be more familiar with it). It's a form of depression distinguishable from major depressive disorder principally by the facts that it tends to be more moderate in severity, and that it tends to manifest itself less episodically and more constantly (this is in part why people have been lead to think of people with dysthymia as having "depressive personalities"). That said, I do have episodes of more high-moderate to severe depression, but they're relatively short - typically lasting a few days to a week or so at most. I'm a 22-year-old male, by the way, and have been mood-disordered in this way since around the age of 12-13, or thereabouts. I'm medicated with SSRIs, but even with their aid I still struggle. My mother and one of my two younger brothers are also on SSRIs. I suppose, the reason I am creating this thread is because I would like some input from anybody who might care to give it on the fact that I not merely doubt the idea that I am possessed of the strength of character to live a good life with this mood disorder of mine constantly lurking in the background, in need of being fended off, but also that - even if I were strong enough to succeed in having a good life despite my depression - it would be worth doing at all. After all, my depression and my failures to properly manage it - and the ensuing consequences - have set me back in life quite a bit. I'm intellectually capable of higher education, and was admitted to university, but am no longer an enrolled student. Basically, the problems by which my situation is characterised can be summed up as follows: Depressed on and off since the age of about 12-13. It seems to run in the family. Addicted to nicotine (gum and cigarettes). Tumultuous, love-hate relationship with parents. Still living at home and off of a) my parents (yes, I am a burden), and b) Centrelink's disability support pension (i.e. DSP). Unemployed. Not formally educated past the high-school level. No driver's license or vehicle (though I have been on my Ls for about 3 months; it took me more than half a decade of exposure therapy to rid myself of the anxiety I had about driving - plus, I was too immature and irresponsible back when I was 16). This affects my eligibility for certain work or apprenticeships/traineeships, because often reliable transport is required. Advice would be good...

Ray27 Freshly out of school and lost in life
  • replies: 9

Have just graduated school last year. The New Year hasn’t been the worst for me, as I have been able to earn a bit of money and by myself a new car. However I am not at all enjoying my job, constantly clashing with people at my workplace. I also got ... View more

Have just graduated school last year. The New Year hasn’t been the worst for me, as I have been able to earn a bit of money and by myself a new car. However I am not at all enjoying my job, constantly clashing with people at my workplace. I also got dumped by girlfriend of 3 years due to distance which I admit was tough but I am moving on. Point is that I feel like I am already lost at the early stage of my life. I am not going out and socialising as much as i used to, and feel isolated as I live in a rural area. Hoping for advice on whether to tough it out, or to look after myself and go and start a new job in a new town whilst sacrificing income to give myself a chance to be happy.

ratcat New user, longtime sufferer
  • replies: 4

I've been suffering with Depression for over 20 years now. I'm in my early 60's and live alone and no immediate family. I've gone through the trauma of my younger brother being killed by a drunk driver, watched my Father pass away with dementia and f... View more

I've been suffering with Depression for over 20 years now. I'm in my early 60's and live alone and no immediate family. I've gone through the trauma of my younger brother being killed by a drunk driver, watched my Father pass away with dementia and finally took care of my mother by myself at home for the past 5 years. She passed away late last year in December with Parkinson's Disease. This week, a long distance relationship has gone sour and quite frankly I don't remember feeling this bad with depression and anxiety. I have made an appointment with a GP for this Tuesday. I've been usingmedication at the same dosage for most of the 20 years. Do antidepressants need to be changed after long periods of use? I'm worried about long term effects of medication and or withdrawal symptoms if change is required. Should I be looking at changing meds? I feel terrible.