Hi there
You sound like such an incredibly strong and sensitive person. When I say 'sensitive' what I mean is you're someone who's able to sense so much. My heart goes out to you as you've faced so many depressing people in your life while feeling or sensing their impact. To face that many depressing people and still be here looking for the best way forward speaks volumes when it comes to your nature. You're a truly amazing person.
You're obviously 'a feeler' or 'a sensitive' based on a desire to make a positive difference to people and animals. You want them to feel the difference you can make to them. Unfeeling or insensitive people simply don't possess such a nature. You're obviously highly conscious too, otherwise you'd be ignoring your call to make such a difference to so many. You're exactly the kind of person this world needs, the kind of person who brings light to others or holds the light for them when they can't manage to do this for themselves. I suppose one question could be 'Who, now, can raise you to be who you were born to be?'. Could a foot in the door, opening up to a whole new world, involve inquiring into animal shelters, for a start? Could it actually involve something that's self serving in a significant positively mind altering way? Not saying it's the way to go but if you could imagine group therapy for survivors of childhood abuse, for example, could you end up being the light in a group that's helping you at the same time?
Seriously outside the square...brace yourself...could you be a natural born animal whisperer. While such a thing gets a bit of a woo woo wrap, it's not all that woo woo. Takes a sensitive person to be able to easily sense the non verbal communication of an animal. I'm sure you've mastered this with your best mate. I imagine you know what he's thinking or how he's vibing to some degree. I bet he knows you pretty well too, including when you're really down. Even if it's just for fun, try googling the traits and requirements for 'dog whisperer'. You might find if you have this amazing nature (being able to easily read and communicate with animals) this would serve you well on a resume, if you wanted to explore being of service to animals.
I do believe you were born to be a light for others.
