Where to go from here?

Jane971

I’m at a place where I genuinely don’t know where to go from here or what to do with my life. I try to not compare with other people but I just feel like I’m completely wasting away. I feel frozen, like a zombie. What do I do 😞

randomxx

Hi Jane and l'm sorry about where your at, l know the feeling and when l say that believe me , l know.

Butttt, some light out of the tunnel has come to me just of very lately and showing me some direction finally.

l was comparing too but ofc we know we can't and shouldn't do that and besides, we never know what's truly gong on in their lives in private either right but, l know, it's hard not to and we do it anyway.

Me, l'm a bit torn on weather that light would've just come in it's own sweet time anyway all it's own, or on whether it's bc of my efforts pushing it. l talked about my situation here too, but l'd also talked to professionals as well and also skimmed my situation- didn't wanna say too much but to the few people in my life .

Their thoughts helped me a lot no doubt well, usually, at others t was a bit much and l may well have arrived at the same thing just taking the pressure off myself and letting things play out, who knows.

l do know from right through well my life anyway, if l've pushed myself too hard and when things just aren't ready, it's been a whole lot of self imposed stress for nothing. The path has usually shown itself anyway when it was ready.

Depends what your comfortable with and of what usually works for you and in the way that you roll buttt, you could try talking to somebody in the know and with views you respect , or even a professional. As well as weighing up pros and cons of ideas and direction your thinking about.

But you could also try relaxing or you too, giving it time, taking the pressure off and letting it play out for a bit.

Try not to worry, especially about others and where they appear to be at.

Rx

Winifred15

I don't have the answer but I feel the same. I'm just existing. I know things that would make my life better but I'm frozen. I don't act on things and I just sit on a shelf by myself. I just seem to spiral into self analysis. People ask what do you want to do? So I'll ask you the same. What do you want to do? What do you want your life to look like?

Doors24

Dear Jane971,

Your post is something I can empathise with and understand your words.

Some practical advice I can give, is to just take it one step at a time. Step by step. Try not to go much further then that.

It is incredibly hard to feel lost and not feel safe in the direction you are going.

One step could just be writing a list a things you need to get done today or tomorrow. That way there is at least something to do in your days. Purpose.

Another step could be starting a project of something that truly brings you joy or comfort. A game of basketball, learning to crochet again or watching that tv series you have been putting off because you never have time. Identity can be expressed here.

If I want to change a bad habit or start a good one, I tick off each day for 21 days. They say it takes 21 days to make a permanent habit. I am currently trying to introduce better ones and decrease not so good ones. This believe it or not is making an impact on my day to day living. Because you do matter.

There is no right or no wrong. Just take your time. Solutions may show themselves as you go along.

Wishing you the best,

Doors24

therising

Hi Jane971

I think we can be so hard on ourself at times, especially when we're feeling completely and utterly lost with no sense of direction. When we start to add everything up, it begins to make more sense why we're feeling so lost. Until then it can be a little like 'What's wrong with me? Why do I just not know what the heck I'm meant to be doing, when everyone else seems to have stuff worked out?!'.

Often the reasons (for feeling lost) point to the solutions

The structure that was in place offered a sense of guidance and now that structure (school, work, family unit etc) is no longer in place. What does a new structure need to look like and feel like?
The person/people who were once guides are no longer a part of our life. 'What kind of guide do I need right now in my life?' becomes the question
When our imagination goes offline for a while, it can be hard (if not impossible) to see the way forward through our imagination. 'In what ways can I begin to get my imagination back online, so that it's going to serve me?'
We've never really gained a sense of our true nature or we've lost a sense of our true nature. Considering knowing our true nature can be a driving force, the question becomes 'How do I gain or regain a sense of who I really am and therefor what I really want to do?'

I could go on but you get the gist. There can be a whole stack of reasons for feeling so lost. Btw, as a 56yo gal, I can actually relate to all of the above right now in my life, which points to another possibility for why we can be feeling so lost. When just about everything that offers us a sense of orientation/direction suddenly goes out the window, it points to a major transitional period in life. It points to us being on the verge of intense change, whether we like it or not😬.

If someone said to me 'You can either wish everything would suddenly change for the better or you need to work to make sure it does change for the better. Make a choice', I'd choose the wish. Developing a new structure, finding the right guides, exercising and strengthening the imagination and gaining a greater sense of who we really are is no easy task, that's for sure.