What to expect if I present to hospital ED

MumRunner · ‎28-06-2014

Hi, I'm just after some advice so that I can understand what to expect. I've been having strong suicidal ideation for at least a month now and also self harming to help when agitated or the thoughts are overwhelming. My counselor referred me to mental health several times and is concerned. I met with a new case manager on Tuesday and she indicated that I needed to consider either medication or hospital or I was very close to the choice being taken out of my hands. I have a huge amount of anxiety regarding medication, so agreed to try hospital. I have 2 weeks holidays now and was hoping I could use this time to get myself back on track without impacting my work. While very worried I was also incredibly relieved that someone else would be responsible for keeping me safe and I would have a break from constantly fighting the urges and thoughts. She then finally let me know Friday night that the program she has wanted to get me into wouldn't accept me as I'm too high risk (they are a sub-acute program) and my issues would be too distressing for others there. So my case worker said she had made an appointment for me for the mental health psych in a month! So I'm too high risk for hospital, so they wont see me for a month. And just Tuesday she told me they are very worried about me but now I'm left to fend for myself for a whole month.

Anyway...I spoke to my original counselor and she has suggested I just present to hospital. I'm really nervous about sitting for hours in emergency. Also, while I have made plans for

suicide they are not immediate though I have been harming, I don't know if they'll admit you through emergency unless you're imminently about to do something if they let you walk back out the hospital doors. Also do I pack a bag in case I'm admitted? Is that weird? It hardly screams desperation if I rock up with my toothbrush and pj's. I'm rational and not out of my mind, I'm just exhausted from constantly fighting this and don't know how much longer I can hold out. My family doesn't really want to find out either. I just need someone to help me.

beyondblue's clinically-trained moderators often work offline (invisible to you) on issues relating to suicide or self-harm. At the same time, general supportive comments from the community are encouraged. If you have concerns around suicide or self-harm, please phone our support service on 1300 22 4636

MumRunner · ‎07-07-2014

Thanks for asking how I'm going...I spoke to someone about the hospital option and was told to only present if I'm currently unsafe eg have impulses that I feel I'm going to give in to right now. So I don't quite fit that. I had tried to tell myself that I had decided suicide was not an option thinking that would help me focus on getting better and start moving forward. Two nights since then have been bad last night especially so but the danger time i guess you could call it when I'm out of control only lasts a half hour or so...the rest of the time i want to act on my thoughts but am in control enough to know i wont. Seeing my counselor tomorrow but really worried she'll say she can't see me any more because of the level of harm. My case worker is hopeless though, knowing i only have 1 week holiday left she was meant to talk to the psyche about last week but didn't get around to it and now he is on holidays too. I feel very alone in this. My friends have backed off, I'm too high risk for sub acute but not serious enough for acute hospital admission, have huge anxieties over medication so not an option, I don't know what I'm supposed to do, it falls back to me finding enough strength in myself to overcome this and that seems hopeless.

beyondblue's clinically-trained moderators often work offline (invisible to you) on issues relating to suicide or self-harm. At the same time, general supportive comments from the community are encouraged. If you have concerns around suicide or self-harm, please phone our support service on 1300 22 4636.

Mares73 · ‎14-07-2014

Dear Mum runner I've been thinking of you & wondering how your coping? I'm sorry for delays in responses-i only have a phone to get on the net & it's frustrating as it sometimes won't work. Your situation whilst he'll for you is sadly also a sign of the lack of funding & necessary services for mental health. I live in Sydney & the one time I had to call the acute team it was very obvious that there only concern was if I was immediately ie that day going to take drastic action. I'm fortunate enough to have private health cover so could go to a specialist unit if necessary. But I feel so much for those who don't & it sounds like your in that situation. Are you well enough to get to a GP? There's a list on here of one's who have specialized treatment in depression. I wish I could ease your concerns about medication-they don't change who you are but they do alleviate so many symptoms. Think of it like any illness ie diabetes-you need treatment & without it I don't know how I would of kept going. Can you consider it perhaps as a trial? I'm sure it would help you feel far better than you do now. It's nothing to be ashamed of-im guessing most people here are on or have been on medication-they is worth it if it stops those terrible feelings of wanting to end it all. I really am concerned for you..hope to hear how your going. Lve Mares x

AGrace · ‎21-07-2014

Hi mumrunner,

I just wanted to check in and see how you are travelling.

Did you end up heading to the hospital? Reading about your thoughts and feelings, I think presenting to hospital is the best option. You can of course call an ambulance and this means you will likely be seen to quicker, and the paramedics will stay with you during your wait. Bare in mind an ambulance trip can be expensive if you are not covered. You can also just present yourself to the emergency department.

Standardly you will be assessed by a Psychologist or Dr and they will help you decide what is the best option. The unhelpful thoughts you are having do need to be addressed, as these can become plans and then actions very quickly if we are not monitored. Is there someone who could take you to the emergency department? No need to worry too much about personal items as these can be supplied.

I hope you will get back to us and let us know your progress.

AGrace