What to expect if I present to hospital ED

[MumRunner]

Hi, I'm just after some advice so that I can understand what to expect. I've been having strong suicidal ideation for at least a month now and also self harming to help when agitated or the thoughts are overwhelming. My counselor referred me to mental health several times and is concerned. I met with a new case manager on Tuesday and she indicated that I needed to consider either medication or hospital or I was very close to the choice being taken out of my hands. I have a huge amount of anxiety regarding medication, so agreed to try hospital. I have 2 weeks holidays now and was hoping I could use this time to get myself back on track without impacting my work. While very worried I was also incredibly relieved that someone else would be responsible for keeping me safe and I would have a break from constantly fighting the urges and thoughts. She then finally let me know Friday night that the program she has wanted to get me into wouldn't accept me as I'm too high risk (they are a sub-acute program) and my issues would be too distressing for others there. So my case worker said she had made an appointment for me for the mental health psych in a month! So I'm too high risk for hospital, so they wont see me for a month. And just Tuesday she told me they are very worried about me but now I'm left to fend for myself for a whole month. 

Anyway...I spoke to my original counselor and she has suggested I just present to hospital. I'm really nervous about sitting for hours in emergency. Also, while I have made plans for

suicide they are not immediate though I have been harming, I don't know if they'll admit you through emergency unless you're imminently about to do something if they let you walk back out the hospital doors. Also do I pack a bag in case I'm admitted? Is that weird? It hardly screams desperation if I rock up with my toothbrush and pj's. I'm rational and not out of my mind, I'm just exhausted from constantly fighting this and don't know how much longer I can hold out. My family doesn't really want to find out either. I just need someone to help me.

beyondblue's clinically-trained moderators often work offline (invisible to you) on issues relating to suicide or self-harm. At the same time, general supportive comments from the community are encouraged. If you have concerns around suicide or self-harm, please phone our support service on 1300 22 4636

[Jo3]

Hi MumRunner

Although I didn't present myself to hospital, I did call for an ambulance over a year ago for chest pain. But when the paramedics came one of the guys sat next to me and spoke to me about my symptoms. I told him I was sick and tired of going through my depression, anxiety, memories of childhood abuse and his next question was about self harming. He then suggested that they take me to hospital which at first I said no but I was too emotional to make a rational decision. So he decided after talking to my husband that I was to go.  He was very caring and stayed with me the whole time. Brought me into hospital, told to wait in waiting room, waited there for 2 hours then a crisis management team officer came out and called me into a room. We spoke for a while about my issues and about self harm and suicide.

After talking to me she realised that I wasn't high risk and after a physical check with another doctor I was free to go.

All I can say is if you are feeling like this, then pls go to the emergency dept and tell them.

I really hope you get to see someone very soon; as you need help.

Hope you can come back here and let us know how you go.

Take care

Jo

[white knight]

Hi mumrunner,

Welcome to BB forum and thankyou for your courage in posting your worries.

And worries they are. You really do worry a lot dont you. I wouldnt worry about those things that in the scheme of things are not "worth worrying about". EG toothbrush and PJ's.

If you are admitted the medical staff will supply you with what you need, nearly every need.  You should focus on your own health and strength so you can keep yourself in check, so you can make every attempt to remain well.

Worry is non productive. It doesnt do any good for us sufferers. It means the mind is working overtime on matters that it shouldnt be working on.

I sincerely hope you get well. You are worth every effort, you are a wonderful human being. You are unique.  Get well soon.   WK

[MumRunner]

I'm so confused about what I need, 70% of the time I'm fairly normal - depressed and stressed but functioning, 20% I'm agitated or on the verge of tears and 10% I'm highly agitated, very triggered and fighting with chest pains, shakes etc I use one of the helplines at least once a day. During the 70% of being functional i feel like I'm overreacting and the thought of me needing hospital is ridiculous. During the 10% all I can think of is being in hospital so I can feel safe. I go through each of these phases every day

[white knight]

Hi again mumrunner,

your analogy of percentage is a good one. It gives us some idea of the level of seriousness of your situation. I suggest you seek medical attention as soon as possible.

We are sufferers of illnesses too and we are a forum. However we are not medically trained.

I really urge you to ring beyond blue through the numbers provided or seek your GP or other medical help.  Good luck.

[MelMummy]

Hi Mum Runner,

im so sorry for your pain. I've not been to hospital, but a number of friends have. It's definitely worth a shot I think. Just that bit of a break from our crazy realities, can sometimes give us a bit of rest. I really hope you can get some help soon- whether hospital, GP or specialist. It's a hell of a battle to fight alone. x

[MumRunner]

thankyou to those who've taken the time to reply. I've been seeking medical help - gp, counselor, mental health etc and still haven't found a way to move past these thoughts ehich is why i'm at the point of presenting to hospital. I feel like I'm out of options and scared they'llturn me away and then I'll be left with nothing, no hope

[Mares73]

Dear Mum runner I'm assuming you don't have private health cover? I wish everyone suffering this tragic illness had private cover so you could be admitted quite quickly to a specialist unit & get the help you desperately need. I Once called Beyond Blue support service who put me in touch with my local acute mental health team. They visited me at home for an assessment & I reassured them I felt of at home as my kids kept me going. Had I not been good I'm sure I would have been admitted. Have you had a local team do an assessment? This would be your best option I think as the acute teams operate in all areas & will assess your suitability for hospital. Don't forget there's always an option even at your lowest. Take care & hope to hear how you are. Lve Mares xx

[MumRunner]

I live rurally, the nearest CATT team is 2hrs away. My case worker has basically just left it up to me to present to hospital. I have thoughts of suicide but no current plans to act on them. Self harming though. A lot of pressure at home so would be good to have some time away and get myself sorted. The reality of actually going in though is terrifying, and the thought of being away from my children is very upsetting. Plus the stigma...



beyondblue’s clinically-trained moderators often work offline (invisible to you) on issues relating to suicide or self-harm. At the same time, general supportive comments from the community are encouraged. If you have concerns around suicide or self-harm, please phone our support service on 1300 22 4636.

[Mares73]

Dear Mum runner im so sorry for delay-i havnt had internet access for a few days. Is it possible to phone the hospital & briefly explain how desperate your feeling & they would hopefully put you thru to the pysch team or a specialist nurse? Are you feeling any diffrent? If your still feeling really low I strongly recommend you call the hospital & tell them how your feeling or ph 000 & explain your desperation & paramedics would probably come & take u in. I've been concerned about you, please get back to us about how you are? Lve Mares x