Hello Justbreath
Welcome to Beyond Blue and thank you for your post. I get what you mean about being an intelligent woman in what is essentially a man's world. It really is frustrating to be ignored because of your gender and instead of listened to because of your brains. And everyone is so surprised when you make sense, which in some ways is even more annoying.
You talk about the expectations of everyone else. What are your expectations of yourself? Perhaps this is the time to work out what you want and need and go for it. Change jobs, move house, get new hobbies, take on volunteer work in your field of expertise, become a mentor to disadvantaged uni students, etc. etc. etc.
Whatever is most important to you is where you will find satisfaction. Emptiness and isolation are part of feeling uncared for and I suspect you have a degree of depression. Have you talked to your doctor? Take the quick depression quiz on this web site and see how you rate.
You sound as though you are looking for purpose in life and disheartened because you cannot find one. Of course the answer could well be something completely different. I am no expert in this, but this is how it seems to me.
It's easy to say "Find a purpose" but that's not how it works. Have you thought of consulting a psychologist? Your GP can help you with this and you may find it a very helpful experience. Finding your way when you feel lost and alone is difficult and discouraging. If things do not go according to plan immediately, it's easy to believe nothing will ever work.
So first step, consult your GP. If you do not have a regular GP or are not comfortable with your current GP, look under these tabs at the top of the page. Get Support, Resources. You find a list of GPs experienced in mental health issues. There will, hopefully, be someone in your area.
For a short post this has turned into something else. Please write in again.
Warm regards
Mary
